I'm 5, AMA

[Soitis83]

My son’s home from school with a fever. He's fine, just laying about.
You ask, I’ll ask, he’ll answer. Together we’ll tackle the big questions of the universe with the wisdom of a 5-year-old who’s been outsmarting me since he could talk. AMA (Ask My Apprentice).

Do you like school?

What should I have for lunch today? Is a Twirl acceptable?

Yeah. My favourite part of school is phonics and I love lunch time and snack time because last time I didn't have fun at snack time because I didn't get to have a snack

I'm doing this verbatim.
"Wait who is asking me? Somebody ? Maybe his name is somebody?
Err no. They can't. They could have jacket potato or pasta. You could choose any of them"

Do worms poo???

Do you know that the correct word is lying not laying and do you agree it would he helpful for you to learn this now?

Yes. Why are they asking that? Who's asking it ? Tell me. Tell me mum. TELL ME. Okay.

No, I don't. Do you?

What do you love about your family ?

I do. At 5 you should be keen to get things right.

Jesus Christ. I mean are you ok? Because that’s a level of pathetic rarely seen even on mn.

My question: what’s mommy’s worst habit? 😬

What’s your favourite thing to do?

Laying? Lying? Who cares?!

Everything. Errrr my mum and dad and brothers and also my cats and I like the car because it has chewing gum in. I love the car so much.

Would you rather travel back in time to meet a dinosaur or be able to fly?

Errr play with my brothers

What job do you want to do when you grow up?

I miss the laugh emoji.

I also correct my children when they make grammatical errors like that.

Should sandwiches be cut into squares or triangles?

Errr I don't know. Errrr you fart sometimes and wee a lot

Shush now.

Brilliant post! What do you want for Christmas?

😂😂

Hmmm be a policeman. Actually no. Actually yeah

Both. Because some people eat them in triangles and squares like and also you can eat them in rectangles if you want

Now this, this is the sort of big question we need answered.