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Original poster

Team booked a meal out and I wasn’t invited!

154 replies

lovedarkchocolate · 07/06/2019 14:19

So I work part time in an office where there are about 15 employees in total.
They all booked a meal out this evening ( paid by the company) and didn’t bother asking me whether I’d like to join them. There was no email going around to inform us all about the event.
A couple of the guys came in today well excited about the meal and said it out loud while one of my other colleagues was trying to make him aware that I’m not invited and to keep quiet.
I’ve been working there part time for two years and I really feel left out. I’m not bothered about the meal really..,it’s the principle. My own manager didn’t say anything to me. So upset!

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 07/06/2019 14:49

That’s incredibly shit.

Namechangeishard · 07/06/2019 14:51

That is awful and it is bullying by exclusion. Definately needs addressing.
Flowers

Honeybee85 · 07/06/2019 14:52

I hope they get food poisoning from the free meal.

Sorry to hear its not easy to get in touch with someone of a higher ranking then your manager who had a part in this. If this had happened to me, it might make me think of quietly start to look from the corner of my eyes for a new job elsewhere.

Reallybadidea · 07/06/2019 14:55

That's horrible. But it reflects badly on them, not you because only incredibly unpleasant people would behave like this.

DobbyLovesSocks · 07/06/2019 14:56

I've had similar to this OP. Found out they had all gone out for a social via fb when they all 'checked' themselves in. They'd even invited past colleagues to join them. I felt so shitty and will admit I shed a tear as I felt so awful.
Really don't know what goes through people's minds and how they can be downright nasty

timeisnotaline · 07/06/2019 14:57

If it is paid for by the company it’s bullying. You really should take it further.

Laffinalltheway · 07/06/2019 14:58

You should say out loudly to them, "I'm only part-time I know, so I would only have had a part meal - starter or desert - you can even choose which. Have a lovely evening!" Then walk head held high!

DinkyTie · 07/06/2019 14:59

Ignore Ivanapee, they always show up to make the OP feel shit.

That is really terrible. Regardless of when it was organised, if it's company paid you should definitely be invited!

StrongTea · 07/06/2019 14:59

Rise above it, rude and ignorant people, not surprised you are upset. Just hope they have a rubbish night.

gandalf456 · 07/06/2019 15:00

Maybe you should turn up? Breeze in with a hi and see if anyone has the balls to send you home

Original poster
lovedarkchocolate · 07/06/2019 15:02

Thank you all for the kind messages. I will mention it my manager on Monday.
I don’t really care about their meal I really don’t. I was hurt I was excluded that’s all.

OP posts:
00100001 · 07/06/2019 15:03

well, maybe ask for the cash instead Grin

BlueberryFool123 · 07/06/2019 15:03

That is bullying. Totally unacceptable.

Original poster
lovedarkchocolate · 07/06/2019 15:03

@gandalf456 you are funny! I know where it takes place but don’t know what time... can you imagine??!!! Their faces would drop 😂

OP posts:
IvanaPee · 07/06/2019 15:05

@DinkyTie what the fuck are you on about?

How is hoping it was a misunderstanding trying to make the OP feel shit?

Original poster
lovedarkchocolate · 07/06/2019 15:05

@00100001 hahaha that’s a good one

OP posts:
Parker231 · 07/06/2019 15:11

Their behavior is totally wrong. I would email your manager asking why you were excluded but also cc the Director so that they are aware.

hellymart · 07/06/2019 15:16

That's mean and I agree with others that it's a form of bullying, to leave you out like that. Is it a 'boys night out' or are other women going too? I think you definitely need to say anything a) so they know you won't take something like that lying down and b) so they might think twice before doing it again. You don't have to get angry or aggressive. Just say (or email) in a calm way that you feel upset and excluded and ask him why you were not invited to the meal? Then stay silent and watch him squirm.

hellymart · 07/06/2019 15:16

sorry 'say something' not 'anything'!

Notabedofroses · 07/06/2019 15:17

I would absolutely go, get there early. A couple of drinks and sit back and enjoy the squirming and lack of chairs! You should make a special point of thanking the manager for inviting you.

I double dog dare you op.

Magenta82 · 07/06/2019 15:18

I know it is really upsetting, but please don't do anything until you have had a chance to speak with your boss. This very likely could be the result of a mistake or incorrect assumption rather than malice.

I would speak with your manager on Monday and say that you were very hurt and felt deliberately excluded and then see what his reaction is. Try to find out the thinking behind it and have a conversation about how it could have been handled better. Follow this up with an email covering the main points of your discussion.

Then if you are not satisfied you can look into taking things further, you say you are a branch with no HR, but there might be someone responsible for that function at another location, this would be my first choice of contact, if not then email your boss's boss.

Even if it is self funded it is not ok to invite all staff bar one or two, it could be discrimination if you are the only part timer, especially as more part time staff are women.

Notabedofroses · 07/06/2019 15:20

On a serious note op I am pretty sure this an oversight, I don’t think any company would be that crap, I bet you it turns out that they thought they’d invited you or forgot to add you because you are part time. It could be an innocent mistake...

happybunny007 · 07/06/2019 15:22

How come you’re raising it with your manager after the meal, rather than before?

VisiblyOver25 · 07/06/2019 15:22

It's the secrecy and shushing that's wrong. If you're not invited because it's for full time staff only (and who would do that?) they should be upfront about it.

Original poster
lovedarkchocolate · 07/06/2019 15:24

Well I’m done for the day and my manager was not in for the majority of the morning so couldn’t talk to him.
There are other women in the office but they work full time.

OP posts: