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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Ode to Nicola

296 replies

TerfranosaurusVagina · 28/12/2022 01:04

Feminist to your fingertips
So many lies are passing your lips
Trans Activist to your toenails
Innumerable safeguard fails
Misogynist to your merkin
Policies are tear jerkin'
Destroyer of womens rights
You're so superior, yet shite

But most of all... you're a hypocrite

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
BordoisAgain · 28/12/2022 11:31

RedAndBlueStripedGolfingUmbrella · 28/12/2022 11:12

? I don't just sling shit,. think you're thinking of someone else?

Yeah, that'll be why your initial contribution to this thread was a shitty comment

Lol, wtf, etc. etc.

Boiledbeetle · 28/12/2022 11:52

whilst we await Reds contribution, the following is Nicola adjacent as in it would never have been written if she hadn't screwed us over

I was messing around on ChatGPT or whatever it's called. I tried to get it to write a merkin poem but it refused to because it was a naughty word. So I asked it to do me one on wigs, which it happily produced.

Now obviously I've had to do some major editorial changes and rewrites but here's the Artificial Intelligence and mine's poem of merkins.

ELAINE AND HER MERKIN

A merkin

A coat of many hues
A symbol of change

A symbol of woman

A way to fight
A way to choose

A tool for self-expression

It highlights the plight
It focuses the woman

It tells a story

It sets the mood
It finds its place

In history

In art
In culture

It can be long
It can be short
It can be straight
It can be curled
It can be wild
It can be fun

It can be Parliament

It changes with the seasons
With the trends

It follows the beat
It leads the way

It speaks to the soul

It helps us find ourselves
Every single day

So here's to the merkin
In all its glory, and hue

May it bring joy,
May it bring fun
May it be a source of inspiration

And may it bring justice
For all who wear it.

Women Won’t Wheesht

StressedToTheMaxxx · 28/12/2022 11:53

This thread is bonkers. I'm loving it 😂

FrancescaContini · 28/12/2022 12:09

@Boiledbeetle your most recent contribution is FABULOUS 😊

TerfranosaurusVagina · 28/12/2022 12:26

@RedAndBlueStripedGolfingUmbrella
Are you a lady or are you a fella?
Either way it dont really matter
Though if you're going to add to the chatter
Put some thought in before just plopping;
"Be kind, be kind" handmaidens stropping
Gets quite boring after an hour
In fact its lost all of its power
Hoarding dinosaurs have awoken
And if you don't like whats being spoken
May I suggest you have a think
This is not just blue should be pink
Laydee dicks in female spaces
Are corrupt! These are quiet places
There's no witnesses to disorder
To prevent rape, assault and murder.
This will never happen, you tell us
There's no harm in welcoming phallus.
From shelters to even just swimming,
Include men and you're excluding women.

OP posts:
Florissant · 28/12/2022 12:27

Fabulous poems!

I always scroll past the posts of those who criticise others but never produce anything of their own to be critiqued.

Clymene · 28/12/2022 12:28

Splendid work wims! Poor sad Nicola

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 28/12/2022 12:28

RedAndBlueStripedGolfingUmbrella · 28/12/2022 02:04

WTF 🤣
Bet she's devastated. She'll wake up tomorrow morning, see these odes and cry into her cornflakes.

hahaha quite!

beastlyslumber · 28/12/2022 12:30

These are brilliant! I shall ponder a creation of my own...

Boiledbeetle · 28/12/2022 12:36

@TerfranosaurusVagina your most recent piece...👏👏👏🌹

BordoisAgain · 28/12/2022 12:39

Lol, wtf, etc.

Ode to Nicola
TerfranosaurusVagina · 28/12/2022 12:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Waitwhat23 · 28/12/2022 12:41

Nicola Sturgeon,
Crying into her cornflakes
Makes them all salty.

TerfranosaurusVagina · 28/12/2022 12:46

Boiledbeetle · 28/12/2022 02:32

Questions from the audience

Do you think about us now?
Did you consider us before?
Will you remember on your death bed?
Will our faces come to the fore?

The good you could have done
The legacy to be left
You could have helped your country
Instead of leaving half of us bereft

We think about US now
We considered ALL before
But I guess we didn't swing our dicks enough
And now will suffer evermore

You betrayed us
You abandoned us
You put you up front and centre
The amazing Nicola, the great experimenter

You're the leader of a country
And you just pushed half under a bus
You're a disgrace to your country
And I hope it haunts you to the end, as it will for all of us.

This is excellent. It sounds like its got a tune to sing it to!

OP posts:
Waitwhat23 · 28/12/2022 12:49

Boiled's poem sounds like it should be sung to the tune of 'do you hear the people sing' from Les Mis.

WomenofExtremes · 28/12/2022 12:49

I've already posted this on this site but meh the more threads the merrier. plus I can take the opportunity to correct the mistakes I noticed after I posted it originally the other day.

This was written after Nicola and her cronies abandoned us and it's what we need to remember going forward, no matter our differences we are all WOMAN. We lose that in the petty politics and it's harming us. We have to come together.

WOMEN OF EXTREMES

From Barbies to GI Joe we are woman
From high heels to rigger boots we are woman
From flat chested to buxom we are woman
From mother of six to barren with nil we are woman
From “3 days, very light” to “36 days now, still flooding” we are woman
From homeless with nothing to millionaires row we are woman
From far left to far right we are woman
From pro choice to pro life we are woman
From (pick religion of choice) to no God at all we are woman
From only does cock to only does cunt we are woman
From all walks of life and from all points of view we are woman
From time of conception to moment of death WE ARE WOMAN

You wonderful women, every single one of you.

Except Nicola, she can fucking do one.

Right off to change names before I forget.

ArcaneWireless · 28/12/2022 12:50

I can’t do it I can’t do it
We’ve surely had about enough
No places are safe spaces
The woman
speaks a lot of guff
Fucks flying
She’s trying
Hard to convince us all she wasn’t christened Brian.
I can’t do it. I won’t do it tonight.

I can’t do it I can’t do it
The woman surely went too far
Rights flying, they’re dying
I’m gonna have to burn my bra
She’s mastered
Being a bastard
The only excuse for this is that she’s bloody plastered
I can’t do it. I can’t do it tonight.

CuriousEats · 28/12/2022 12:50

Waitwhat23 · 28/12/2022 12:41

Nicola Sturgeon,
Crying into her cornflakes
Makes them all salty.

I know that the scottish porridge
Should be made with a pinch of salt
But Nicola's brined her cornflakes
For she knows deep down shes at fault

Waitwhat23 · 28/12/2022 12:51

I saw this on Twitter and thought it was excellent -

Ode to Nicola
FrancescaContini · 28/12/2022 12:53

ArcaneWireless · 28/12/2022 12:50

I can’t do it I can’t do it
We’ve surely had about enough
No places are safe spaces
The woman
speaks a lot of guff
Fucks flying
She’s trying
Hard to convince us all she wasn’t christened Brian.
I can’t do it. I won’t do it tonight.

I can’t do it I can’t do it
The woman surely went too far
Rights flying, they’re dying
I’m gonna have to burn my bra
She’s mastered
Being a bastard
The only excuse for this is that she’s bloody plastered
I can’t do it. I can’t do it tonight.

Superb! I can picture Victoria as I read this…

Boiledbeetle · 28/12/2022 13:01

CuriousEats · 28/12/2022 12:50

I know that the scottish porridge
Should be made with a pinch of salt
But Nicola's brined her cornflakes
For she knows deep down shes at fault

Oh that was me I emptied the pot
A shaker of salt and a quick glob of snot
I've let it congeal and it's sat on the hob
Anyone up for shoving the lot down her gob?

Sazzasez · 28/12/2022 13:03

Nicola, oh Nicola
say have you met Nicola?
Nicola the Men’s Rights Lady?

She has no time for rape survivors
Power and pandering are her drivers

Nicola oh Nicola, few could be trickier
Oh Nicola the Queen of DARVO
At her back is the money of Pharma shills
And selling out women’s rights sure pays the bills
And proudly above it the saltire flag thrills
painted pink & blue for Nicola.

beastlyslumber · 28/12/2022 13:12

What do you get when you vote for Nicola?
You get a lot of pain, hurt and sorrow
And men in your rape refuge tomorrow
I'll never vote for her again
She'll never lead Scotland again

What do you get when you throw out laws
Meant to keep women and children safe?
You get a lot of violence, trauma and rape
We'll never vote her in again
History will put her in the rubbish bin

CuriousEats · 28/12/2022 13:12

Boiledbeetle · 28/12/2022 13:01

Oh that was me I emptied the pot
A shaker of salt and a quick glob of snot
I've let it congeal and it's sat on the hob
Anyone up for shoving the lot down her gob?

I'll do it, I'll do it! I'll dress up as a TRA
In fluffy heels and a face full of slap and wearing just a bra.
She'll meet me, she'll have to! The most oppresséd bunch!
With a simpering smile and a falsetto voice, I'll serve it up for lunch.

beastlyslumber · 28/12/2022 13:15

MRA, it's easy because they say
A man is a woman now, so all bow down
It's okay for MRAs

123, your safeguards are so easy
to throw in the bin, it's not a sin
123 cos we're all 'women'