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Original poster

Bridesmaid outgrown dress

291 replies

Yeahthatthing · 14/10/2019 08:19

Wedding next month. 3 bridesmaIds. Dresses ordered a couple of months ago. Bridesmaid A has done really well at losing weight (3+ stone) and ordered a dress that only just fit. As she was doing so well losing the weight we didn't think anything of it. Dresses tried on yesterday and A has gained weight. Hers doesn't o on. Doesn't go over her hips (down or up) and doesn't zip.

They aren't matching dresses, more 'varition on a theme'. We've paid for the dresses, shoes, jewelry and will be paying for hair and makeup on the day. This is huge portion of a very small wedding budget. A is mortified but hasn't offered a solution. The way I see it:
A) she can drop out of bring a bridesmaid and I suck up the lost money
B) she can order a new dress and pay the extra for express service. This is only possible if done this week. We can't really afford it and would need her to at least pay for the dress.
C) she could buy an off the rack dress in appropriate colour/style. It'll be obvious it isn't the same as the other bridesmaid but as they aren't all matching won't look horrendous.

How do I approach this with her? Any other solutions?

OP posts:
Triglesoffy · 15/10/2019 06:42

Am wading in to say that the wedding dress sample sizes come up a bit small so I do hope the bridesmaid isn’t embarrassed. A size 14 isn’t large at all in today’s society. She will look lovely and I hope everyone tells her so on the day.

As will you!!

The prettiest thing anyone can wear is a smile.

Have a lovely day!

Senseofself1 · 15/10/2019 13:45

Aahhhhh that hits the spot. Less practical solutions, more fat shaming. Boooooo down with fatties. This is really helpful. All fat people have to do is jump in a time machine and go back to when they weren’t fat and just not get fat. One nobel prize coming right up!
The criticism is that she said she would lose weight but instead she has piled on the pounds. Eating too much makes you fat - isn't that right? Drinking too much alcohol makes you drunk. Smoking cigarettes gives you lung disease. Sorry for pointing out the obvious.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/10/2019 15:37

Wonderful update OP, no drama, no nonsense.

I was going to post something similar Donna

No blame, no spite - just "Can anyone suggest a solution".

What a lovely, lovely change.

Have a wonderful wedding OP - and if you get a chance, I for one would like to see a picture of your dress - and hers!

Many congratulations in advance for your day.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Clothing General style & beauty Weddings
TryingAndFailing39 · 15/10/2019 15:53

@MadameButterface you’ve been such a bitch on this thread and it’s completely unnecessary.

OP you’ve sounded completely reasonable throughout the whole thread and some people are just deliberately vile. So glad it’s sorted and hope you have a lovely wedding Wine Flowers

FontSnob · 15/10/2019 17:57

You sound like a lovely friend. I hope you all have a fabulous day Flowers

KevinKlineSwoon · 15/10/2019 18:04

Your poor friend must be mortified. I would be. I once tried to lose weight to be a bridesmaid and didn't. The bride changed her mind about having me and I always suspected it was because a size 20 bridesmaid didn't fit.

starfishmummy · 15/10/2019 18:10

Very bad form to make a BM pay for dress or alterations

The bride has paid for the dress. Not the brides fault that the bridesmaid ordered one that was tok small and has fallen off her diet

caringcarer · 15/10/2019 18:14

Sell the dress and order another in bigger size and go halves with bridesmaid who had tried bloody hard in loosing a lot of weight for your wedding. She has done well don't make her feel bad about herself.

momtoboys · 15/10/2019 18:26

“Bridesmaid A has done really well losing weight”. Says it all to me. Tell her you think she is too fat to be in your wedding and leave it at that.

AlansLeftMoob · 15/10/2019 18:34

RTFT ffs, it has been sorted.

Good luck with your wedding OP, you and your BM sound like really lovely people, wishing you the best with whatever you are facing with your family too Flowers

CuriousaboutSamphire · 15/10/2019 18:35

Oooh! Did someone miss the update Smile

Funny how even the most reasonable of posters get snarked at when weight is mentioned.

OP has been nothing but suportive of her fat bridesmaid. She said she is a fat bride herself. The fat bride and the fat bridesmaid have fond themselves an amicable solution, one that takes into account the fat bridesmaid getting fatter. But still the snarky posts come in...

Read the fucking thread!

Signed: Curious - also fat and not at all bothered by the OPs post, her weight, the bridesmaids weight or the use of the word fat! Fat is as fat does. Some of us fatties just get on with living...

BunnyColvin · 15/10/2019 18:36

Sorry about your family member's news OP Flowers

Glad the problem is being sorted. Enjoy the wedding!

Chocolatehamper · 15/10/2019 18:41

Just wanted to say so pleased the dress dilemma is being sorted and also so happy to read that you have someone to take photos of your day, photos are so important - especially with what you are facing.

Wishing you a fabulous wedding and hopefully someone will be able to record a Father/Daughter dance for you? All the very, very best for your future married life and I hope your father enjoys it all too xx

Loveyou3000 · 15/10/2019 18:57

Nice to see one of these threads end with a mature, reasoned and drama free solution, (something about weddings can make people, guests, wedding party and the couple go a bit loopy can't they!) lovely idea with the autumnal colour dresses, gorgeous

Triglesoffy · 15/10/2019 19:00

Size 14 is NOT FAT!!!!!!’

PrincessConsuelaBanana · 15/10/2019 19:43

Sounds like all will end well here - I'm sorry about your sad family news OP, I hope you still manage to have a brilliant day. For what it’s worth I think you handled the situation well and have been more than generous in paying for BM full outfits hair and makeup!

ThatMuppetShow · 15/10/2019 19:44

Size 14 is NOT FAT!!!!!!’

depends
today's UK size 14 is huge

Chinese size 14 much less

Vintage size 14 was considered big, but today looks fairly medium.

PurpleDaisies · 15/10/2019 19:46

Size 14 is fat for some people. Not others.

Honeyroar · 15/10/2019 19:48

Glad it's all worked out well. And compliments on not getting snarky at the multitude of stupid, attacking replies you were getting!

Would it be possible for her to order (and pay for) the same dress in the bigger size, and then she can have the money when the small dress is sold off in the sample sale?

theemmadilemma · 15/10/2019 19:54

I like how all the trolls on here have been going on, and it's all resolved in a lovely clear, friendly way between you and your friend. lol

ThatMuppetShow · 15/10/2019 19:58

Size 14 is fat for some people. Not others.

depends what year you are talking about

Bridesmaid outgrown dress
PurpleDaisies · 15/10/2019 19:59

depends what year you are talking about

This year. I am fat at a size 14.

TARSCOUT · 15/10/2019 20:03

I think she should either buy another dress or not bother and have one less bridesmaid!

Wonderland18 · 15/10/2019 20:21

She’s a good friend, owning up to it herself and looking for solutions so you didn’t have to!
Great update hope your wedding goes fab and you and your friends and family have a ball!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 15/10/2019 21:14

Hope you both manage to sort it out without spending a fortune. That John Lewis dress on eBay is gorgeous.