Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Bridesmaid outgrown dress

291 replies

Yeahthatthing · 14/10/2019 08:19

Wedding next month. 3 bridesmaIds. Dresses ordered a couple of months ago. Bridesmaid A has done really well at losing weight (3+ stone) and ordered a dress that only just fit. As she was doing so well losing the weight we didn't think anything of it. Dresses tried on yesterday and A has gained weight. Hers doesn't o on. Doesn't go over her hips (down or up) and doesn't zip.

They aren't matching dresses, more 'varition on a theme'. We've paid for the dresses, shoes, jewelry and will be paying for hair and makeup on the day. This is huge portion of a very small wedding budget. A is mortified but hasn't offered a solution. The way I see it:
A) she can drop out of bring a bridesmaid and I suck up the lost money
B) she can order a new dress and pay the extra for express service. This is only possible if done this week. We can't really afford it and would need her to at least pay for the dress.
C) she could buy an off the rack dress in appropriate colour/style. It'll be obvious it isn't the same as the other bridesmaid but as they aren't all matching won't look horrendous.

How do I approach this with her? Any other solutions?

OP posts:
TigerBreadAddict · 14/10/2019 08:21

Can’t it be altered?

wowfudge · 14/10/2019 08:21

Or you could be nice to your friend and go with her to a dressmaker and see whether some panels can be added to the dress so it can be altered to fit.

Or see if it can be replaced with a bigger size from the place you bought it.

wowfudge · 14/10/2019 08:23

Or, order a new one in the right size using the express service and sell the too small one in ebay or Facebook, etc.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Clothing General style & beauty Weddings
Original poster
Yeahthatthing · 14/10/2019 08:23

That was longer than intended!

OP posts:
Original poster
Yeahthatthing · 14/10/2019 08:24

TigerBreadAddict no. There isn't enough excess material.

OP posts:
tumbleisatwat · 14/10/2019 08:26

What's more important to you? The friendship or pretty pictures?

If it's the first, you sort out a suitable dress somehow and flog the unused dress.

If it's the second, enjoy the fall out!

BoomBoomBoomLetMeHearYouSay · 14/10/2019 08:27

You sound v unsympathetic OP.

Who decided to order the dress too small?

Remember you BM a real person with real feelings, not just an accessory for your wedding

Nishky · 14/10/2019 08:28

What about adding panels as someone above suggested

Original poster
Yeahthatthing · 14/10/2019 08:28

wowfudge it can't be altered (due to style). They are made to order only. They chose their own dresses, this isn't something I forced on them.

OP posts:
misspiggy19 · 14/10/2019 08:28

If the bridesmaid ordered that size she should pay for any further alterations or buy a new dresss

OlderthenYoungerNow · 14/10/2019 08:29

Remember you BM a real person with real feelings, not just an accessory for your wedding

This.

Original poster
Yeahthatthing · 14/10/2019 08:31

It's a very small (budget) wedding. No photographer, village hall reception.

She chose the dress - style, colour, size. All the bridesmaids did.

I'm not unsympathetic. I just want a solution. I have 3 weeks and no money.

OP posts:
flapjackfairy · 14/10/2019 08:31

Has she time to lose the weight again ? If she ordered it herself or requested that size she should pay to replace it if not.

MarthasGinYard · 14/10/2019 08:32

I don't believe you've even take the dress to any alteration specialists to get a quote yet, similar happened to my friend and they managed to have a piece put in and added a little chiffon sash thingy. Couldn't tell.

Cost about 40 quid from what I remembered.

tumbleisatwat · 14/10/2019 08:32

You clearly spent too much if you now have no money.

This why we eloped!

Original poster
Yeahthatthing · 14/10/2019 08:34

For reference, their dresses cost more than mine. This isn't about vanity, the day being ruined etc. It's about everyone feeling comfortable and enjoying themselves.

OP posts:
Triglesoffy · 14/10/2019 08:34

Remember you BM a real person with real feelings, not just an accessory for your wedding

Bit harsh. What would you have the OP do? Leave the dress as it is so that it fakes at the back and humiliates the poor girl?

What does the bridesmaid want to do?

walkintheparc · 14/10/2019 08:35

I can't understand having 3 bridesmaids and paying for all of their dresses, but no photographer?!!

sarahjconnor · 14/10/2019 08:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Yeahthatthing · 14/10/2019 08:36

MarthasGinYard the place we got them from is a seamstresses. They altered my dress. It's not a traditional bridesmaid dress.

OP posts:
MarthasGinYard · 14/10/2019 08:36

Also paying for jewellery shoes dresses and make up and hair but nothing in the kitty for an alteration?

walkintheparc · 14/10/2019 08:36

Ask her to buy another dress now, put the other one on eBay/depop and when it sells reimburse her whatever you got for it minus postage. That way she only pays the difference.
I don't have sympathy though, sorry, it's her fault!

ShirleyPhallus · 14/10/2019 08:37

What does the bridesmaid want to do?

Honestly I’d leave it up to her to find a suitable replacement and pay for it herself. She knows the colour scheme and style, she can probably easily find something

Xiaoxiong · 14/10/2019 08:37

Another option is she wears a dress she already has and feels comfortable wearing. Forget about your variations on a theme, if it's a tiny wedding with no photographer then it doesn't matter anyway. Everyone will know in a tiny wedding who your bridesmaids are even if they're not wearing matchy dresses.

What does she want to do?

Finfintytint · 14/10/2019 08:37

Just buy her a similar cheaper dress off the high street.