Ex applied to deduct travel costs from child maintenance

[greentent86]

AIBU to be pissed, even though I know it’s technically allowed?

I live where I always have, with our child. I have never moved.

Ex lives a significant distance away now, his choice.

Has had sporadic involvement with our child since birth, now we have a court order that he has every other weekend.

Within days if the court order, he’s applied to CMS to vary the payment for “special expenses”… he’s claiming £70 a week in travel costs.

I do get a decent maintenance payment compared to many people, but a loss of over £300 a month is going to be very difficult. I work full time but my job isn’t well paid, and do all the day to day care of our child, pay for nursery etc.

Ex was financial controlling and harassed me over CMS for years, this all came out in court and was noted by the judge.

For what it’s worth, my ex is in a well paid job, has a house worth 7 figures, drives a large car worth 6 figures, has investment properties etc. he isn’t hard up.

I know there’s nothing I can do about it but AIBU to feel the system is really unfair on resident parents.

Just because he’s applied, it doesn’t mean it will be granted. Nonetheless I would consider that EOW you be actively spending on your child, and you won’t be doing what a lot of parents have to do which is halfway handovers twice in a weekend.

What is the £70? Cost of petrol, the govt mileage allowance (45p per mile), train fare? Just wondering if you check it and dispute it.

Why is he applying for weekly when he sees him fortnightly ?

Plus why is he claiming £70 every week when he only sees his child eow?
id definitely be challenging that.

I haven’t been given a breakdown of what he is claiming exactly, even though the letter says it is disclosed it’s not. He drives, so it’s not public transport. He drives a very large, expensive SUV… I imagine it does use quite a lot of fuel. Maybe he’s claiming toll costs too if he uses the toll road. The reason he has to do the collecting and travelling is because it’s ordered by family court, he moved away, I am also a victim of DA by him and he has to collect out child from and return to school so there is no contact between us. In holidays it is a third party, which is only available here. This is all court ordered.

Thats alot of money! Hope someone with sense gets a say in it

If he does the travel as per the court order, this is a reasonable expense to claim. However, it comes off his salary before maintenance is calculated - he pays about 10% of his travel costs less in maintenance, so you’d only have a small reduction.

Challenge it. How is he claiming a weekly cost when it's EOW? It's just another way to get under your skin. Don't let him.

I'd be very surprised if he's granted it, seeing as HE moved away. Sounds like more attempted financial control.

Challenge it.

Stingy layabout excuse for a Dad.

You need to call them to clarify what it’s for if the letter says the information is included and it’s not. I would then research and provide my own evidence to counter his request with the actual cost/frequency. Also provide proof of why he has to do the collections/drop offs (copy of court order showing this is a consequence of his own behaviour) and demonstrate that he is continuing to use the system to financially abuse you. They don’t have to grant it!

He’s highly unlikely to be granted £140 EOW. That’s a lot of travel costs.

a friend of mine whose ex moved to Scotland visits his daughter every 3 weeks and has to stay in a hotel for the weekend as it’s not feasible to have the child travel the distance doesn’t get that much.

And that’s an 8/9 hour drive and 2/3 nights in a hotel

I wouldn't have thought the type of vehicle made any difference. HMRC mileage allowance for business travel is 55p (irrespective of gas guzzling capacity). Why would he get any more than that?

Does he live 127 miles from where you are? That's how far he'd need to travel for it to cost £140 every second weekend.

Does it? Is that what it feels like to you having read the OP?

When did they stop teaching comprehension in schools?

This, I never got thsy impression.

He very likely will be successful
The child Maintainence service only dealing facts not common sense

Would you want somebody who commit committed violence against you in your daughter’s life?

The fact that she tolerate it makes her a saint

My abusive and adulterous ex who kept moving around the country to pursue their stunning and brave new trans identity took me to court to force our 7yo DD to see them, even though she was utterly traumatised (court and CAFCASS sided with DD) - eventually DD agreed to 2 hour contact locally so she could come home if she wanted to, once a fortnight. The CF applied for travel costs to come to see her. The child maintenance service refused it because it wasn’t every week. And of course they repeatedly cancelled coming to see her anyway!

it’s all part of the abuse. I was told by CMS that unless it was every single week and more than a certain distance or amount, they can’t claim.

If you can challenge to somehow, do. Surely they can see how this is just an extension of his financially abusive behaviour, no doubt he wanted and fight for the contact in the first place! X

How is he able to claim £70 p/w when he has your child every other week?

I'm kinda on the fence, I mean you're also now not spending money on child those weekends, for me it would deoend how much he is paying. Like if that's the majority of his payment totally unreasonable, if he's paying like £1k a month, not so much.

So he’s saying £70 a week but only does fortnightly which means it costs him £140 per visit so £70 each way? Seems ridiculously steep.

What are you reading? 👀

OP ask for a copy of the breakdown that’s not included.

make sure it’s only for when he travels EOW and point out past DV.

unfortunately you can’t control the outcome but you can control what info you provide to the decision maker.