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AMA
Original poster

I'm God. AMA

299 replies

RealGod · 30/06/2018 18:02

Trying to be hip with the kids and the internet seems to be the main form of communication these days, beats carving shit into stone tombs anyday.

AMA.

Got about an hour before I gotta get back to work, got my main man Jegudiel manning the post right now.

OP posts:
RealJesus · 30/06/2018 21:41

if it isn't my favourite dad!

Turns out you were right about "that trollop from Magdala". Who knew.

titsbumfannythelot · 30/06/2018 21:42

Also. Do you agree that the sixth sense was absolutely shite?

OurMiracle1106 · 30/06/2018 21:44

Why did you take both my parents from me, my dad when I was just a baby and my mum at a point in my life when I needed her so badly?

How and when will I die? Is there heaven? Are my parents there? Are they proud of me?

TheRealJoseph · 30/06/2018 21:49

Don't mention her when your mam is around, you how She gets upset.

PlantsArePeopleToo · 30/06/2018 21:50

Be honest now God.

Am I a good person?

Ooopsijustsnarted · 30/06/2018 21:51

Can you make flies fuck off?

RealMaryMagdalene · 30/06/2018 21:51

Hey there @TheRealJoseph !

Oh, you know what he's like. In a strop with @TheRealGod for no reason, still not talking to poor Judas who really took one for the team! Plus, of course, he's still living with God.

You know what he' like when it comes to getting his own place, he'll push a giant stone down a hill to get out of a cave after three days, but he's not interested in leaving his father's house.

I know it has many mansions and all, but still.

That table you made for me is gorgeous, I've got fairy lights up and the cherubs love it, you must come over and see it all soon!

RealJesus · 30/06/2018 21:57

@OurMiracle1106 Thanks

This thread's pretty lighthearted but it sounds like you could do with an internet hug. Here's one from me to you.

RealMaryMagdalene · 30/06/2018 22:00

@OurMiracle1106 Flowers love and hugs from me too

TheRealJoseph · 30/06/2018 22:03

Well he knows there's always a place @ mine and I've left his room in the same way he left it:- a fucking mess. Grin.

BTW that shade of blue does suit you. Wink

TheRealJoseph · 30/06/2018 22:04

Hugs for ourMiracle Flowers & Gin

drspouse · 30/06/2018 22:05

Is it true you made children so cute when they're asleep so we wouldn't get so cross when they say your lovingly cooked meal is disgusting for the 75th time?

Also, do you have an amnesia inducing spray that you use when women give birth so they'll do it again?
I actually adopted twice and I think someone issued the social worker with some while doing the paperwork too.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 30/06/2018 22:08

Hi God. What's all this with my third nipple, especially as none of them are functional? Also, will DVSA at Swansea be operating after 6/9/19, because if not I can save over £200 not updating my DCPC?

RealJesus · 30/06/2018 22:09

Dad! What the hell?

This is the worst half-birthday ever!

ZenNudist · 30/06/2018 22:11

Why did Tom and Nicole divorce?

IrritableBitchSyndrome · 30/06/2018 22:15

Hi God, why is this thread not in classics yet?

RealMaryMagdalene · 30/06/2018 22:15

@drspouse on earth I spent time with little ones in orphanages who needed love and a home (whilst @TheRealJesus was milking it for all the attention with the lepers of course).

I know and love quite a few babies and little ones who went home one day to their families, I was even able to pass children to their parents on gotcha day and I have to say, adoption is the closest thing on earth I have ever seen to God

Even @TheRealJoseph , world's most famous adopt Dad, gets to make jokes about calling me a trollop with his son, because I know that the heart like that of a parent who adopts is a very special thing:)

RealMaryMagdalene · 30/06/2018 22:20

@ZenNudist

Oh don't mention the scientologists!

We're all together up here Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Buddhist and everywhere in between, all together and the same.

Other than the you know whos, @TheRealGod is a loving and forgiving God, but everyone draws a line somewhere. Last time someone mentioned them he flooded the earth.

RealJesus · 30/06/2018 22:21

DON'T MENTION THE YOU KNOW WHOS WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU

TheRealJoseph · 30/06/2018 22:22

Awww That's the Mary I know & love.

AiredaleFan · 30/06/2018 22:25

My washing's still on the line. Should I be concerned it's going to get darked on?

HistoriaTrixie · 30/06/2018 22:29

Your Godliness, I have a question about dogs. How come we can only keep them for 12 or 15 years? Why can't we keep them for 30 or more like horses which are also awesome? And WHYYYY do the big lovey ones die earliest?

Also can one of you please let my Grandad know I finally got my pilot's license a while back? I know he was worried.

MsXY · 30/06/2018 22:30

Jesus has Rockstar syndrome.

That Andrew Lloyd Webber chap has a lot to answer for.

gingergenius · 30/06/2018 22:41

Jesus I have a question for you (sorry God, hope that's ok?)
Were you REALLY nailed to the cross or was it just some very clever 'Hostel' style special effects and a lot of fake blood and moanjng? I can't believe a df would do that to his own ds Have you read the stately homes thread. It might help?

Original poster
RealGod · 30/06/2018 22:43

Titsbum. Princess Di is lovely, as is Marilyn.

My favourite residence right now is Robin Williams. He keeps the children smiling :)

OP posts: