Ode to Nicola

[TerfranosaurusVagina]

Feminist to your fingertips
So many lies are passing your lips
Trans Activist to your toenails
Innumerable safeguard fails
Misogynist to your merkin
Policies are tear jerkin'
Destroyer of womens rights
You're so superior, yet shite

But most of all... you're a hypocrite

Holy cow! This needs a special award!

Doesn't it.

I'm torn between bowing down and the urge to look at the poster with a bitter and twisted look on my face.

I'm going to bow down. I'm still looking at it going How? Just how! Bloody brilliant.

I'm quite laid back around political discussion generally but Nicola...there's something really sinister about her to me. Something going on behind the scenes, no idea what, but the hardness, clear desperation, single mindedness and most importantly the ignoring of the electorate with regards to this issue and it's dangers, indicates to me there's more to this. Frightening.

😁This reply made my day. Thank you. How and why? I have a disabled daughter so I am up in the night listening to check she’s ok. Then I think of her and what’s happening, especially to Scotland, and I can’t sleep. So I play around with letters, words and categories in the wee hours. I came up with a lot more - ‘Lunatic’ is in there but I didn’t twist that in.

May I ask your favourite line?

Hmmmmmm....nope I can't get those ridiculous pronouns out of my head
If this pronoun thing is going to be life, ughhhhhhhh I'd rather be dead

Or for a much safer option can I have some fun with this dead quick
my pronouns are Nicola/I/hate/you/you/fucking/gigantic/big/dick

I'd tell you but i hadn't done a screen shot and when i went back to re-read it it had gone. Please PM a copy of it to me otherwise I'll never get to read it again.

Oh no! How sad. I will ask Mumsnet why. My own name as an anagram is a shocker!
Hopefully it will be reinstated but I will ask if I can pm as maybe they can tell me which lines?

On a serious note, this whole ideology plays on words. Chest feeding instead of breast feeding, bottom surgery, xe/xir, ‘female penis’, ‘cis’. The most incendiary word= woman. How come I get deleted?

@Tinysoxxx there's been a few zapped, the watchers appear to be monitoring.

I hope they put it back up it deserves to be up. One of the other zapped ones was successfully pm'd to me with all words intact.

Ok but genuinely want mumsnet to sanction it to be ok as I like these boards. I was careful with the wording, in my sleep deprived state at 3am, and it was directed at the ideology rather than the person which is why I didn’t use other words I have mentioned as I couldn’t twist it to the ideology. There were some corkers that came up but none as funny as the words from letters in my own name.

No worries, I hope even if they don't put it back up that they let you know which word forced the post to be pulled.

I might have to try doing one with my name. .I shall make it a new year project.

This, this and this again.

I regret having missed Tinysoxxx's post. @MNHQ why was it deleted please?

Some people are so fussy
We get their pronouns right
'P1My faer is only singular'
They strop with all their might

Its pitiful they can't see
How ironic it all is
When they refuse to hear that I'm
Just 'woman' with no 'cis'

Gah the result of trying to type and bathe a toddler at the same time

'My faer is only singular'

I missed @Tinysoxxx post! Can anyone PM me with it?

If it helps I missed a 's off that's a few verses back

I'm not sure anyone got it in time no-one was expecting it to go it was bloody amazing

Great idea. And Boiled you have my full permish 😂

No woman without cis you mean
To be woman must be cis or tran
How dare you try to define yourself
Do you think you're better than a man?

The stage play is first I've been stuck on the last two scenes since October, they're written ish. The first act though... Wonderful even if i say so myself. Although honestly i have actually bought my ticket and sat through worse. But who am I to say.

Now if i win the national poetry competition in a few months then obviously the poetry book will jump to the top of my to do list. And the salt and snot will be in there.

If we're going to monetise them, we may as well get a bit more mileage out one I wrote earlier. Its about MinistryofCheers misogynist posts but can easily be adapted

Scots Ministry stretching reality
Statistics are very lacking quality
So we'll tar everybody with the racist brush
Cos the transphobic label didn't make 'em hush.
Scrabbling around to link the far right
When everybody knows thats a load of old shite.
Biology dictates that a male with a phallus
Can never act-u-ally ever be an 'Alice'.
Women just want to feel safe and protected
In spaces for WOMEN. Instead of detecting
An unexpected penis in the bagging area;
Getting wrongly accused of hysteria.
Young girls and women want privacy to pee,
Wash blood off their hands and cry if they need.
I'm miscarrying, but if I tried to inform ya,
I'd only be told I shouldn't weaponise my trauma.
We're not bigoted for not inviting assault
So instead of tantrumming coz you think we're at fault
Why not lobby for tert-i-ary spaces
For folks whose gender ain't in homeostasis?
It's the obvious solution, and its plain to see,
But "No" you stomp, "that doesn't validate ME"!

Does anyone here actually know anyone who can do something with these? I might be writing my life as a stage play but it will never get past a single solitary copy on my bookshelf?

TRA mod on duty today? Poems taken down but hate thread about glinner allowed to stand.

To be better than a man?!?
Shock horror I don't think I can.
I could curl out turds of gold,
But that miracle'd be old
Cause I'm a woman, cunty type
And in that ilk, there is no hype.

Are they having their allotted two minutes of hate for the day.

God if only it was two minutes. Poor Glinner.

Haha I'd like a copy once its done!