I'm God. AMA

[RealGod]

Trying to be hip with the kids and the internet seems to be the main form of communication these days, beats carving shit into stone tombs anyday.

AMA.

Got about an hour before I gotta get back to work, got my main man Jegudiel manning the post right now.

Royal God has ignored my housing association repair question. I’m wondering if it’s coz I’m an atheist and that’s pissed him off? Either way, he’s every bit as bad as the HA when it comes to replying to questions.

sortof do you think maybe if we repent god will answer us?
Does it work if we just say we repent or do we actually have ti repent?
So many questions and no answers...

Thank you so much for starting this thread, OP. The endless AMA that have taken over this site in the last few days have been driving me mad - yours excepted of course (one might suspect a reddit invasion of trolls, but since troll hunting is not allowed, clearly they can't possibly be trolls).

Anyway, my question to you is "have you got a special circle of hell reserved for people - other than your good self, natch - who start AMA threads on MN? And if so, what punishment will you be getting your infernal counterpart to dole out to them?"

Royal. I’m totally ok with repenting if it results in repainting 😀. Yep we should definitely say we repent and see if we get an answer then. Not a lot to lose really.

Whose idea was it to create the wasp and why?
There has to be a back story.

Wait, we released the wasps?

Yep Jesus. You were supposed to have suffered on that cross so that we don't suffer yet millions of us are tortured by wasps every day.

I wondered how it felt to be a figment of people's imagination. Why have so many horrendous things happened in the name of religion and do you agree that the world would be a better place without religion?

Obviously you can't answer since you don't exist :P

Bugger.

But we didn't release the Xenomorphs did we? (Shit, did we?)

God....
I repent...for my sins...

Now can i have an answer?

@RealGod please don't tell me (opinion gleaned from your use of the word Xebomorph) that you allowed the unleashing of the abomination known as 'Alien Prometheus'

If so, @RealJesus you have my sympathy dude. LTB and whole you're at it, give him this

Xenomorph

That's how upset I am. DONT JUDGE ME

Royal I see you repented. No answer yet though. That’s disappointing. Am holding on and if you get an answer I will repent also.

sortof i feel god has abandoned me in my hour of need. I may have to turn to the devil instead...

God has foresaken us!

God has sent me as her official representative ;)

To say she will be back after lunch

PSA God is in fact a lesbian atheist

Welcome to my childhood HRF

See what happens when he gets bored with you?

Bam. Gone.

jesus for you. You clearly had a very difficult time.

jesus flowers for you. You clearly had a very difficult time.

He has every right to be cross.

Well I finally have the proof that god and my HA have the same ansaphone message “no one is in the office at the moment. Please leave a message and we will (but don’t hold your breath here) get back to you.” Hopeless.

Sorry. I got bored. Didn't expect there to be so many replies !

“You got bored” Not as bored as I am waiting for the HA to get in touch re the knackered exterior paintwork I can tell you. Bored!!!!

I bet the real real God got bored too.

Full of the best intentions, the real real God allegedly told us early on we could just whistle and he'd answer our questions/guide us as required. But then came the grinding tedium of responding to a herd of witless mortals with their petty concerns and irritating requests for simple-minded explanations.

So God decided to go off grid until human beings had staggered ineptly into self-imposed extinction.

Out with... I'm guessing that exactly what happened.

God is sat somewhere with headphones in ignoring all the pleas for lottery numbers and venagance on ex's.