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Original poster

Team booked a meal out and I wasn’t invited!

154 replies

lovedarkchocolate · 07/06/2019 14:19

So I work part time in an office where there are about 15 employees in total.
They all booked a meal out this evening ( paid by the company) and didn’t bother asking me whether I’d like to join them. There was no email going around to inform us all about the event.
A couple of the guys came in today well excited about the meal and said it out loud while one of my other colleagues was trying to make him aware that I’m not invited and to keep quiet.
I’ve been working there part time for two years and I really feel left out. I’m not bothered about the meal really..,it’s the principle. My own manager didn’t say anything to me. So upset!

OP posts:
bananasonfire · 07/06/2019 14:20

Is the manager going too?

MummyofTw0 · 07/06/2019 14:22

I would bring it up with the manager

Or ask your colleagues why you weren't invited

I would embarrass them

Original poster
lovedarkchocolate · 07/06/2019 14:26

The manager is going yes. He planned the whole thing. I did say today when I walked out the door: have a great time tonight everyone

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/06/2019 14:29

I think you need to be upfront with your manager - either send an email, or tell him in person that you are hurt that you were left out of the meal, when everyone else was included, and that it is not acceptable to exclude anyone like that.

myrtleWilson · 07/06/2019 14:29

thats awful OP, am sorry. I would raise it with your manager - if it was purely social it would still be hurtful but as it is being paid for by the company I think its excluding. As a director if one of my managers behaved in this way I'd be speaking to them quite directly about their behaviour and if they were modelling our values.

Iamblossom · 07/06/2019 14:30

I think it is really out of order, and basically bullying. You have every right to be upset I would be too. Deffo raise it with your manager,

IvanaPee · 07/06/2019 14:31

Oh god that’s horrible!

Was it arranged on one of your days off maybe?

IvanaPee · 07/06/2019 14:32

I mean that maybe they just forgot to say it to you?

Original poster
lovedarkchocolate · 07/06/2019 14:32

I will raise it with him on Monday but I’m not sure what I’d achieve with it.
It’s the whole principe and it feels like they didn’t want to pay for one extra person. I’m not friends with them on fb Instagram etc. I think maybe that’s why they excluded me...

OP posts:
Honeybee85 · 07/06/2019 14:33

I would be upset too!

Have you experienced any bullying behaviour before in this workplace?

I would def talk with the manager and if you know someone at HR that you trust, mention it too.
Its very odd and unprofessional at least and workplace bullying at worst.

Original poster
lovedarkchocolate · 07/06/2019 14:33

It’s not my day off, I was in today

OP posts:
Original poster
lovedarkchocolate · 07/06/2019 14:34

We don’t have a hr department, it’s a small branch. It’s my manager that I’d have to speak to

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 07/06/2019 14:35

Shower of bastards. How childish for one colleague to try and keep the others quiet about it while you were there. Exclusion = bullying imo. I'd casually ask the boss on Monday if there was any particular reason you were excluded from the social outing paid for by the company (use those words so boss knows that you know the company paid). It's very hurtful.

JustHereWithPopcorn · 07/06/2019 14:35

That's really awful behaviour from them OP and I would agree that's bullying. I would be looking for a new job if I was you, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life Thanks

MrsAJ27 · 07/06/2019 14:36

That is so fucking rude, you definitely need to say some thing.

IvanaPee · 07/06/2019 14:36

Yes I know you were in today but I’m saying was it organised when you weren’t in maybe and then they forgot or x person assumed y person invited you etc.

poppet31 · 07/06/2019 14:37

That's horrible. Why would they exclude you? Do you all get along normally? There are people in my dept I'm not particularly fond of but I would never leave anyone out deliberately. That's just cruel.

Honeybee85 · 07/06/2019 14:37

Is there also a manager or director above your manager? Might be an idea to mention to them what happened. Esspecially since it’s obvious that they didnt just forget to invite you AND the company is providing them for their meal I see no reason why you have been excluded.

Original poster
lovedarkchocolate · 07/06/2019 14:38

@ivanapee well if that was the case...why trying to hide it from me? Why nobody said: are you looking forward to this evening? Or something like that

OP posts:
Morgan12 · 07/06/2019 14:39

What a bunch of pricks

Jaxhog · 07/06/2019 14:39

You imply that the company paid for the meal? If so, then it is totally out of order.

But I would ask your manager on monday. If they collectively have a problem with you. best to have it out in the open.

BlueMerchant · 07/06/2019 14:40

Very rude. Maybe they hold it against you that you are part-time so wrongly believe you aren't entitled to this free meal?
I'd hope they had a shite time!

Original poster
lovedarkchocolate · 07/06/2019 14:40

There is a director yes don’t see them very often. They come to the office once in a while. Maybe once every 6 months

OP posts:
gandalf456 · 07/06/2019 14:42

I would raise.it with them. Not least to shame them into not doing itagain

Original poster
lovedarkchocolate · 07/06/2019 14:48

@Jaxhog I’m 100% positive that it is paid by the company because I was there when the director said it in the office in front of everyone that if we hit the target for the month (which the office dId) he will pay for a meal for everyone.

OP posts: