I'm 5, AMA

[Soitis83]

My son’s home from school with a fever. He's fine, just laying about.
You ask, I’ll ask, he’ll answer. Together we’ll tackle the big questions of the universe with the wisdom of a 5-year-old who’s been outsmarting me since he could talk. AMA (Ask My Apprentice).

Do you know why you can't hear pterodactyls going to the loo?

You seem to love your brothers very much. Do you think you could remember how much you love them for say 10 to 15 years and not constantly argue with them about inconsequential [swearword]? preferably more?

My 5 year old calls his big toe his 'foot thumb' and we love it!

I think posts are written to reflect the way we speak because they are supposed to be relaxed and conversational. Formal writing is a different matter. This isn’t meant to be formal writing. For what it’s worth I am prone to a similar pedantry @DappledThings (Note to self: chill out and do not correct posts for grammar).

That’s lovely. I am going to start using that.

How do you know you’re important to your mum?

At what age are you 'old?'

Whats it like being old?

What food should be banned for being evil?
Why is it evil?

My grandson referred to his toes as his foot fingers until he was about 7

Thank you SO MUCH for this thread, it has absolutely made my day.

If the wee man is up to it later, I'd like to know if he would rather eat real chocolate that tastes like poo, or real poo that tastes like chocolate.

That thread was lots of fun. I don't know if he'll feel up to answering anymore questions later but I'd really like to know at what age I should let my kids play video games/nintendo switch (they are currently 6 going on 7, 5yo and 18 months old).

What is the worst dinner you can think of?

My 5yo daughter also loves True!

She doesn't like phonics, but she does like school so much she also goes to lots clubs and classes after school. She is a Rainbow but you could be a Beaver.

My question is: How many clubs do you think is the right number for a 5 yo to do in a week?

I hope he feels better later - its been such a lovely thread. As he enjoyed the comment about wombat poo you might cheer him up by asking him if he knew that barnacles have a willy that is 8 times longer than they are tall.

Of course they do! My grandkids have been trained from the age of 3 that all orange smarties must be given to grandma.
Other than mum and dad, who is your favourite person and why?

I know you love your brothers, but what would you choose - your brothers or a life-size chocolate dinosaur and three times as many presents at Christmas?

Oh this is a darling thread! Thank you OP's mum!

And OP too of course 😍

What a wonderful thread. Thank you OP and your little lad. Hope it's taken his mind off feeling poorly. I also feel poorly with a cold so you've entertained me!

ketchup or mayonnaise with chips??

This has been wonderful! Thanks OP, and I hope you’re feeling better soon. And thanks Mum — clever idea to entertain a bright child and a load of women taking a break from work. I’m glad he’s resting now.

I’ve just thought — his temperature isn’t too high, is it? Nothing to worry about, I hope?

Because it isn't a dinosaur. Just like the ichthyosaurs aren't dinosaurs - dinosaur are land animals.

Guess who spent many years going to the Natural History Museum with her small children

@Soitis83sorry hope its ok I kinda used your idea

Surely this thread can only be entertaining to the OP? Yawn

As a grandmother now, I can say that you might actually mean the "yes", when they have all grown up and left home - or even when they are teenagers if you have a quiet enough few minutes to actually think back to when they were tiny!

My absolutely favourite thing to do these days is to play with, or cuddle, or read stories too, or to even just watch my dearest grandchildren when they are doing anything really - they are better than breathing! I had better stop now in case I am starting to sound creepy 🙈

I just love them so much! I am a paternal grandmother, who can only spend time with my grandchildren 3 to 4 times a year as we live hundreds of miles away, but I was just as besotted with my older grandchild when she was younger, and we used to have her at least one day a week as we lived much nearer then. Actually, I don't know why I said "was", I am just as besotted now, but she is a teenager now, so even when I do get to see her, I don't get a chance to just sit there mesmerised by her - she would soon say "granny stop staring at me"!

Dear @Soitis83's son, I hope you are soon feeling much better! You sound like such a gorgeous and clever 5 year old, your mummy is so lucky to have you and your lovely brothers, and you and your brothers are lucky to have such an amazing mummy, but you might not realise that just yet! My "little boys are all grown up now, and 2 of them are daddies themselves, which they love being very much. If you are not too tired to answer another question, do you think that boys and girls usually like the same, or different things? There isn't a right or wrong answer 😁

@Soitis83 your son is delightful, and I'm sure that your other ones are too! You are obviously a great mum, and I hope that if your little one falls asleep you can have a nap too! Thank you for this thread 🩷

When he wakes please ask him if he deserves ice-cream for answering all these questions. I think it might tempt him to eat.