Bridesmaid outgrown dress

[Yeahthatthing]

Wedding next month. 3 bridesmaIds. Dresses ordered a couple of months ago. Bridesmaid A has done really well at losing weight (3+ stone) and ordered a dress that only just fit. As she was doing so well losing the weight we didn't think anything of it. Dresses tried on yesterday and A has gained weight. Hers doesn't o on. Doesn't go over her hips (down or up) and doesn't zip.

They aren't matching dresses, more 'varition on a theme'. We've paid for the dresses, shoes, jewelry and will be paying for hair and makeup on the day. This is huge portion of a very small wedding budget. A is mortified but hasn't offered a solution. The way I see it:
A) she can drop out of bring a bridesmaid and I suck up the lost money
B) she can order a new dress and pay the extra for express service. This is only possible if done this week. We can't really afford it and would need her to at least pay for the dress.
C) she could buy an off the rack dress in appropriate colour/style. It'll be obvious it isn't the same as the other bridesmaid but as they aren't all matching won't look horrendous.

How do I approach this with her? Any other solutions?

Good luck with getting the new dress. You sound like a very considerate bride and lovely friend. Have a fabulous wedding!

Some of us fatties just get on with living...

We do Curious - living and enjoying our food without too many worries about it.

It's baffling how often the "size x is not fat" thing comes up here. Do so many people really not realise that clothing size is hugely dependent on height and build and that two people of the same "clothing size" can look and be completely different shapes? I'd be enormous at a size 14. My taller, broader friend without an ounce of fat on her would be barely bigger than she is now. It's a clothing size, not a divine judgment.

It's baffling how often the "size x is not fat" thing comes up here. Do so many people really not realise that clothing size is hugely dependent on height and build and that two people of the same "clothing size" can look and be completely different shapes?

Yes I get annoyed by those comments generalising all women to one clothes size. If you are 5'2 and a size 14 you probably look fat. I knew a girl nearly 6ft and a size 14 and she was very slim. She is just naturally going to have larger measurements because she's tall. But she thought she was fat because she's been conditioned to think 14 is not a slim size.

Bridesmaid A has done really well losing weight”. Says it all to me. Tell her you think she is too fat to be in your wedding and leave it at that.

@momtoboys I think you’ve deliberately misinterpreted that comment. Your response is bitchy and no doubt fuelled by a chip on your own shoulder about weight or weddings or some other issue you are projecting here.
Nowhere does OP imply that she wanted her to lose weight specifically for the wedding and OP says she is overweight herself. I took OP’s comment to mean BM wanted to lose weight and has done really well despite having put a bit back on. She sounds like a supportive friend who cares about BM’s feelings in this situation.

I think you should say "I really want you to be in my wedding. It's up to you what you want to wear instead of this one. I'm happy as long as you are there and comfortable."

Then BE happy with whatever she wears. I know it seems like a big deal now, but if you are marrying the right person, for the right reasons, you will not give a hoot on the day about your bridesmaids not matching.

Also, pernicious diet culture sucks. 95% of people who lose more than 10% of their body weight gain it back, most with a little extra added on. And then they feel like failures. I would try to encourage some body positivity and health at any weight for this person you clearly care about.

I think there is a certain defensiveness about sizes, hence the size x is not fat thing,

I'm five eight, at a size fourteen I definitely look chubby and over weight. Not fat exactly, but certainly not a healthy weight for my height.

We are all different and some women won't be over weight at a fourteen, but some will.

The majority of comments on here are unnecessary, bitchy and deliberately missing the point.

OP is not being nasty or judgemental. She gave us some background so as not to drip feed and has explained the problem requesting ideas how to resolve the issue. She did not ask you all to be as nasty as possible whilst simultaneously projecting your own issues in order to accuse her of all kinds of f***y.

@Yeahthatthing ask her what she would like to do to resolve the issue. It was her choice to buy the dress too small and she made the cardinal error of thinking she could drop the weight in time and keep it off... this happens ALL the time and is an obvious mistake but the mistake is hers not yours, therefore she needs go back to the seamstress to see if anything can be done or buy an off the peg dress in the same colour and SHE needs to absorb the costs not you.

You were nice enough to pay more for the custom bridesmaids dresses than your own so your financial input here is done.

Eh, felics, probably an idea to actually read the fhread when considering attacking posters, 🤣

@FelicisNox

RTFT
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Surprisingly after 286 comments, things have moved on.

You said they were made to order? Did they actually sew it to the correct size?

Lulu49 made to order, not made to measure. The size it came in was correct, the shop confirmed they measured the dress to double check against the listed sizing and it matched.

So pleased you've managed to chat to your bridesmaid. Really hoping she finds a lovely new dress and the old one sells. Wishing you a fabulous wedding day.

P.S. the candid shots at our wedding were the best, far nicer than the staged group shots. I'm sure your friend will get some lovely ones. Don't forget to ask friends and family to share any they take too.

Could you get some matching lace, or contrasting lace, or the same type of fabric in the colour to put panels in? This happened to me a few years ago (my own fault, I'd done the measurements wrongly), and I paid for the replacement dress as it was my error (the family had paid for the first one so I didn't think it fair that they paid for a second one!). I think we sold the first dress on ebay if I remember correctly.

LocLocal think that might not be true www.nytimes.com/1999/05/25/health/95-regain-lost-weight-or-do-they.html#targetText=It%20is%20a%20depressing%20article,a%20few%20months%20or%20years.
depends what year you're talking about . I was fat in 1979 when I was a size 14, and fat a few years ago at the same size. There was about 2 stones in difference though.