Three words you never EVER want to hear from your DP

[GulliBelle]

Mine are, "We could camp".

‘I’ve been thinking......’ always means an expensive project is looming. Last time he said it we ended up building a second home in his country of origin.

And 4 words that are guaranteed to strike chill into my blood are “Let’s cut through town’. No! It is NEVER quicker to drive from North London to South London by going through the centre of London. There is a reason why the M25 was built and why millions of people use it. Driving through London is a total nightmare. DH knows this but he still suggests it every once in a while just to laugh at my whimpering protests.

On the flip side...3 words I do want to hear are what’s for dinner, because that usually means he wants a takeaway 😂😂

@SmallChickBilly
You are so right. My DP phrases it ‘Did we remember ....’. To which the answer is usually ‘No, WE didn’t remember but I did!’

My mother's coming.

'Long story short...'

Never has it ever been short. He may as well start with 'I was born on a sunny July day and then...'

I don't think my dh ever uses just three words.

i have brought...followed in by some ridiculous purchase, sneakers usually

I would actually love to have a man who would wear a bow tie and say "We could camp"! :o

With ex I most dreaded "Maybe we should..." which meant "I have decided this is necessary and expect you to do it."

You watching this?

Means I'm turning over anyway and watching whatever sport is on

do we have ....?
Where is the ...?

Fancy a cuppa.

Cue a grey strangely metallic tasting cup of piss water that tastes like somebody waved a teabag at a mug of boiling water. Tastes of sweetener, milk, metal and evil.

Or

A cup of tea so strong and dry that you wretch the second it hits your throat. Strangly, this also tastes mostly of sweetener, metal and evil.

There is NO middle ground where it is even slightly nice.

Where's the remote?

Cue major operation to find whichever one is missing, involving blaming everyone else and threatening to ban the kids indefinitely, cos no one has eyes in my house and no one else can see it.

What's for dinner?

'I'll fix it!"

No, you won't! You'll take weeks to even remember something is broken and then you'll actually realize you can't fix it but you'll leave it in it's broken state until I get someone to repair it. 🤦🏻‍♀️

‘I’ve been thinking..’

Icecreamdiva yours has reminded me of "I'll set the satnav" - nooooooooo!

We're probably already running late thanks to his faffing, "I'll set the satnav" means sitting there for another 20 minutes trying to stay calm while the kids squabble and he dicks about with the satnav for some trip we've done 1000 times and know the route of.

I don't need 3 words. Mine is 'Question'

Which means 'I'm about to ask you something I haven't/can't be bothered to think through myself so I'm asking you.'

Like pissing Alexa!!

Quickly show you....

It is never quick, always very detailed & involved - and god help me if it is a spreadsheet! (and I'm an Accountant and love an excel spreadsheet)

For a change this week it has been a rash.

I'll do it tomorrow
(That is 4 words, I know) and is also a lie, as tomorrow never comes.

Or the wrong name

Oh god I don't think I could stand being with someone who said "Question..."

Remember that smell...?

Yes, I guess it's something the cat's done and I'll have to deal with it/scrub the carpet/set fire to the house

"Aren't you ready?" - when I've been waiting ages for him to get out of the damn bathroom.

"Won't be long" - in response to me telling him that dinner's ready.

"Do we need milk?" - (yes I know it's four words) - when I am sitting in the living room and he is standing right beside the fridge and only has to open it to find out.

"Where's the remote?" - when he hasn't checked down the side of the sofa cushions yet.

I've hoovered for you.

*YOU ??!!

oops sorry that was 4

so miss off the "I've"

he he

“Might I suggest..?”

Always delivered in a smug smart-arse tone and invariably preface to an idea which I have already said no to at least 50 times...