Is your life still shit? I can solve all your problems....forever.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. As I am unfettered by knowledge or training I can help you to solve every problem you have. Step inside my lovely advice clinic which is staffed by myself and my team of kindly Agony Aunts.

Can I join you? I come from a long line of bad mothers according to my DM.

Oh Rag please do join. And bring all your bad ancestors with you

How do I get my slanket off the hook if I'm lying down? I'd quite like to put it to work though I don't think it's bright enough for office work. Also - it's maroon . I don't have a husband but the dog might do?

Miranda pot noodle, mushroom flavour.

I was raised on a diet of boil in the bag cod in parsley sauce, findus crispy pancakes and angel delight.

Dangly dog question for you. Project office slanket. Am I holding the fort by myself here??!!

Rag that sounds quite effortless and Thigh-like. Do you have any problems we can solve for you? (By WE I mean all the other members of Thighland who showed up for Page 1 and seem to have buggered off again)

Oo i wish i had pot noodles in the house... way to windy to leave to get some though!

Good ideas - however there is only one pot noodle in the house and 4 people to feed. Possibly a bit meagre. And no monster much at all

Order a takeaway and give the vegetarian some celery! That'll teach her!

Oh Miranda, Miranda, you need to discover your inner Thigh. Asda delivers one ton of Monster Munch to every member of Thighland every Thursday.
About these people you are feeding - did you spawn them or are they "guests"?

Angel delight isn't effortless . You have to open the packet, find a bowl, add milk, and then whisk.

Can you get pre mixed angel delight? Could that be my way to make a million?

Miranda there's only one of you, so one pot noodle should suffice. As a snack.

Oh Noway, you're supposed to open the packet and do stuff to it? That's why I always found it so dry and strangely chewy.

As nobody else seems to be here to offer solutions, let me volunteer M3 to get your slanket for you. She's our part-time ghost. She's useful for retrieving stuff.

We encourage a little low energy enterprise in Thighland. Crayoning MOT certificates, rolling across fields on sunny days wrapped in slankets and growing our own fungi are some of our endeavours.

Wy aren't the spawn cooking? You'll be doing them a favour. Direct proceedings from the sofa, if you can be bothered.

Hi This. Do you do dog advice?

Noway welcome, I believe mousse has already been invented, but there's no arm in trying.

harm. I'd leave the arms out too.

Dogs - not really. Does it fetch things? If not then perhaps a long pole with a hook on the end. Must the slanket be hung up? I find it handier to leave mine anywhere I might lie down.

I just need to know if it's ok to wipe your nose on a dog if you don't have a husband. Asking for a friend

oh I see. I thought the dog was fetching the slanket or a tea towel or something. probably more effective to just hold one nostril down and blast air through the other. it will land somewhere, there's no need to plan that bit. plus you have a sleeve for any dribbles.

I hope thigh hasn't strayed into the wilderness.

I hope she hasn't strayed into a pineapple plantation

Angel delight isn't mousse, the texture is completely (is that how you spell completely?) different. I'd be happy to share any profits from my invention with you folks in return for your most excellent slanket/hook/dog advice.

What is thighland policy on pink wafer biscuits please? One packet or two?

Two packets of pink wafers and 90% share of your profits

Really? I remember it being moussey. It's been a long time. I only liked butterscotch.