Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AMA
Original poster

I'm God. AMA

299 replies

RealGod · 30/06/2018 18:02

Trying to be hip with the kids and the internet seems to be the main form of communication these days, beats carving shit into stone tombs anyday.

AMA.

Got about an hour before I gotta get back to work, got my main man Jegudiel manning the post right now.

OP posts:
RealJesus · 01/07/2018 10:57

Why don't you tell them what you did to the Martians dad?

TheRealJoseph · 01/07/2018 11:03

That's it! if you carry on like this, you'll be spending a few lifetimes working for your Uncle Lucifer.

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 01/07/2018 11:03

Are we heading in the right direction with string theory and how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

RealJesus · 01/07/2018 11:03

Who, ironically, didn't murder me to look good in front of the humans.

TheRealJoseph · 01/07/2018 11:05

Ok I'll give you that one.

Original poster
RealGod · 01/07/2018 14:57

You can try and pick apart the wonder of the universe. But you will never fully understand. It's another one of those head imploding situations. It's fun to see you all try though.

And the answer to the pin question is 234. We tried Christmas 1983.

OP posts:
gingergenius · 01/07/2018 15:25

@RealJesus mate, seriously these people are totally minimising your experience! Honestly, there's no shame in talking to someone about your abuse. It's appalling. Really feel for you. Have some Thanks

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 01/07/2018 15:32

Just one thing - can you move Jesus's birthday to maybe late January?

Rational -
Late January is boring and grim. We need something nice to cheer us up, like candles'n'fairy-lights
It usually snows which it rarely does in December , we need snow for Christmas
And .............the sales are on Xmas Grin

In the words of Jean-Luc Picard "Make It So"

Original poster
RealGod · 01/07/2018 16:23

70isa

Jesus was actually born in Spring.
If you look at the wordings, for example 'the Shepard watched their flocks by night that shows that itbwas lambing season, no way would the shapards stay with their flocks in December. The only watch them when lambs are due to help the sheep in emergency births.

The only reason his birthday is December 25th is because the Christains stole Pagans Yule tide as it was easier to take over a holiday rather than create a whole new one.

Can't do January though. We ski the whole month.

OP posts:
Original poster
RealGod · 01/07/2018 16:24

Excuse my spelling in that last post, God has had a cheeky drink in the sun GrinWine

OP posts:
brizzledrizzle · 01/07/2018 16:27

What did you think of the film The man who sued God?

Original poster
RealGod · 01/07/2018 16:34

I haven't seen it. I shall put it on my to watch list.

OP posts:
HerRoyalFattyness · 01/07/2018 16:41

God...random one here.
Whats the next stage in evolution?

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 01/07/2018 16:43

Do you favour one religion over others or do you offer an equal opportunities post-death experience?

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 01/07/2018 17:45

Hmmm . I'm not buying the Sheep/Shepherd theory there God. I mean , what else would they do except watch sheep?
There was no Love Island or Any Other Random Crap Telly.
Maybe it helped them sleep?

RealJesus · 01/07/2018 18:23

Dad, would you stop with the "shepherds watching baby lambs" crap already?

It didn't work the first 2018 times you forgot my birthday and won't work this year either.

@gingergenius you're a treasure. Here, take some blessings

RealJudas · 01/07/2018 18:36

Big J, ditch the olds, Matthew and Luke are having a pool party at their place.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 01/07/2018 18:40

God why don't you change how animals taste? If they all tasted like arse instead of being meaty and savoury, then there would be more vegetarians and vegans.

RealMaryMagdalene · 01/07/2018 18:52

@RealJudas

I'm always on your side, I tell everyone the way things really went down, asking you to be the fall guy because you were his most loyal friend. You got "traitor" for being his most trusted, I got "tramp" for, well, you've seen the Da Vinci code.

Why are you never on my side man, no invite to pool party? What happened to bestie for eternity, you boys are always leaving me out now, it hurts my heavenly feelings. Not too much, this place is bliss and pure joy, but give a girl a bit of love!

It's heaven at my place, come over!

RealJudas · 01/07/2018 18:57

Chillax Mags, I'll stop by your place on the way.

Goldenbug · 01/07/2018 19:14

Noswaith dda. Sut dych chi?

What's with all this war stuff? Why let all that go on?

What's your favourite hymm?

Do you really like all those good christians in Heaven? (Not the club). Or do you find them a bit 'goodie goodie'?

Sortofcool · 01/07/2018 19:29

You know how I asked a few pages back when my HA would redo the exterior paintwork? You haven’t answered and the only conclusion I can draw from this is that you are moonlighting for the HA on Sundays.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 01/07/2018 19:33

My DGrandad (good Christiam man, staunch Protestant born in 1901) refused to believe that animals went to heaven because they don't have souls.

He was fibbing wasn't he ? (in a highly Un Christian manner)

Thesearepearls · 01/07/2018 22:20

Where do you stand on the divine right of kings, God?

I mean is it so much nonsense to get the peasants into believing in their Kings

Or is it real

Only you know

HerRoyalFattyness · 01/07/2018 22:26

God? You there? You've not answered my question...
No wonder so many people are atheists if you just ignore them.