I'm 51, my lover is 81 - AMA

[Gerontophile]

NC for this. I know MN as a whole has views on relationships with large age gaps so thought people might be interested. Or just curious.

Are you female and your partner male? How did you meet?

Is he seriously rich

A secret millionaire or billion trillion are?

L.o.l 😅

Why not go for it

How long have you been together?

Yes to the first question. We actually met several years ago via mutual friends but reconnected at a community event a couple of years ago.

Just under two years.

Why lover? Is this a casual arrangement?

Do you live together as a couple? What have been the negatives of your relationship?

A couple of years ago when I was 57 I started seeing someone who was 14 years older, but it didn't work for me as he seemed too "old-man-trying-to-be-younger" for me.

Is he fit and active?

Gerontophile? Is this a fetish of yours?!
Do you have sex?

No. He's comfortable, but so am I - I run a successful business. We've never compared bank accounts, but are probably about as well-off as each other. I'm not in it for the money.

As long as you're happy then you crack on, it's nobody else's business really!

It's more casual than a partnership, yes, and 'boyfriend' really doesn't suit a man of 81!

Thanks @HalloumiGeller . I think the same!

Are you worried you will end up becoming a carer for him? (I know this could happen at any age, but I'm asking as it's much more likely in this situation).

Don't ask strangers to ask you questions about it then 🫤

I’m not really sure why you’re asking, I’m close to your age, but blokes in their 80s don’t do it for me, they do you. And that’s fine. Carry on.

honestly i’m gunna just say it

do you have sex? and is it good?

No, we don't live together and have no plans to. If there are any negatives, they are probably about other people's judgements, but neither of us particularly cares about that. We are a generation apart, though, so sometimes struggle to identify with each other's cultural references. And of course, had very different experiences growing up!

When did you start to fund him attractive? Is he objectively attractive? Does he have a quick and alert mind?

Assuming he is in good health, and you're not inadvertently falling into the role of looking after him, then good for you both. What do his family think?

Very. Fitter than I am, probably!

I'm not asking anything - just thought people might be interested. No problem if they're not.

Has he got any Sons or Daughters?

Yes we do, and it's some of the best I've ever had!

I guess you have made some sort of mental commitment to nurse him if he gets ill and was dying.

Do you think he could or would nurse you if you were the ill one?