The Bluestocking is reopening

[ErrolTheDragon]

It's time we reopened the Bluestocking, I think.

This is the FWR pub, situated in the charming village of Badley Fuckitt near the Shady Pines rest home. It has a cannon (for reasons lost in the mists of time), goats in the paddock next to the beer garden and a menu including many soups and cakes. It's open all hours, serving breakfast and tea to all weary women, in addition to being the ideal location to metaphorically drown your sorrows.

Naice coffee ...

Alas the favourite Blue Stocking fell at the first hurdle. cakes flip flops got distracted after the first water jump when he spotted someone wearing lime green crocs in the distance and decided they'd taste good. Last I saw a farmer was running for his life from a goat ridden by a mad quokka who was screaming that cakes flip flops would be avenged.

Anyway I'm still awaiting the actual winner in the steeplechase to cross the line. Goat's are not very motivated to run from point A to point B in the quickest time possible.

Glad my crocs are more kiwi than lime green... I wouldn't inflict them on the Bluestocking clientele.

I've never seen anyone attempt to race goats, but I accidentally went to an agricultural show yesterday which featured some hilarious dog racing. The terriers seemed quite focussed, but the open race was hilariously random.

How do you "accidentally" go to an agricultural show? Was it posing as "Good Food"?

Today has been a bad day for women and girls. So I'll sadly sip my coke and wonder wtf has gone wrong with men and boys.

Sorry to bring the mood down. The next round is on me.🍸

We went to some nice gardens, we didn't realise there was going to be a show in the parklands. It's quite easily done up north tbh.

I've just read the news. Make mine a double.

I think I need a drink too. I'll have a pint of the usual, thanks. Anyone else?

As your at the bar I'll have a double Bailey's with ice.

Cheers! Let's have the bottle and get ratlegged on Baileys.

Yawns!

Stretches!

Realises I'm still in the pub.

Prods Cake

Cake! Cake! Wake up!

We fell asleep!

I need to go home to feed the cat.

God my head hurts!

Huh! Who knew you could get a hangover from 12 bottles of Bailey's!

The worst hangover I ever had was from Baileys. After New Year's Eve one year, trying to get rid of the bottle so we could start a few alcohol-free days.

The hangover certainly helped to accomplish that!

I think trying the Baileys with the cider was a mistake, it went all noodley. Deciding it would be wrong to waste it...that was definitely an error. Could someone turn the sun down please?

I had a bit of a wine-ache yesterday, turns out that polishing off most of a bottle before the hottest day of the year is a bad thing.

Would love to say lesson learnt but the old memory is so full of stuff that some things fall out.

Ibuprofen, plenty of water with fizzy vitamins in and a restful day with the bluestocking cat is prescribed.

<strokes cat>
Glad to be here. So fed up with the world today.
Mine's a Pimms.

What the???? are you doing in my garden @Boiledbeetle

<squints then puts dark glasses back on>

I think that might be a female stag beetle, a hind beetle? A doe beetle? Anyway, if you're in the UK there's some sort of survey going on. It's probably Google-able.

Unless you've got teeny hands?

It's huge so am assuming it eats lots of cake. Will drop into the survey later, we have loads near a woodstore where we've left rotting wood for homes for stags

I've had a hot morning at work and could do with something cool and non alcoholic before tidying up the beer garden, what refreshing drink would you suggest? And NO @Boiledbeetle I don't want a sneaky vodka in it but I would be secretly happy if you added one anyway.

We've got some very drinkable non-alcoholic beers - I know they used to be cats-piss but there are some decent ones nowadays which hit the spot for me if I want something cold but not sweet.
Alternatively of course there's proper fresh lemonade, with or without fizzy water/elderflower.

<cracks open an eye>

Lemonade?🥹

I tried ringing the bell, but couldn't reach!

Here's bottle of iced water wink wink!

I quite fancy some with elderflower. I can actually offer some Lidl shandy in return!!