Colleague called me a relic at lunch, would you report it?

[Sacredbirman]

Had lunch with my colleague and a new intern. I was talking to the intern and she asked how long I had been in the company. I said over 20 years.
Other colleague said yes, she’s a relic.
Feeling a little hurt by this. My DD thinks I should report to HR.
What would you do? Already feel insecure in my job as HoD has made it clear he doesn’t want older women in his team (I am early 50s).
Part of me wants to just laugh it off but there is also a bit of background that he got my role when I had burnout and when I returned I wasn’t reinstated and then he was promoted to the same level as me.

No. She just means you've been there ages - it's not an insult.

Get a grip!

Not really sure what you would be "reporting".

What do you understand relic to mean?

It's just a bit of small talk. Your history with this colleague is colouring your perception.

Next time just make a joke about how long they have been there too.

I was all for reporting her until I read the context. I agree with @beaglescurleduplikebagels it doesn't seem like she meant it as an insult ❤️

No, not based on that comment as a one off example. It was crass but I don't think it's reportable.

Good grief! It was a throwaway comment.

That is definitely a rude and very unprofessional thing to say. I’d raise my eyebrows at that, but wouldn’t escalate it.

No I wouldn't

Don't be ridiculous, it was a harmless comment.

No, I would read it as having been intended as lighthearted, even if in actual fact it hurt your feelings. If it is part of a wider pattern of behaviour, that is different.

Pull yourself together.

It would not even occur to me to contemplate reporting this.

I think you probably need to develop a tough but funny come back. ("Yes, I've forgotten more than you've ever learnt" sort of thing)

It's sexist ageism, but not worth going to HR, unless there's a pattern of behaviour you can evidence that demonstrates direct or indirect discrimination.

It sounds like there may be grounds for that. Keep records or notes!

Relic means something leftover from a bygone time. This would be taken seriously if it was reported at my work

This kind of ageism is in the training we have to do yearly

Surviving Memorial or Object: A surviving memorial of the past, or an old object valued for its age or association with history.
Surviving Trace or Custom: A remnant or custom that has survived from an earlier period (such as an outmoded tradition).
Souvenir or Memento: Something kept in remembrance.
Ecclesiastical / Religious: The body, a part of the body, or a personal item of a saint or martyr preserved as worthy of veneration.
Person or Thing of an Earlier Era: Someone or something that belongs to the past but has survived into modern times.

Other comments get made about my age etc and I’m not the oldest in the team nor the longest there.

Oh ffs this is why workplaces are so miserable!

yours
a workplace dinosaur

You can report it, and your HR dept should take it seriously.

But, as ex HR, I can tell you that the majority of HR people, while taking it seriously and going through the right processes (so you'd never know they feel this way tbf), would roll their eyes in private and hope the time is coming very soon when any and all non-work related talk becomes unlawful, so they can legitimately introduce a no casual discussion policy.

Just marked off 'get a grip' AND 'pull yourself together' on my mumsnet bingo card of unhelpful and cunty replies 😊

I’d call them a foetus as a retort.

Id be annoyed but wouldn’t report unless there’s a backstory there?

Your boss however….how do you know he doesn’t want over 50’s women?

I wouldn’t report it if it was a one off. It depends on your relationship with the person who said it too though.
Said nicely / jokingly by someone who you get on with is different from it being a nasty comment meant to undermine / hurt.
I can see why you are feeling a bit vulnerable though.

Glad I could help, Fanny.

He’s made it clear.