My BF has the opposite of a foot fetish. He really hates feet. I've never seen anything like it. I feel fairly ambivilent about feet. I wouldn't go out of my way to touch anyone's foot, but would do what needs doing to help most people. In fact I did trim BF's nail when we were on holiday, a sharp edge was causing some bleeding on the adajcent toe and we didn't really have the correct implement, so it was awkard for him to do. I didn't love or hate it, it was just something that needed doing to solve a problem.

My Dad has just called because he needs his toe nails trimming. He's old and immobile and what he was actually asking was if I'm available to give him a lift to the chiropodist. BF thought he was asking me to do it and absoultely completely horrified. The only reason I wouldn't is because of Dad's condition, it's important not to get it wrong.

Yes I know we could find a mobile chirpodist. That's a battle for another day 🤣

I work in the public sector. I am at pay level X.

I am being asked to do more and more at pay level Y. Pay level Y is higher than mine.

It’s getting to the that more of my working week is being spent picking up these responsibilities than doing my own work, and it’s starting to become a lot. I have been told that my job description was amended to say that I’d pick up these responsibilities when required, but that there was a consideration that after a period of time, I’d be moved up a pay level.

It’s not happening, I’ve been waiting for months for the confirmation and I’m being told it’s not progressing very fast. AIBU to join a union regarding this because I just feel exhausted each day. The actual pay difference isn’t much, but the higher pay level comes with the opportunity for your pay to progress, quite substantially, when you’ve been there for a certain period of time. I’m missing out on that at the moment and I feel a bit burnt out.

Would you guys agree that this situation is weird or AIBU?

My mum provides childcare for my 5yo DD and has done since I went back to work when she was 2yo. From when I got pregnant my mum offered to take care of DD so we agreed an arrangement and I pay her 500 per month to take care of her 3 days a week. Most days she picks her up before 9am drops her to school and then collects her at 2 and watches her in my house until I finish work at 5pm (i work from home). On school holidays she has her for the full day 3 days a week. They have a lovely relationship and my mum is great with my daughter.
For the first 2 years everything was great in fact I would say my mum went above and beyond she would have the house spotless, while still taking care of a crazy toddler. However in the last year things have drastically changed my mum no longer does anything other than babysit so even though I tidy up all the breakfast stuff on my lunch break by the time I finish work at 5 the house is absolutely upside down. My daughter is 5 and is good to put things away but needs to be reminded, my mum obviously isn't reminding her as there will be lego and magnatiles strewn throughout the house along with pages of colouring and soft toys. Often my DDs school uniform will be left on the floor collecting dog hair and any snacks/drinks/coffee cups etc will just be left on the coffee table instead of being put into the dishwasher. My mums own house is immaculate and she is extremely fit she just completed her 2nd half marathon (so its not a lack of energy thing) . I find it hard to start even cooking dinner because of the mess all over the countertops. I don't know what changed and my mum is not someone who you you can talk to about these things so i wouldn't bring it up with her. I don't expect her to be a full time cleaner but even just tidy up a little bit by putting the used dishes in the dishwasher! Or am I being a spoiled brat?

Is it eczema? Nothing helps, nothing. Doctors have prescribed different steroid creams/antibiotic creams and nothing makes a difference. Using washing up gloves doesn’t make a difference. I get these horrible little cuts and they’re so painful! Always itchy and stingy. Any ideas ?!

My mum has offended my aunties, not purposely but she has upset them. They blocked her and myself and my siblings and all our cousins have cut us out too. I tried reaching out in various ways, I wrote a letter too. I don’t see why we are being ignored when my mum’s at fault, we’re all adults. What do I do? I don’t think this will sort its self easily but I’ve really tried. If only they had tried to talk to us first.

Recently had blood tests and though haemoglobin fine MCH, MCHC and ferritin were out of range (below). Ferritin is 12. Had a message from GP for telephone appointment on 22nd May.

Thing is I feel like utter shite. I'm carer to a young child with complex needs and really struggling.

AIBU to request an appointment sooner?

What luxury or good quality items have you received or bought for yourself that you think stand the test of time and bring you joy?

Big birthday coming up so I plan to drop heavy hints to DH and also treat myself over the course of the year.

These can be wearable items or home goods and gadgets. They can be expensive (up to low thousands) or much less.

They can be items that finally made you feel like a grown up but that bring you a rush of wonder when you use them.

I’m after quality or beauty or practicality rather than anything super fashionable.

Sadly budget won’t stretch to car or holiday home! And I don’t have the capacity for more pets. I’m good at coming up with experiences gifts so it’s just cold, hard, material goods I’m after!

We moved energy provider recently due to years of appalling customer service.

Now the old provider have sent me their estimated final bill on Thursday 16/04 (we have paid most of it already but as they needed final readings from us we didn’t know exactly what the final amount due would be). They gave us a final date for this to be paid of 06/05.

Today we made a substantial payment and I have received both a text message and email, with my customer details included from a debt collector!!!! NB I am NOT in debt and never have been, ever.

Have raised a complaint with them today via social media.

Is this a GDPR breach as they have passed on my details and already admitted this should not have happened at this stage! I’m fuming!

Wedding in August. Garden wedding, not going to be huge but one half is Irish.

I'm planning on wearing some gold block heels (no stilettos becuase of the garden).

The dress code is BOLD. Now, I'm more of a classic wedding guest dresser so this has thrown me a bit.

I'm 5'4'', blonde balayage hair, blue eyes (do not suit purples, yellows or orange). Late 30's, size 12-14 with a bit of a mum-tum.

I have ordered this jumpsuit but I don't love it - very heavy polyester which might not be great in August: https://www.nobodyschild.com/products/nc-x-lisou-pink-crepe-one-shoulder-jay-draped-jumpsuit-p255571pnk?_gl=15643js_upMQ.._gs*MQ..&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgr_NBhDFARIsAHiUWr4LtMTBA6jYu3cfM27m_iEhgVf8WFMb3aHtg4MEN0RaQE522HBYUqkaAjP_EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds&gbraid=0AAAAADQCJIUMRZZKn5E7qngOHFvwhROfq

There is also a part of me that's considering turning myself into a human disco ball:

Option 1: https://www.asos.com/arrange/arrange-disc-sequin-halter-trapeze-maxi-dress-in-lilac/prd/209489937#ctaref-product_share_native

Option 2: https://www.asos.com/arrange/arrange-embellished-sequin-cami-midi-dress-with-full-skirt-in-soft-pink/prd/209554508#ctaref-product_share_native

I know some people hate dress codes, but they are such a fun couple that I really want to do the dress code proud and have some fun.

I can't believe that this happened. It's like a bad film cliche. But last night when DH and I were having sex, he said my sister's name!
I know it sounds like something out of EastEnders but it genuinely happened, and I have had a sleepless night as a result.
I challenged him on it, and then that made it worse because at first he denied it and then said it was a joke.
I thought our marriage was fine. I love my sister. I have a good relationship with her (I think). There has never been any suspicion of my DH in any way let alone with her.

I have changed my name for this thread because I know she uses Mumsnet sometimes. I don't know what to do. It could genuinely have been a joke of his. Or, horribly, a fantasy of some kind. Or obviously the worst possible scenario (which would ruin my life).

Should I mention it to my sister? Mention it to him again? Let it drop?

It feels like Universal Credit doesn’t really leave much room for saving once basic living costs are covered. I know in theory people say to put even small amounts aside but in practice it seems very difficult when most of the money goes on essentials.

AIBU to think there’s very little opportunity to build savings on UC?

Hi

Really need help in loosing my mind on a certain corner of my hallway were doing it up and I've created some images of what it will look like when finished a d I'll post all photos of what it will look like when finished however it's the image with the coat hooks that I don't know what to put at the bottom as I have tried finding a console table or shoe bench but as it's only 50cm on the wall under the shopping bag I have to have a custom made one and there expensive and I just don't know what to put there?

My decor style is Cosy Cotswolds country with a refined elegant twist

My friend and I agreed to go on holiday together in May half term. It's me & my teenager, and her & her three children aged between 11 and 16.

I booked it, and she was meant to give me half of the money. The final date for payment came and she said she didn't have it, so I paid it on the understanding she would pay me back.

She's now saying she won't be able to afford their train tickets if she has to pay me, too. Neither of us drive, so we holiday in coastal towns with good links.

I'm in a better financial position than her, but I still have to work and save to afford holidays. I don't mind subsidising her by paying more than my share, but feel like excpecting me to pay the whole lot is taking the piss.

Would IBU to tell her they can't come if she doesn'tpay at least some of the cost? It feels mean, but equally I don't want to be a doormat.

America's very own mad king.
Oh, the irony.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ERYukmba5Vg

Previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5518997-schrodingers-strait-trump-thread-162a?page=1

Husband and I loaned another couple a significant amount of money as if we didn't their dream home would have fallen through. All properly drawn up, and to be fair was for a short period of time as in just under 3 months.

All paid back two weeks ago as agreed (no interest by the way as it might matter) and friend text saying we want to take you our to dinner to say thanks.

Didn't expect or want that, but lovely gesture.

Went to a very nice place Saturday and other husband said to my husband I'll get the food and you get the wine/drinks. Now to put into context the wine/drinks were about 35% of the bill so other couple paid 65%.

Now it's not the money, and it was a lovely evening, and I would never mention to my friend, but is that a bit cheeky?

I have a manager who has a habit of creeping up very quietly behind me and other colleagues as we're working, then saying whatever he wants to say once he's very close. He seems to think it's amusing and gets a kick out of it if he startles people.

I usually have my laptop positioned so I can see him approaching, but he has startled my colleague and when she's kind of laughed it off he's said 'ah yes I've been told I can move very quietly... I'd make a good cat burglar' or something to that effect.

Today he came from another angle so I didn't see him, but I sensed him and didn't give him the satisfaction of jumping.

There are a lot of other issues with him and I wonder how long he's got in the organisation but this is one particular habit of his that genuinely creeps me out.

How do I deal with this in a way that doesn't make me look bad or gets him offside (he's spiteful.) I could go to HR, or I could bring it up with him, but I feel like it's something that is better dealt with in the moment, a blunt statement that makes him realise he's being inappropriate so he thinks twice about doing it again.

I love live music and frequently attend concerts and have been utterly baffled in recent years that people behave as they would in the cinema - plonked on their backside, mutely watching. For me it’s all about the immersive experience - dancing, screaming, swaying, singing, waving my arms… But not only are more people staying seated, but I’m actually seeing discourse where people such as myself are being criticised for acting exactly like a typical concert goer - singing and standing.

I went to a show last night and noticed this little note on my e-ticket “People around you may stand!” though I think it should go without saying, finally some sense is prevailing and those whingers can keep schtum now (which they advocate for at gigs anyway 😂).

Disclaimer: I know people will pile on saying that not everyone can stand, and no they can’t and I understand that. I’d support if they wanted to have a section where people stay seated if there’s demand for it. However, I have observed a change in behaviour that is out of proportion even when considering that.

Hi all, so my son is 27, he is living with us for 4 weeks while he is between rentals. We aren’t charging him any rent, but he is getting his own food etc.
This is the first time DS has spent any extended amount of time at home since he left for uni, between uni years he was often away travelling and then he got his own place.

Here is the issue we are only 2 weeks in, on Monday and Friday I don’t work and DS happens to work from home. I tend to go into town during the day but I don’t have a set list of things to do or activities, I may meet a friend, I might just nip to the shops, I might sit in the park for a while. I often don’t know until I’m actually out and about.

Now on 3 of the 4 Mondays and Fridays he’s been here, I’ve come home each time either to a girl in the house just leaving or on the last 2 to him having … let’s say very loud bedroom activities.
Im not a prude I don’t expect him to never have sex of course but I do think there should be some respect for days where I’m likely to be home and around, and the volume. Not to mention he probably shouldn’t be having girls round while he is meant to be working anyway!

Last night he had a girl over in the afternoon, I came home and was subjected to a fairly long period of them being quite noises. I debated knocking on the door but I didn’t want to embarrass him so I just put the TV on rather loud and tried to ignore it. Afterwards he and this girl spent some time in his room before going out for dinner I assume, he didn’t get back until very late.

This morning before he left for work I mentioned to him, that I would appreciate it if he kept the volume down in the future and was considerate of the fact I would be in and out of the house unpredictably on Mondays and Fridays. He told me he was sorry and seemed quiet and embarrassed. He’s now text me saying he feels I overreacted and he doesn’t feel comfortable coming back so he’s just going to stay with a friend for the last couple of weeks. DH agrees I overreacted and I’d have been better not to say anything since it’s just a 2 more weeks.

Was I unreasonable to mention it? I don’t feel I overreacted? Should I apologise?

Has anyone had microbladed eyebrows removed? I had microblading done on Tuesday, and the brows are odd - one higher, arched, thin and light. The other is short, curved, dark and diferent altogether. I rang the salon the next morning and spoke with the woman who did it (she owns the salon). After a great deal of hostility from her, she asked me to go tomorrow morning ao that she can "sort it out". Googling it, it seems that the best method would be lasering, but I'm worried.

Recently completed a loft conversion, and bedroom is now on the 2nd floor, after 15 years of marital bliss in a 1st floor bedroom. The bedroom is lovely and we finally have an ensuite so no longer have to share a bathroom with 2 DDs and their endless collection of hair bands, unclosed toothpaste tubes, shampoo spillages and the rest.

Only problem is its now 2 flights of stairs down in the morning to make a cuppa, and 2 flights back up again to drink it in bed. We're a week in and I'm over it.

I want to get a kettle and a mini fridge in the bedroom, so tea can be made without dealing with any stairs at all. OH thinks this is unnecessary and will add clutter and damp to the bedroom. But then again, OH only makes the morning tea about once a fortnight and would basically cease to function if I wasn't getting up every day to make the tea.

Who is right?

Firstly, I apologise for how long this is but i feel it necessary so you all get a picture of how desperate this situation is.

DP of 7yrs is slowly killing himself. He was diagnosed with fibro about 3yrs ago & hasn't worked since. He is also T2 diabetic (insulin 4 times a day) but his diet is absolutely woeful. His weight has slowly crept up and is now out of control.

Mcdonalds every day (and it's not just a cheeseburger it's a large meal with a fizzy drink, 6 nuggets or he will order 5 chicken mayos)
Huge bowl of crunch nut cornflakes every morning for breakfast with whole milk
Hardly ever drinks water & can easily drink 2ltrs of pepsi max in a day if not more
Huge portions of whatever he eats. He will get two of whatever he fancies from Greggs (2 steak bakes, 2 sausage rolls & 2 doughnuts ect) or order 5 separate dishes from the Chinese / Indian excluding the rice / chips / poppadoms that he has to have of course. Whatever he doesn't eat he has for breakfast the same day.
He has take aways 4 out of the 7 days. I always make food at home and he will have that too.
Has sleep apnea but refuses to where his masks as he doesn't like it (another reason I sleep with my son also)
Eats copius amounts of sweets & chocolate with reckless abandon
Falls asleep throughout the day

Always moaning his body/ kidneys hurt and is constantly tired
Refuses to change his diet
Never walks anywhere, always drives. We live exactly 5 doors away from our GP surgery and he still drives there.
Has an excuse or reason for everything.

Hasn't got up with our son in about 2.5yrs. I sleep with him as he is on the autism pathway & climbs on the windowsill / headboard and i'm scared he will get tangled in the curtains or unlock the window and escape (ground floor flat but next to a very very busy road) so it's safer for him to sleep with me until we can afford to make the room my DP sleeps in safe for DS to sleep in after a OT assessment which is due in May.
He lays in bed till gone 8 or 9am (ds can decide to be up for the day at 3am/4am and not sleep again until around 1pm)
He will occasionally hoover or wash up
Never cooks. If he can't stick it in the microwave or airfryer he won't do it all house work, cooking & laundry falls on me.

I could live again with the breath I waste on him asking, begging and pleading for him to look after himself. As I said our 3yr old is on the autism pathway, he is a runner, no sense of danger and just runs and runs and runs until he is caught and he will never be able to run after him if he ever breaks loose from his harness. I don't know what to do, nothing I say sinks in. I am thinking of leaving as we are dictated by him what outings we do as he cannot walk far at all without sweat pouring out of him & he has to rest every 5/10mins and it's infuriating. I wanted to go to the seaside and zoo soon (separate days) but he wants to hire a mobilty scooter to use both visits and it's instantly put me off going.
I love walking and being outside (i can drive just hate it especially in London) and DS loves being outside too.

We can't even think of going on holiday abroad or uk due to his size and mobilty. He got weighed at Boots 3 days ago and is almost 27st & he is only 5'9 he doesn't even try and help himself.
He's 35 & i'm scared he won't see 40 the way he is going. His pip & esa never lasts as goes on his huge food consumption & petrol so i pay for 90% of bills, food shopping, clothes for ds and whatever else he may need.
So sorry this is so long, both my parents died when before I was 20 & I have no siblings / auntys/ friends to confide in.

I have a few pairs that I bought a couple of years ago and I can’t find white ones anywhere. I previously bought them in M&S and Next but they only do black or nude or a multi pack of mixed colours. I just want white ones, no lace or bows. High leg preferably.

Has anyone any suggestions? Thanks.

I (F, 40) have been married (M, 41) for 10 years. Over the years, my husband has grown to dislike my sister immensely. She can stir the pot a little, be a little intense and sniggers over things that aren’t really funny, i.e. one of our children misbehaving.
She left her ex husband for another guy and their divorce was quite messy, and she exaggerated how her ex was unsafe and unstable towards her and the children, so he wasn’t allowed to see them much.
Despite all of this, she’s my sister and I see her regularly.
However, my husband is fiercely principled and will not spend any time with her. This is causing a lot of issues between us, and I feel really sad that he can’t just ‘get on with it’ and be in the same room as her a few times a year.
We have recently been invited to a wedding, and her and her partner will be there. My husband is refusing to go, and I feel really let down about it, and struggling to understand why he won’t come for my sake. I have to keep making excuses for him, and it’s left me questioning his love for me, and our marriage.
AIBU?

I wrote a book, and I'm having a book launch, and I've realised I have nothing suitable to wear. It's an evening event - a stand-up drinks party sort of thing - and I'd like something elegant, but that once on, I don't have to think about.

I'm 5' 4' and a size 10 ish but I don't have lovely slim arms or legs, though they are toned. I do have a neat bust and waist and a flat stomach - but with curves rather than straight up and down. I'm mid-40s, and prone to sudden moments of being so hot I can't breathe, which is exacerbated by anxiety - which this event is likely to provoke (what if everyone hates the book, etc.)

My wardrobe is full of very beautiful dresses by Erdem/ Diane von F - but they're all from my 20s and, now, look a bit Princess of Wales around the time of her engagement. They also all require heels - which I've got - but having not worn them in about 15 years I don't think I can stand up in any of them for 2 hours.

I think I want something long (my ankles are very not good) and fitted around the top half of my body, long sleeved, and navy or black in a natural material. My budget could go up to £300-ish. The town I live in only has an H&M and an M&S. If anyone has any ideas as to where I could go online (I tried googling and everything it came up with looked nylon - or I couldn't wear a bra with it because it was backless - or it has a massive slit up one side.) I am in London between now and then for work, so could also look there.

The alternative could be a really lovely and quite dressy black top? (Not too hot!) I've got a long line in silk maxi skirts I could pair it with.

Oh - whatever it is also needs to photograph well without my having to think about angles.

Also - I haven't changed how I do my make-up since my 20s! Which is the best make-up bar to go to for a refresher?

And THANK YOU!

Hey! First time poster 🙃 I just wondered if anyone can relate, I chose to give birth to my first son via planned c section as he was measuring big and there was a worry of shoulder dystocia. I had gallstones whilst pregnant (I had attacks every two weeks where I thought I was dying but told it was heartburn) subsequently had them taken out 3 months pp and then had sepsis 7 months pp.

Flash forward 3 years I chose to have another elective for DS2. It was a wonderful positive birth and I loved it but I can’t shake the feeling I made a mistake? I feel like I’m grieving a birth I never had, I’ve never felt a contraction but ultimately all is well so why am I crying everyday? I feel like I chose an elective section with no medical reason but ultimately it was down to health anxiety? I just feel like I can’t remember why I made the decision.

Rambled on a bit but curious if anyone can relate at all.