Poncetastic Christmas 2018

[VivaJen]

I know we have the "Any Ponces Around?" thread but in honour of Fellatio Nelson here is the 2018 Poncetastic Thread.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

I’ve just put the fruit for my cake in to soak this evening and had to pop out to Morrison’s as DS4 seems to have discovered the dried fruit stash ..... only to get lectured by the cashier on how late I was leaving it and how I should have had it done in November ! Listen love , when you’re working nearly 80 hrs a week , and you haven’t had an oven for 5 weeks , it’ll get done when I can ! Plan on making up for my tardiness by having massive baking session tomorrow in my new shiny oven though .

Nah the cashier is talking out of her xxxx If you soak the fruit BEFORE cooking for one or 2 nights it'll be lovely!

Also if Delia Smith has a recipe in her Xmas book for Last Minute Christmas Cake then you know it's ok!!!!

Re the earlier question about veggie canapés instead of smoked salmon blinis put some blue cheese with a walnut on top - et voila!

Ref. Kirstie's Christmas Programme was anyone surprised that the tree which won the competition was the one covered in sweets?! The origami one was sooo clever! I did like the gourd that won the contest yesterday though.

Saw this pic of Nigella and it made me think of this thread 😁🎄✨ getting our tree today 😆😆😆

I always wonder about Nigella's lack of a pinafore, she MUST get food down herself (and she wears some very pretty clothes) when she cooks unless she's superhuman!

I made orange flavoured dulce de leche yesterday, it took ten hours in the slow cooker and was a bit like magic.

Recipe please or it didn't happen 😋

Drooling just at the thought of that!!

This worked smoothly.

So it's just cooked in a Bain Marie, effectively?

Who knew?!! Definitely making this!

Almost completed my cross stitch. Just need to sew the larger one to its backing so it's taut and they're done. So many hours' work!

Beautiful, Fluffy!

That is lovely Fluffy. I went to print more wrapping paper today but my potato print spud had grown fur and oh had eaten all the others so I put the tree up instead.

Yes missmarple they can be done with a water bath and foil in the oven as well.
Lovely work fluffy

Oh no, Rain. How frustrating that your potato had given up the ghost!

I'm quite pleased with the end result of the cross stitch. It's quite soothing doing it too.

It looks lovely Fluffy You're so clever and patient

I think with potato printing you have to start new each time , they go soggy.

I'm looking at our old (never used) wrapping paper and wondering what to do with it. I suppose I could make gift bags with it, any one got any ideas? , TV Kirstie's idea was too much for me!!

Ppeat of course Nigella is superhuman!

Oh fluffy, those are lovely! I harbour ambitions to have a beautiful embroidered table runner for Christmas one day!

Smiled Mind you, her nocturnal visits to the fridge aren't They're very human

I think I'd have to start now for Christmas 2020 if I was to do a full sized runner, MissMarples!

Catching up on the thread some gorgeous things on here. The cross stitch is beautiful Fluffy.

I've gone a bit off piste with my Christmas cake this year. I used Mary Berry's recipe as usual, but chucked in some stem ginger (the crystallised kind) and am using green ginger wine as the booze. I fear it might be too sweet (if that's possible for Christmas cake) but am going to do a slightly lemon-y icing to try and balance it a bit. A bit worried though!

Are you allowed to be sweary and poncetastic? I am still obsessing over my bloody starter. I have decided to ignore the non fish eaters for a minute and want to make scallops on cauliflower puree with pancetta.

I have made this several times and its lovely. I can make the puree in advance and freeze, also the chive oil. The scallops only take a few minutes to cook and the whole thing is delicious and looks truly poncey.

However I have never done a sit down starter on Christmas day and I am worried about the timings of everything else any advice?

I LOVE ginger, that sounds very nice Private I never put extra sugar in my cake (apart from the molasses\treacle of course) . I don't make it any more no one eats it . I make ginger choclolate brownies instead!!

Oooh just got bit of Christmas feeling typing this and Mcartney' s wonderful christmas time is on the radio !!!

Tooty It's not my thread but I get what you mean. We don't usually cook our starter (have a salmon mousse or something that can be cooked in advance or served cold like caviare or foie gras) unless a dh or a child does it (they're adults btw!)

Sorry that sounds like I've got more than one dh !!! I haven't !!!

My dh and I used some pallet wood and made these wood Christmas trees today- ready to paint on Wednesday.

I have a confession - I forgot about my pudding fruit! Which has been soaking in sherry for three weeks- if I make the pud tomorrow will it be okay for Christmas?