Is your life still shit? I can solve all your problems....forever.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. As I am unfettered by knowledge or training I can help you to solve every problem you have. Step inside my lovely advice clinic which is staffed by myself and my team of kindly Agony Aunts.

getting at least she HAD pubes, bless her.

Pooter I told you that in private . You know how long I've been waiting...

Hello Caroline. I must say you are all very welcoming, not to mention informative, in thighland. :).

Is there proof that Marilyn did, in fact, actually have pubes (I don't think I've ever had cause to type that word before today)?

Her pubes were pink and shaped into a heart. We all know it's illegal to have body hair now.

What's the penalty for transgressing the body hair law?

Because I don't want to go to prison, especially not before solving my tea towel problem

It's ok No, Thigh was just being ironic about real life. In Thighland pubic hair must measure at least one metre base to tip and be used as ropes in emergencies

How's the stake out going?

Wow, I never knew about pube gate. You really do learn something new every day in the land of thigh.

I may grow my pubes out and dye them pink as a tribute. What about bum pubes? Would I need to dye those pink aswell?

No Lone!! Not pink. Do you want the FBI after us all??

Pooter do you think your spiders might be able to spin me some pubes?

getting they would struggle to get them to regulation length. Have you considered a merkin ?

I wouldn't mind the FBI after me .... Very relieved to learn of the thighland one metre rule. I do have particularly short legs though so I'm wondering if I might receive a special dispensation to stop growing pubes at say knee level? It's terribly inconvenient tripping over them if I go the whole one metre.

I'm waiting for darkness to fall before commencing my stakeout.

Great idea Pooter, it will match my cap

I have found my people

Although I feel I’ve failed already. I have guests coming tonight. I did not invite them, neither did my DH so after some research it turned out DM invited them over to have a look around our new house on our behalf

Would it be ok to perch on the bottom step of the stairs and growl softly at them u TIL they leave?

Getting let them try! A great opportunity for some mass murdering IMO!

Although that would require me to move so it depends what mood I'm in when they come of course.

Norris no, do not growl softly. You need to make sure they feel your wrath. Try farting everytime they open their mouths, cough and sneeze all over them and if all else fails, murder is the only solution.

Norris why stop at growling? A nip or two would be perfectly reasonable under the circumstances.

Lone I was saving the murder for Norris's mother

I fear that farting in their general direction and murder are the same thing in my case, or at least have the same outcome for the victim.

I also require clarification on the pubes requirement. Does it extend to under arm hair and if so, is the requirement that both be 1m long or do we grow the arm hair to the same length as the pubes to form a sort of single length curtain? It would almost be like a built in slanket if you knitted it...

Where the fuck is Project when there are laws to be clarified?

Are we in danger of ending up with No Deal Pubes?

Getting plenty of murder to go around! We can assign 2 people per victim if need be.

It will need more than 2 of us to take my aunt down. She may be 73 but she’s scrappy and there’s a set of dentures on her that can dent cutlery. I’ve seen it.