Entitled male refused access to female changing area (despite wearing skirt)

[ACatCalledPushka]

Well done to the hotel staff. ‘trans ‘woman’ given key to the unisex changing room instead of the female changing room ‘trans woman’ not happy.

https://twitter.com/anneicoombes/status/1683090524641566721?s=46&t=5tHsrgY5T97exTqeFD4LWg

I was on the tube in the late 80s. Middle of the day, an almost empty carriage. He got on. A couple of stops later I looked up and he had his penis out.

That was the first time on public transport that I really remember. There were other times on buses.

The men who flash know it's not a joke. They're not doing it to make us laugh and brighten up our day.

What is the recommended response to that?

I know if you want to piss them off, you would laugh. But I gather that's quite dangerous.

My elderly grandmother, years ago now, once had someone flash her while she was working in her garden (and very much in a position of safety). She told me she squinted at him, and upon realising what he was doing, loudly told him that she wouldn't be showing that off if she were him. She used to teach, and was using her most scornful "what a silly child you are" tone. To her delight, he rapidly covered up and scuttled off. Guess that wasn't quite the response he was after...!

My great aunt (who must have been in her 90s at the time) was flashed while she was walking her dog. She told him to put it away.

I just got the shagging couple on a grassy ledge halfway down the cliff face on my mapping project area.

Not really the kind of exposure I’d been expecting 🤣

When I was little, my mum chased a flasher out of the garden with her sword. It was one of her favourite stories to repeat later in life, always with a wistful regret that she hadn't chopped it right off him! She was formidable. Taught me all about male chauvinist pigs too, she didn't take any nonsense from any man.

I was on the bus one evening - aged about 16. A man sat the opposite side of the aisle and started masterbating furiously making sexual noises.
I didn’t look and the noises got louder and louder til I got up and went downstairs.

I went to the front and told the driver - his reaction ‘well what do you want me to do about it?’

I got off and waited 30 minutes for the next bus and I never said a word to my parents. Just tried to pretend it hadn’t happened.

It does not matter how lovely or safe a male person is: some women cannot use mixed sex spaces. They can't. A male walks in to live his best life and have his most comfortable choice from all the facilities and by doing so some women lose access to any facilities at all .

It’s quite astonishing really, isn’t it, how difficult it is to get this simple and fundamental message out.

Ooh, that makes me so cross for the 16 year old you, @SamW98 !

You’ve got right to the heart of it.

I think it does get across. It must be the point of the activity.
I remember years ago in the days of Spare Rib, though it may not have been there that I read it, and I did not wholly agree with it, that it was argued that all men have an interest in having a few perverts performing in society, to keep women in their place, excluded. Which is why it isn't stopped. One girl is flashed on one train, and it's like a vaccination. As a result many girls don't use many trains.

Not sure if this has been posted on here yet

https://reduxx.info/uk-trans-identified-male-who-sparked-backlash-after-using-womens-changing-room-during-teen-swim-meet-engaged-with-erotic-breastfeeding-account/

Well Anne don’t be happy with the pronouns used in that article. But tbh I don’t think Anne will be happy about very much at the moment

On July 31, X user @GenderReceiptsshared the discovery that Coombes’ Medium account was following a “nymphomaniac” blog titled Lola Down.

Alarmingly, the account hosts erotic stories featuring photos of mothers breast feeding their babies. The photos are presented in a pornographic context and appear to be intended to be used for sexual gratification...

... The piece is accompanied by over one dozen images of mothers breastfeeding their babies, most of which appear to have been innocent photos used without the consent of the individual behind them.

None of the photographs censor the faces or nude bodies of the women or children.

On June 11, Coombes wrote about receiving a bra fitting, boasting “I thought I was a 38A, I was shocked to walk out with a 36D.”

Ugh ugh ugh. Are there any trans identified men who aren't like this???

I actually can't think of even one.

Remember the thread on here about “Ginny”?

similar vibes

Ginny! I wonder how that all panned out in the end. I really felt for the OP and her colleagues. Well, almost all of her colleagues.

One girl is flashed on one train, and it's like a vaccination. As a result many girls don't use many trains.

I had no choice but to travel to school by train, and it was the only real way to get up to Town from my S London suburb. I had a number of encounters shall we say. Including a couple where bystanders refused to help

Posh school, scholarship girl. Strict uniform rules included black stockings. (Held up with suspenders, as for every other woman and girl. Later in the 60s tights replaced stockings as the default hosiery.)

I've been comparing the woman who handed over the key to the unisex facilities to Ginny's colleague. I fear that she may have felt just as upset and confused over the situation, and although many people have gone out of their way to congratulate her and her employers, she might well have had a truly dreadful few days after the incident itself and the online abuse from Anne.

So now all swimming officials (including Anne of course) have been told not to do a walk-through of the female changing room areas, but could Anne still be allowed to use the female toilets which are situated within the changing areas?

This thread made me think of Ginny too, almost sounded like the same person. I hope the OP of that thread is okay.

Yes. The whole 'it's just one unfortunate person, don't judge the whole group' line is long since over. It isn't just one, this is the population we're talking about. These are common, regular features of the group. That women are expected to put up with in their spaces.

We're long since past #nothankyou and into #forgetitmate

I think the 'one bad apple' argument only works if the rest of the barrel are prepared to stand up and say, "This is wrong. We don't support this. We don't want this behaviour in our community."

As RMW's twitter comments make clear, the instinct instead is to excuse and minimise the bad apple's conduct.

It's not a bug. It's a feature.

Well it may have been just the one rotten apple here and there at the beginning, but as we all know you leave rotting fruit in with the rest and soon the whole lot is rotting.

Instead of weeding out the rotten apples they just kept inviting more rotten apples to jump into the barrel.