Toddler holiday transfer conundrum

[wildflower93]

We have had a truly horrid year as a family. We have spent thousands on a house sale that fell through, my partner nearly died of a burst appendix (and has been unwell constantly since), and we are having to move out of our home for the sale of our house to continue.

My mother in law has said she’ll pay for me and my son to go on holiday. I’m a teacher so have a lot of time off- my partner doesn’t have the holidays and isn’t well enough to travel- so we are doing it solo!

We will be taking one large case, a buggy and hand luggage. Practically it is impossible to carry a car seat in there for private transfer leaving me with the options of

1. Book a private transfer and use one of their car seats (Honey Baby).

2. Coach transfer

Is there anything I can take on the coach to make it safer?

I am ready to not book the holiday just over the stress of the transfer. I’m hyper vigilant all the time about his safety but recognise that there will be times I have to compromise and weigh up the risk, for example school trips. I cannot For reference, my son is 4 in August.

How much will the transfer cost?

I’d probably do that, to avoid the extra luggage.

I’m not too bothered about the cost. I think probably around 100 euros. It’s just I already know they’ll be dodgy car seats and that the private taxis can have quite erratic drivers. I was reading online from Holiday rep (another parent had same issue) who said that coach travel is way safer. And is it any different to travelling on a bus at home? Argh the stress levels!

I am pretty hot on car seats but we are on holiday just now and have done a couple of coach journeys with 4yo and I’ve felt comfortable with that level of risk. The risk profile in a coach is quite different to in a car and they’ve had seatbelts. You could get a bubblebum inflatable booster as that would be easy to take with you in luggage.

Get the coach. Don’t take too much luggage. I once took my two away when they were two and five with a buggy and didn’t really consider how I would push a buggy and pull the cases.

How old is your child?

I’d choose somewhere fairly close to the airport to minimize the transport time. Then do coach, I wouldn’t trust private hire car seats. I wouldn’t want to go on a motorway in the coach though, so pick somewhere which doesn’t require that.

Surely a 4yo doesn’t need a buggy?

He’ll be 4 at the end of August!

We still use it quite regularly at home! We walk a lot… and I mean a lot.

He is 4 in a few weeks. A buggy is invaluable to have on holiday for naps, to avoid long walks in heat, in case of delays so he has somewhere to sleep. I’d keep the buggy for as long as possible for holiday!

It’s 2 hours 😬 we’re meeting my parents there

Just take the coach. Every one I’ve been on has a seat belt. Why are you taking a pushchair?

2 hours in a coach with a 4 year old? That would be a hard no from me. Sounds like this isn’t going to be a relaxing holiday. I wouldn’t be planning long walks in the heat. It’s bloody hot in Europe right now! Just go and have a chilled holiday.

I find it baffling that this is even a question! Like not in a rude way, it’s just an absolute necessity for toddlers!

Naps, long walks in the heat, a place to sleep in case of delays… buggies are an absolute holiday essential to me! My siblings had buggies on holiday until they were around 5.

I was going to say that I don’t think I’d want to take a 3 year old on holiday on my own but I see you are meeting your parents.

I think I’d take the coach.

I travelled solo with 2 year old DD recently. I took a pram, one large case, hand luggage and a Graco Slimfit car seat. It wasn’t the easiest but it was only from the car to the airport drop off that it was a juggle. Then it was fine.

Happy to answer any questions, I was also anxious about it.

Thanks… hope you have a great time whatever your decision!

Can your child carry a Trunki backpack booster seat or equivalent to use on the coach?
If the coach has seat belts this is the option I'd go for.

I don't know where you're travelling on to but could your parents buy a car seat at their end and a taxi from where they are collects you from the airport with the decent car seat? I'm assuming you are travelling to wherever they live, maybe you're just meeting them on their holiday in a hotel then this would be harder.

And I'd ask your family to buy as much as they can for you in advance so you're carrying less. Even if you have to pay. Or you order from Amazon here to deliver there.

I would throw as much money as I could afford at making this easier.

I would get the coach. I am sure neither of mine used a buggy at four years old but if you need one 🤷‍♀️

I hope you have a great time.

I was thinking this and we’ve always used a coach transfer and never taken car seats, just sat them on a seat and it’s been fine.

I wouldn’t make life difficult for yourself - just go and enjoy the holiday.

We take a travel stroller sometimes for our just turned 4yo, invaluable if you are doing say a theme park and doing a load of walking plus handy for storing stuff in when you go on rides. We wouldn’t take one for a lazy kind of beach/resort holiday though but if we were doing loads of walking and it allowed us to go further/stay out longer then why not? We have one just for holidays as it was cheap and we don’t have a normal one as DD2 stopped using one at home about 2. In your case I think it’s a good idea, OP, as it will make life easier when you’re there.

I would get the coach. In a year he'll have to ride one occasionally on school trips. I'd take a Bubble Bum to get a better fit from the seatbelt.

Definitely take the buggy. We used ours right up to turning 4; not to arrive at pre-school as they were too grown up but for holidays, long days out and long walks it was needed.

At nearly 4 I would do the coach. They sometimes have backless boosters available, which is a big help in terms of getting the lap belt situated right, which is the most important part. Or Trunki Boostapak as suggested so he can put some luggage inside it. A high back booster on a coach is usually not a great idea as they put the child further forward. You can often adjust the height of a 3-point belt on a coach, anyway.

Passengers on a coach are at much less risk compared with passengers in a car, if the coach were to crash into something smaller.

If you did want to do a transfer and your son is under (or very close to) 105cm, I would get Kinderkraft Fix2go, the newer version of it which goes from 76-150cm and fits using isofix. You can use the 5 point harness up to 105cm essentially without weight limit (max 26.5kg) I would happily go slightly but not significantly over the 105cm.

If you aren't keen on it because of the brand, Maxi Cosi Nomad XL is very similar, it's just nearly twice the price and has a lower weight limit of 18kg for no apparent reason. These are extremely technically similar models, I don't think the Maxi Cosi will have much of an edge here.

Folding models haven't been that great in the past, but the fact it's 5 point harness, R129 and uses isofix and top tether means I expect it will perform reasonably. Would not expect much from the side impact protection, and it's not going to beat rear facing, but it ought to be better for frontal impacts compared with the old cheaper FF only models that people used to use for travel.

He's not a toddler he's school age!

Don't take loads of luggage. Get a trunki boostapak that he can carry as his hand luggage. Go by coach.

You won't need a buggy, surely at 4 he's going to be too tall to nap in a buggy anyway?
If you really need a buggy when you're there, your parents can buy a cheap one from a shop.

I find it baffling that a child who can be starting school in September would be in a buggy. But everyone is different I suppose.

Thank you for your concern. I said I wouldn’t be rude earlier but I may be intentionally rude now… as you said every child is different. My child can read and write. He’s a huge empath and emotionally intelligent. He’s also the baby of his year group being 5 days away from being the ‘oldest in the year.’ I don’t drive and we walk upto 18,000 steps a day on my days off work- I’m a teacher so that’s a lot of days. Do you expect him to walk with me the entire time? Do you expect me to stay indoors or only go places within a 0.5mile radius?