I'm 51, my lover is 81 - AMA

[Gerontophile]

NC for this. I know MN as a whole has views on relationships with large age gaps so thought people might be interested. Or just curious.

Um sex by definition actually includes piv, it’s the very definition

That's incredibly homophobic.

Uncomfortable with consenting adults having sex? Don't make me laugh.

We are allowed to have differing opinions. If she was sleeping with a 20 year okd many would also be uncomfortable with that, try to respect others opinions , not only yours counts, and no one asked the op to start a thread on her sex life.

In this context of straight sex then clearly not.

Yes, I know it is that's why I mentioned it!

I've been a nurse for over 40 years so have seen many bodies close up, and these two chaps deserved special mention. Both now dead sadly, one from Covid.

Your opinion doesn't have to be respected, because it's unpleasant for no reason.

And unlike in the case of a young person with a mature adult, there's no peer imbalance.

Of course, if he developed a mental impairment it would be wrong for op to continue. But there's no upper age limit on sex. This consideration still applies to two 81 year olds who are at it.

I don't understand your problem with the situation at all

So a lesbian couple would say having sex is using tongues, mouths, hands and toys. Why is that different to a straight couple?

We are not talking about a gay couple the comment was in the context of this relationship and this thread only as part of a discussion.

Because they’re two completely different types of physical relationship.

One of my closest friends is in her mid 70s. Her partner is 20 years younger than her. They've been together over 20 years, and they're very happy (and still very 'active' from what she says!).
She actually writes books about sexuality, has done for years.
My first boyfriend was 12 years older than me. Then in my mid forties, l went out with someone half my age. Both were amazing.
I think it's more about the people/personalities in the relationship, and the situation, rather than their actual ages.

If you 2 are happy, who cares what anyone else thinks

This has been interesting and informative and I'd like to thank the OP for her candour.
It's unfortunate there was been some unpleasantness and certainly I don't blame her for leaving the thread.
(I'd like to think her partner was perhaps a cross between Nigel Havers and Harrison Ford -- he sounds lovely.)

I'm 32 my partner is 66, we've had a lot of comments made in the past, most common thing I get asked is "is he rich!"

If you're happy, you're happy, regardless of age.

I'm fascinated by age gap relationships, because I've always fancied men my own age.

If you were 71, would you date a man in his 50s? If not, why not?

And if you wouldn't date a man thirty years younger, for whatever reason, does it bother you that your man would happily date a 30 year younger woman and not care about those reasons?

(Hope that makes sense)

How was your relationship with your own father?

Why would you post on MN? You are obviously wanting a 'reaction'.

Of course you have to do what you feel is right for you. A friend of mine who is 66 met someone last year and got married quite quickly, to a 33 year old. A year later, the now 67 year old has been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and the great sex life they enjoyed is probably over.

33 and 66 is fine
43 and 76 is ok
53 and 86 hmmmm
63 and 96 nope
73 (still young and active for many) and 106 nah!

But ... wish you luck and happiness, for as long as it lasts. But as asked above, would you be in the long run if it means nursing him or her for many many years?

I’m sorry for all the awful comments you’ve received op. I hope you’re not too disheartened, but it sounds like you’re used to it! There’s a lot of ageism on here and shows how once you reach a certain age you’re not allowed to be a person anymore! You’re just ‘old’.

I wish you all the best.

But why are some of those find and some of those not? She’s already answered the question about nursing.

That’s not true and totally you have misunderstood, no one would say anything about a 70 year old and an 80 year old. Even a 65 year old and an 80 year old, it would be good for you.

The issue here is the 30 year age gap, and there are very few ages where folks would think it anything but discomfiting. 20 and 50 is the opposite example. It doesn’t mean people don’t think the 80 year old or the 20 year old are not people. It means it’s proactively starting a sexual relationship with this sort of age gap that they are struggling with.

"AMA?"

ok, I'll say what we're all thinking but afraid to ask. He has a lot of money right?

OP has already answered that she thinks they are both as well off as each other.

Think that was asked in the second or third post...

My late DH was 35 years older than me. We got used to the stares..
One day pre ds2 we were in a coffee shop having lunch and some old ladies sat next to us. They kept looking at us, nudging each other and whispering. DH noticed and winked at me... He leant forward and in a loud whisper said., "WHEN WILL YOUR HUSBAND BE HOME???" Intense twittering from next table...
I leant forward and replied equally loudly "IF WE GO NOW WE CAN HAVE TWO HOURS IN BED!!" Table next door went into meltdown... 😂 😂 😂
We finished our lunch got up and as we left DH turned and winked at the ladies who were doing passable goldfish out of water impressions...
DH had a wonderful sense of humour which I miss but thankfully ds2 has inherited it! ❤️

Good grief. The arrogance of you. That question has been asked and answered several times already. As if everyone was really just waiting for TownGown to turn up and say it like it is.

The issue here is the 30 year age gap, and there are very few ages where folks would think it anything but discomfiting

If both people are adults then it's really no-one else's business though.