Colleague called me a relic at lunch, would you report it?

[Sacredbirman]

Had lunch with my colleague and a new intern. I was talking to the intern and she asked how long I had been in the company. I said over 20 years.
Other colleague said yes, she’s a relic.
Feeling a little hurt by this. My DD thinks I should report to HR.
What would you do? Already feel insecure in my job as HoD has made it clear he doesn’t want older women in his team (I am early 50s).
Part of me wants to just laugh it off but there is also a bit of background that he got my role when I had burnout and when I returned I wasn’t reinstated and then he was promoted to the same level as me.

Where friends i actually get on with my colleagues we where having a laugh.

@Sacredbirman Relic was in reference to how long you had been with the company. If you had been 40 y old you wouldn't have minded. I'm 46 and I wouldn't have cared tbh. Unless it was part of systemic ageist bullying - then I would have contacted HR. Not for one comment.

Fgs why do some many people think they have to report every single thing said to them if they can put even the slightest derogatory spin on it. As another woman in her 50s get a flipping grip. Nobody will speak to each other at all soon.

Wow, that's... awful.

This.

It would depend on my relationship with the colleague who said it.

By the remark itself, I wouldn't be offended (I am your age, OP, with similar tenure) but if it was part of a pattern of sniping or remarks made to undermine me, I would add it to my 'evidence' and report it.

A one off from a colleague who was usually supportive and pleasant - I would take it as a joke, not wildly funny but not offensive.

How can someone have got old enough to be called a relic, without having developed some useful strategies for dealing with it other than dragging in HR?

I once once talking to a newbie I was training who asked me how long I’d been working at the company.

I said “before you could walk - I have a son you’re age”

Im glad she laughed. Shes a great colleague too.

Get a grip woman!!! Or call them a name back!!!

Calling someone a relic is a very is hurtful and nasty comment. It denotes a thing that has no current use or relevance and probably belongs in a museum. So yes, it's an insult and designed to be rude and ageist. I'm surprised how many posters wouldn't care but maybe they haven't got to the "relic or fossil" stage yet. If the colleague had called the OP plump, then I think the responses would be very different or would that just be seen as "banter" too?

Ive worked in many different places with HRBP's, shared services, centralised etc. both private and public sector, must have worked with well over a hundred various HR professionals both as HR myself and in other capacities and I can only think of maybe 2 HR people that wouldn't go "FFS really?" at these sort of complaints 😂 but as i say tbf they are handled seriously so most of the time people never know (realise all this is anecdotal, but i highly doubt im wrong!)

Did you follow up on why you weren't reinstated following what I assume would have been time off due to sickness? I'm not sure they are allowed to demote you.
I do think you should keep records of age discrimination and seek some advice from a union, in case you heed evidence for the future.

I wouldn't. I'm 60, some of my colleagues are in their 20s and we make jokes about each others ages all the time. They might ask if I remember JFK being assissinated, I tell them not to be so bloody cheeky because I've got milk in my fridge older than them and they need to respect their elders. It's banter, no offence meant or taken.

Yes, if you want to embarrass yourself.

"If you're saying I'm a valuable icon, I'll take it!"

If you report this you will be playing right into the stereotype of mature women being difficult and over sensitive in the workplace. You are there a long time. You are not young. Hence the term. Yes it's not a particularly nice thing to say but I'm sure young people hear equivalents all the time. You're just a baby / a rookie etc.

It was very rude and absolutely an attempt at a put down.

But I wouldn't report him. You will look petty and you will get nowhere with it in a company where your HoD is already ageist and sexist.

I would just find a moment to look the little twat in the eye and say "Not really on to have told our intern that I am a relic - mind your manners in future?"

Absolutely not. Fucking hell, unclench!

For goodness sake, give your head a wobble and get on with your life !
and that's from someone older from you.

I think your real issue is not that you were called a relic but ' he got my role when I had burnout and when I returned I wasn’t reinstated and '

otherwise you wouldn't have even mentioned that.

Head of department doesn't actually employ you tho does he ?
depending if it is a public business or a private one.

'Already feel insecure in my job as HoD has made it clear he doesn’t want older women in his team '

This is worse than the flippant relic comment. Was the colleague who said that the HoD?

Also how has the HoD made it clear he doesn't want older women in his team? That's an HR issue, if you can evidence it.

I would take it as a compliment, but experience is valued in my job

A senior male colleague suggested to me years ago, in front of numerous other colleagues, that I had been successful in work I had done for one of the company's subsidiaries because I was 'sleeping' with the MD. The only reason I reported it to HR was because a friend working in the more enlightened Sweden persuaded me that it was a big thing. (The colleague lost his job when the company was taken over by a US company shortly afterwards because his treatment of women made him a risk.)

Ha! Seriously!

Yes report it, do. Give them all a good laugh

I called someone ancient today. I refer to myself like that too.

Or someone thats been there a long time is part of the furniture.

Its affectionate.

Hey! Don't degrade us dinosaurs/relics/BOF's (boring old f@rts)
We might not have youth on our side but we often have a wealth of untapped information/knowledge/skills that are very useful in the workplace.