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Original poster

Is your life still shit? I can solve all your problems....forever.

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 03/04/2019 21:48

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. As I am unfettered by knowledge or training I can help you to solve every problem you have. Step inside my lovely advice clinic which is staffed by myself and my team of kindly Agony Aunts.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
30
M3lon · 04/04/2019 12:32

helloooooo???? thigh you forgot to turn the bloody lights on!

M3lon · 04/04/2019 12:34

Oooh...I like this new thread...its giving me hoover ads and a barely concealed cock in tight pants....

The only thing that could possibly be better would be the owner oft he cock in tight pants using the hoover...

DanglyTassles · 04/04/2019 12:39

Tadaaaah! From
The tour bus!!

MrsCatE · 04/04/2019 12:44

'Born free, as free as the wind blows'

Thank fuck I found you!

I think we should start each new thread reiterating the four rules / edicts of Thigh however, I can't be arsed. Anyone arsed?

M3lon · 04/04/2019 12:44

wait...there are rules?

thislido · 04/04/2019 13:12

Just throwing down my slanket.

No visitors
No being off

What were the others?

thislido · 04/04/2019 13:13

no being told off I mean. we're all a bit off.

M3lon · 04/04/2019 13:16

That's a relief...'no being off' would be a major issue!

DanglyTassles · 04/04/2019 13:26

Lie down

Nobody is too fat or too thin

Gettingnowhere · 04/04/2019 13:26

That's normally my job and I was hanging around the other thread considering fungi banks at Kew and wondering where the fuck everyone was

Rule 1. Lie down
Rule 2. No guests
Rule 3. Nobody is too fat or too thin
Rule 4. Nobody gets told off (not even fruit)

Gettingnowhere · 04/04/2019 13:28

Waves to all the lurkers

M3lon · 04/04/2019 13:38

yay - now we are official!

CarolinePooter · 04/04/2019 13:39

Dumps down bags and puts the kettle on

Gettingnowhere · 04/04/2019 13:42

Welcome newcomers. Don't be put off by the smell. We're here to help. Please post your questions and we'll provide you with a solution

TheLoneWolfDies · 04/04/2019 13:45

I have a question. So i have just been reading the rest of that 'unmumsnetty crap' thread (got too lazy the first time and gave up, still havent read all of it). Why on earth do people have a problem with toilet brushes on here? Am i missing something? Should i not have a toilet brush? Are people just mental? How do i clean the constant shit stains without a brush?

Gettingnowhere · 04/04/2019 13:50

Do toilets really need cleaning? Surely after you've cleaned them, they just get dirty again. Save up the stains and say it's a modern art installation

Gettingnowhere · 04/04/2019 13:52

Even better, Lonewolf, name it "Is Your Life Still Shit?" In honour of Thighland

TheLoneWolfDies · 04/04/2019 14:01

Getting now thats genious!

Nowaypast · 04/04/2019 14:07

Oh I have a problem! Well - I have many problems - but my most pressing one at the minute is - forcing a confession from the tea towel thief. Every single day, without fail, my tea towel, apparently under its own steam, makes its way from my kitchen to my dining room. I have 4 adult dc and a dog. None of them will own up. I'm considering staking out the kitchen but somehow I feel life is too short ... Please advise :)

Gettingnowhere · 04/04/2019 14:13

Noway in Thighland we generally consider teatowels unnecessary, as Monster Munch can be eaten straight from the pack.
Do you have a slanket? Most members of Thighland have one. You'll find it useful for your stake out. Move your sofa into the kitchen. Remain "staking out" until all 4 DC give up and leave home for good

Nowaypast · 04/04/2019 14:17

GettingNowhere thank you for your wise words. As a matter of fact I do have a slanket. And not only do I have one - but I have a hook on the back of the sitting room door to keep it on. I'm a bit worried about not needing teatowels though - what else would I blow my nose on?

Just off to measure the sofa ...

Nowaypast · 04/04/2019 14:18

Oh I forgot to mention that the sitting room door is currently not attached to the sitting room doorframe. Felt I should disclose that to you kind people

MirandaWest · 04/04/2019 14:20

What do I make for dinner tonight. Either vegetarian (DD doing this for lent) or possible to to easily make non vegetarian. Bonus marks for something that doesn’t involve any additional purchases so you’ll have to guess what I might have in the house

Gettingnowhere · 04/04/2019 14:24

If the sitting room door is attached to the Slanket this is attached to you, then I am impressed. Do not replace the door. In Thighland we believe in reverse improvement. That includes lying down at all costs and never having guests.

As for the nose-blowing, Slankets have a number of uses. We once had a slanket named Barry that went to work in an office and write offensive emails to people.
But if you don't like the idea of getting your slanket bogied, do you have a "husband"?

Gettingnowhere · 04/04/2019 14:25

Miranda Pickled Onion Monster Munch