I'm 51, my lover is 81 - AMA

[Gerontophile]

NC for this. I know MN as a whole has views on relationships with large age gaps so thought people might be interested. Or just curious.

I wouldn't fancy an elderly man with saggy man boobs, a belly , saggy bum, saggy balls, varicose veins, grey pubes.

This describes my DH, he is late 50s😂

I don't think the OP is expecting people to have any view in particular. This is AMA. It's an interesting topic because it's not a typical age gap/relationship, hence why people might want to ask questions.

This section is called AMA not Bitchy Comments For No Reason. The OP is not asking you to make the same choices as her. She thought people might be interested in her age gap relationship, and many of us are, and are capable of asking questions respectfully.

OP, does he have more ‘traditional’ attitudes towards women - opening doors, preference for defined men’s/women’s roles, etc.? And how does that work for you?

Tbf the average 51 year old bloke in the UK has saggy man boobs, a belly, grey pubes etc

It's not Mick Jagger is it?

Ooh, those are interesting questions. Yes, if I'm honest, the flattery probably is part of it, but I guess it works both ways and he's flattered too!

We socialise a lot and are accepted by friends (unless they're sniggering behind our backs, but so what if they are) so it doesn't feel taboo or novel. I don't think of him as an old man, I just think of him as Peter (not his name).

Op, this poster asks if he’s physically attractive. Can I ask. Do you feel you are? Do you have viable interest from decent men your own age, and you simply chose this man?

My parents both dropped dead (literally) in their early 60s, so no more than I worry about anyone else tbh.

No, I wouldn't have the energy! 😂

More with mine than his, but yes.

So, exactly how rich is he?

Why so confrontational? Jealous?

Does he still have his own teeth (genuine question, I have a “thing” about teeth!)

Thanks for the support @PieAndLattes .

I don't think he has a preference for defined roles as such, but he has a bit of an expectation, But his late wife (she died 15 years ago) was a bit of a trailblazer in her field, so he doesn't have a leg to stand on really!

Do you think he looks longer for his age, or acts younger?

What an unpleasant, patronising post. Says a lot more about you than the OP, @EggyBreadBrekkie [HMM]

How old are his sons? Don't you have more in common with them?

Yes, I do. I've been divorced for a decade and had/have plenty of interest (not necessarily always reciprocated, and I'm not saying it hasn't worked the other way round on occasion too). But this is definitely the relationship I want to be in.

What line of work was he in?

Does he have any hobbies?

Is there anything about him you’d change if you could?

He sounds a great guy btw.

Is it Kevin Costner?

When you say you have sex - are you able to have penetrative PIV sex with him?
If yes does that involve viagra or similar?

They're 55 and 52. Other than life experiences when growing up (oh - and musical taste!), I wouldn't say I have a great deal in common with either of them - we have different jobs, interests, lives. It's not a given that you have things in common just because you're close to someone in age.

About as rich as me, at a guess. I haven't asked to see his bank statements.

Yes we do, and yes, he does take Viagra. It makes things a little less spontaneous than I (and he) would sometimes like...but it definitely works!

Who made a play for who? Or was it mutual chemistry from the start?

Before you got together did you consider he might be a sexual partner or did the age difference mean you saw him differently?