Poncetastic Christmas 2018

[VivaJen]

I know we have the "Any Ponces Around?" thread but in honour of Fellatio Nelson here is the 2018 Poncetastic Thread.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

[Christmasplanner]

I'm ready to up my Christmas game this year, I think this is the right place for some inspiration :)

[UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername]

Woo hoo! I have my orange and apple slices shrivelled already. I have mincemeat, apple brandy and winter spice jelly tucked on my pantry shelf. And I've bought a 10m length of red crushed velvet ribbon ready to wrap around my stairs garland; I felt it was missing something last year.

I need to have a think about how to poncify the dinner table sufficiently while still fitting plates. We've 8 around it this year and there won't be a spare inch. I might have to hang a load of greenery from the lights above, rather than trying to fit it on the table. Off to Pinterest I go (again!)...

[BiddyPop]

I am always a Poncing Wannabe, but have little time to do the plans in my head.

I DO the turkey dinner from scratch (we use bisto powder - NOT granules - mixed with real HM turkey stock, turkey juices and wine for the gravy, for example). DH makes the sausage meat stuffing.

I'd love to learn to make Hasselback potatoes.

But I have broccoli growing in the garden (I hope!) and French beans frozen for the Christmas table - I can't grow as much since I gave up the allotment as the back garden is twincy tiny.

There may be sloe gin this year - if I get to the right hedge on time (it's near DPILs - about 3 hours from us).

DD's advent calendar is one stitched by DM but there are a number of small felt stockings on my tree that I made.

I have been watching lots of tutorials though for new ideas - I'm focused on more "put together" decorating, flower arranging, making my own wreath and baking (and decorating) cakes and cookies.

(I did buy a bag of dried orange slices last year - I just didn't get time to use them, so they will come out again this year). And I am thinking about garlands going up the stairs this year too....if DH will let me away with that!

[VivaJen]

@BiddyPop I have a hard time believing that you are a Poncing Wannabe, your lists are always amazing!

I have made the mincemeat (first time), got the sloes in the gin (although I have been told that I should wait until Christmas 2019 for that), everything is ready for making the pudding and will be soaking tonight. I'm really swithering about making my cake. I love making it and the smell that fills the house, but last year I didn't get round to decorating it.

Poncing goals this year are to finally make my own wreath and I would love to have a real garland round the fireplace, at the moment I have an artificial one which is lovely (and I ponced it up with some dried orange slices and cinnamon sticks) but a real one would be great.

Last year the gift wrap was tres poncey and I want to do that again this year, I found a copy of the Jane Means book which had some great ideas and I've been pinning ideas all year.

[starryeyedsnowgirl]

It's time, it's time!!!

Woohoo!

At the moment I am focussed on food and getting presents sorted (the basics!) Since I am due DC3 just after new year I want to be prepared if anything goes early. Would love to do something with all the holly in the garden this Year- I fancy a wreath, but is seems a bit prickly.

Going to Costco in the next few days so will look out for supplies to make sausage rolls and cheese and bacon palmiers to freeze.

[Alanamackree]

I wonder how Fellatio is doing these days. If you’re lurking know that you’re very much missed, especially on this thread.

[NoWordForFluffy]

Checking in!

One of my cross stitch kits arrived today, so I’ll need to crack on with that soon. Especially if I’m to get two done!

Other than that, it will mostly be food poncing here. The mincemeat was done ages ago, but I need to check my recipes to see which of the things I’ve earmarked to make can be done in advance. That will mean finding room in the freezer though. Tricky!

[Upslidedown]

Haven't been on Mumsnet for a few years and came back for this thread. No idea what my name used to be but I love Christmas so much I had a Christmas wedding (with a LOT of support from fellow festive poncers).

We're pulling up our manky carpet and laying hard floors in time for Christmas so I plan to get my full ponce on. Never had a real tree but I'm feeling the pull. At the moment I have vague plans of everything on the tree (except the lights) being home made/personalised. In my head it doesn't seem too difficult - I have pictures but as a new poster can't share them yet.

I particularly want to buy some gin baubles and fill them with a cocktail to have with nibbles before Christmas lunch.

[Peridot1]

Happy Poncetastic thread everyone!

I haven’t really done anything for Xmas yet this year. I think MIL will come to stay for Xmas and I hope my sis, BIL, niece and nephew will come for new year.

DH has requested a Xmas cake so I will do one. Didn’t last year missed it.

Might also make mincemeat. I’m rubbish at pastry though so will be buying that!

Like the sound of the chocolate and cherry pudding mentioned on the pre poncing thread.

I added to my Pinterest boards yesterday. Looking for ideas of stuff to hang above the table. We have three pendant lights and I normally just put a gold tinsel type thing above th table wrapped around the cables of the lights. Hard to describe! Have seen some lovely ideas on Pinterest but need to figure out practicalities.

How do people hang stuff from the ceiling? I don’t want holes in it. DH would not be impressed. Don’t want anything heavy attached to the light fittings.

We got rid of our dining room this year - it’s now an office - so need to rethink some of our usual Xmas decor. Don’t need to do so much in that room although DH said he wants a tree.

[HairsprayBabe]

Hello hello
I am once again poncing, Christmas hampers, poncy décor some poncetastic block printed scarves are on the list for this year!

Need to get cracking with the hampers as so far have not done anything but it has been a very busy year! I

[UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername]

I have three pendant lights above the table too, and no idea what to do with them! I've browsed Pinterest for hours but haven't managed to narrow it down at all.

[Rufusthebewilderedreindeer]

Going to lurk

But im on two missions this year...one is to ponce up my dining room table

And the other is to find a wooden advent calendar big enough for individual tealights

[SpikyCactus]

I was always under the impression that the word “ponce” referred to an effeminate man?

[Rufusthebewilderedreindeer]

spiky

I thought it was a pimp originally

[Peridot1]

It can and does mean that. To ponce something up can also mean to make it a bit fancy. A bit like pimp my ride!

Sorry if you are offended Charlottesshoezzzz - it is light hearted and has been around in MN for years. It doesn’t mean we don’t have respect. You can joke about something whilst still have respect for it.

Maybe we need another description?

But it’s always been the Poncetastic thread.

[Upslidedown]

Has anyone read the Shitty homemade Christmas gifts thread?

It's made me want to make candied cranberries to adorn my puddings and cheeseboard.

[pumkinspicetime]

Right I'm not working this year, everyone is settled and I have no excuse not to have the most poncetastic xmas ever. Judging by last year I cannot buy xmas cake, mincemeat or sausage rolls in my area so I am going to have to start getting baking.

[PeggyIsInTheNarrative]

It's from poncey - pretentious or affected / ostentatious

[NoWordForFluffy]

I've started my first cross stitch tonight. May not get two done before Christmas, kind you!

[NoWordForFluffy]

Mind you. Bloody autocorrect.

[NotTheMrMenAgain]

Christmas pompom collars with jingle bells on for all the hounds in the family this year - not sure I can top last year's dog biscuit wreaths though! Making various things out of felt - gone a bit felt mad......

[PipersOrange]

Hi all! First time attempting this though have lurked for a few years. Please can someone share a mincemeat recipe!? Also Pinterest boards, I need guidance of where to start, does anyone here have one?

[NoWordForFluffy]

Delia's mincemeat

This one is very simple and tasty too.

[HairsprayBabe]

Shorter list than pervious years.... but will be making 10 hampers filled with:

Pear and Ginger Jam
Christmas Morning Jelly
Plum Chutney
Chilly Jelly
Peppermint Bark
Fruit and Nut Bark
Coffee Fudge
Vanilla Fudge
Smokey BBQ Nuts
Mexican Cocoa Nuts
Vanilla Vodka
Lebkuchen
Nut brittle