Colleague called me a relic at lunch, would you report it?

[Sacredbirman]

Had lunch with my colleague and a new intern. I was talking to the intern and she asked how long I had been in the company. I said over 20 years.
Other colleague said yes, she’s a relic.
Feeling a little hurt by this. My DD thinks I should report to HR.
What would you do? Already feel insecure in my job as HoD has made it clear he doesn’t want older women in his team (I am early 50s).
Part of me wants to just laugh it off but there is also a bit of background that he got my role when I had burnout and when I returned I wasn’t reinstated and then he was promoted to the same level as me.

I personally think it was really ageist - which makes it a discriminatory comment, depending on how and who said it.

Do you have an ongoing tension with this person, have you had significant conflicts, or is this someone who usually banters with you and this comment just landed wrong?

If the first, perhaps you need to consider chatting to your manager more generally about work place tensions and what you might do to improve things with this colleague; if it’s an escalation or part of an ongoing stream of nasty comments then you need to report it to that manager; and if it’s someone you get along with you can either let it go or just mention that you are fairly sure she didn’t mean anything by it, but you were a little bit hurt, so that they know not to make those kinds of jokes again, to anyone really, in case it gets them into hot water next time.

No. Reporting would be massive overreaction. If they do it again then maybe reply with something like, thanks young novice (why are no quotation marks on my tablet?)

Made it clear how?

To be brutal... Your age wouldn't make me not want to work alongside you but your overreaction would. Wonder if HOD has similar feelings.

despite the background, I'd have said that was a compliment and accepted it as such

People on this site just love 'reporting' things dont they

Either to police, or HR (thats a favourite) or to 'safeguarding'.

Ofsted is popular too.

Tbf we don’t know what “made it clear” looks like or what was being reported. Could be valid, could be spurious. Op hasn’t elaborated yet

Calling someone a relic is not a compliment on any level. Relic means something that is useless and irrelevant. How can "useless and irrelevant" ever be perceived as anything but dismissive, critical and unpleasant?

I’d be much more concerned about your HoD’s ageism - hold your powder dry for that.

And yes it might be part of the same attitude but you have bigger battles by the sound of it.

I refer to myself as 'the office old git' - because I am. 😆
When referred to as a dinosaur recently, I commented that I didn't believe I'd ever evolved that far and regard myself more like a trilobite.
I'm grateful that I work in a team which has a relaxed attitude.

Laugh it off! It’s a choice as to whether you get offended or not.

It WAS rude and unprofessional, but it's the kind of thing that you have to swat as soon as it's said - you can't say eff off in work, but you can say something like 'Indeed, but at least I have the wit not to insult a colleague to her face' or 'indeed. A priceless relic, actually,.' But I don't think there's much you can do about it after the fact, unfortunately. They go low, we go high. Write it down with the date, witnesses etc, in case there's another incident and you need to show it's a course of action, not a one-off.

I’m a little older than you. He’s only a few years younger than you. I wouldn’t take offence unless he’s a misogynist. Relics can be treasures.

I doubt it was meant to be nasty, just means you've likely been there the longest

No one likes people who take themselves too seriously.

And people do use the wrong word for things sometimes, perhaps relic was meant not as the strict dictionary definition. Does no one get things wrong these days?

My standard response to anyone referring to the time I had been with my company was 'Yes, and I know where all the bodies are buried!' accompanied by a tinkly laugh and a knowing look. It never failed to shut them up

I certainly wouldn't escalate your little interchange to HR, but I would make a note of it together with any other ageist or sexist remarks, especially if you think there is a bias against older women in your organisation. A record of this type could help to show a pattern of age and sex discrimination and prove very useful if you ever need to take your company to a tribunal.

I'm 60.

No, this wouldn't bother me at all unless said in nasty ot spiteful way. I'd join in the joke and agree with it.

I'm actually pretty sure my now adult children think that I was already ancient/a relic the day I was born. Not that they actually say it, they don't have to.

It's a throwaway comment, not an insult. Leave it as such.

I’d report your boss in priority but I disagree with most people on this thread - it’s a rude ageist comment, I would consider reporting

You've been there 20 years... Not really about your non work age. I don't think I know anyone who stayed that lomg in a job in last few decades😱 impressive

You forgot our non tolerance of workplace wanky bullshit because we’ve seen that wheel turn full circle a loooong time ago!

Jesus christ, I worked in HR for years, if you reported that to me I would of had to really try my best not to laugh in your face.

That's serious. But the 'relic' comment isn't, it refers to the fact that you've seen the company through many stages, and doesn't suggest you are past it.

Blimey, what happened to a good old discussion?
Why do you have to run to HR?

Just say to the person that you found it a bit off and could they refrain from calling you a relic as it is hurtful. They will say sorry and it will all be over.

Relic is bad, very bad. But FAR worse than that is your HoD’s STATED POSITION. Like WTF x100??? Report THAT. Now.

Report for what? We don’t know what he did? She’s said he “made it clear” but until we know what that looks like, recommending reporting someone is surely a bit knee jerk.