I'm 51, my lover is 81 - AMA

[Gerontophile]

NC for this. I know MN as a whole has views on relationships with large age gaps so thought people might be interested. Or just curious.

😂😂

Good for you. I am glad to hear of anyone of 80+ having a fulfilling sex life by whatever means.

Sounds like you both are happy and that is the main thing.

People generally think he's 10 years younger, but unless you're that sort of age yourself, that's probably fairly meaningless. He enjoys the things I do - travel, theatre, socialising so we act the same age I guess.

More really I would have thought

My DH is of the 60s and I'm of the 70s (teenage wise) and I struggle with that.

No questions but good on you both

@AMuser Thank you!

Haha, yes all his own and well looked after. Now that might have been difficult to get over....

Thanks @ChrissieWaterpRk - he is.

He was a research scientist - very much the opposite of my line of work.

Hobbies - he travels a lot, reads a lot (particularly history), gardens, walks...nothing out of the ordinary, but nothing particularly 'old man'-ish either.

What would I change? Hmm...he's a bit of a back-seat driver....!

He has two sons, 55 and 52. And five grandchildren.

I won't pretend this wouldn't give me pause if a friend dated someone that age, but it sounds like you both are very happy which is awesome!

This is a lovely thread. It's made me question my own initial judgement about an age gap like this.

Thanks for sharing with us. 💝

But whatever floats your boat, darling.

@EggyBreadBrekkie Who even speaks like that?

Do other people sometimes mistake you for father and daughter, and does that annoy you, or can you just laugh about it?

I was going to ask if he was an academic/researcher. There is something about this profession that means they age well (this is purely anecdotal and not at all peer reviewed proper research haha).

I am not sure if it's the lack of physical work so they don't get much weather damage to their skin or if it's because their mind is more active for longer or some other random variable, but I work closely with loads of professors, academics and researchers and they all (male and female) age well. It's a weird phenomenon. The director of my organisation is 60 and I can see him going on another 30 years at work at least. The energy is different (a lot are egotistical arseholes too mind, so it's not all positive!)

This describes my DH, he is late 50s😂
My ex husband was well on the way to that before he was forty. Besides the grey pubes.

not point of thread but that is heart breaking.
sorry to hear that.
I think if it’s not hurting anyone and people are happy then why not.
too many sad lonely people in the world.

See part of me think, what can you have in common with a 80 year old but then I realized thats because its more than double my age.

I'm a 'millennial' actually get on really well and find gen X the 'sexiest' generation and they are between 10-20 years older than me in general. The kids born in the same generation but the decade after me feel like a whole other species, just a few years younger but they are into Anime, furies and stuff I literally dont understand. They have far more in common with my teenage son than me.

I think the pre-90s people have a lot in common because although things changed a bit it was nowhere near as rapid as the growth from 90s onwards. I would much rather date someone 20 years older than me than just say 2 or 3 years younger.

Do other people sometimes mistake you for father and daughter, and does that annoy you, or can you just laugh about it?

When l was in my early forties l went out with a lad half my age. A woman at a bus stop when we were on holiday said something to him about 'mum'.
It annoyed me a bit, to be honest, but l said "I'm not his mum. I'm his lover." 😄

errr....you must have led a sheltered life.

'Floats your boat' is common parlance.

😀😅 love your name lol

so… do you have sex?

@thebestinterest Answered above!

Oh I would take Kevin Costner as a lover in a heartbeat.

Kevin Costner is not 81.

He’s only 69..😂

Hasn't happened as far as I know - not to our faces anyway!

Are you exclusive?

How long have you been in a relationship?