I'm 5, AMA

[Soitis83]

My son’s home from school with a fever. He's fine, just laying about.
You ask, I’ll ask, he’ll answer. Together we’ll tackle the big questions of the universe with the wisdom of a 5-year-old who’s been outsmarting me since he could talk. AMA (Ask My Apprentice).

laughs were toes wait both of them are the same? So I'm choosing. Hmmmm fingers on my fingers

How many best friends does a child need to have at school? And what makes someone NOT be a best friend any more?

so if you're a bully you can go on the red and stay on the red for all day but you can sometimes go on the green if you say nice things or do things I like

Cat food, obviously!

SQUARE? Is the toilet square?

So you can have them all if you want. Errr ignoring you and saying or not playing with me

Who is the grumpiest out of Mummy and Daddy?

Daddy

I would LOVE that! I really like Taskmaster... precisely because it celebrates play, and I love watching grown-ups do silly things.

I suspect some tampering with this answer 😇

What a great thread. Such a refreshing change from the usual. Apart from @DappledThings who didn’t seem to quite get it. Children use language in the most wonderful creative way. We shouldn’t force them to conform too soon.

Yeah, can we knock it off now? I agree with @FenyouGreek. I'm also extremely precise and pedantic when it comes to language, and educated my own children as I saw fit. There is a time and a place. This thread isn't it.

I have a really really important job to do at work today: should I drink orange squash or blackcurrant squash whilst I do the job?

Thank you for your kind attention on this matter. * *

I stared him dead in the eye before he answered.

Orange squash cus that's the best of course

🦖🐲🦕

It wasn't the child getting it wrong! Nor is the child actually being addressed unless you think he is reading and typing himself.

Bizarre how riled up people are getting at accuracy. I wasn't the only one to make the correction.

@DappledThings seriously- what is wrong with you that you take a perfectly charming thread and just batter it and all of us into submission. Just enjoy it or let it go.

I missed a trick. I should have said that a Norasaurus is the best one.

I don't think I'm battering anything or anyone. It's a fun thread with a mild diversion and I only returned because I was quoted. I'll not respond again if it's making people this tetchy

Why has the humble pterodactyl not been mentioned yet?

WHY?

That's my question for the five-year-old, btw, I'm not asking OP to justify the thread.

OP this is so brilliant!! I have a Minecraft obsessed just turned 6 year old and next time he is unwell this is what we are doing 😂😂

My question - do you always put your shoes on/brush your teeth/get dressed/ turn the TV off when mummy asks you to? First time?

If so how do I get my 6 YO to do this please 🙏 😂

He's fallen asleep now. Temperature went quite high and now he's very tired.

But I can answer this for him. No he does not. And I just know the advice would to be 'just keep arguing and give really silly answers to distract the mum, so the mum eventually stops asking and does it for me'.