Ode to Nicola

[TerfranosaurusVagina]

Feminist to your fingertips
So many lies are passing your lips
Trans Activist to your toenails
Innumerable safeguard fails
Misogynist to your merkin
Policies are tear jerkin'
Destroyer of womens rights
You're so superior, yet shite

But most of all... you're a hypocrite

So let me see..by the rules of the current game
I'd be the best of all men.. Of course i'd revel the fame
I'd build magnificent buildings and show off my collection of tools
I'd be the big bollocks and leave real men for fools

But I've no need to change from the woman I am
I've already done that WITHOUT being a man.

Excellent! Thanks for that.

Indeed my friend, I've grown a child
From cytoblast to newborn
What male born twat can compete with that
Though it doesnt prevent their scorn.

Could be a while for the next verse as got to the third line and laughed.

Sigh

Must go do the merkin lady's pelvic exercises

😂it doesnt compare with your porridge snot globs though

And oops I meant Blastocyst not Cytoblast 🤦‍♀️
Easily done

Queen Nicola did bow,
to those who knew how,
to manipulate and stipulate,
until they reached checkmate,
By stealth they reached their goal
but it is women that take the toll.

Numpties like Chapman saying 'sex isn't binary',
Doesn't it give you a wee bit of clarity
That you've hitched your cart to a horse of insanity.
Because 'The Feral Potato' despises wims,
And yet you dance to all of his whims,
Betraying the women who all chapped and clapped for you,
You say 'no, not valid' and cede all our spaces to
The men who hate us and wear women costume
You're dancing away to their unpleasant tune.
Sense will return at some time but yet,
We'll never forgive and we'll never forget

To recap, if I remember correctly the wonderful OP wrote a poem that was deleted. It mentioned cornfakes…

Waitwhat23
Nicola Sturgeon,
Crying into her cornflakes
Makes them all salty.

CuriousEats
I know that the Scottish porridge
Should be made with a pinch of salt
But Nicola's brined her cornflakes
For she knows deep down she’s at fault

Boiledbeetle
Oh that was me I emptied the pot
A shaker of salt and a quick glob of snot
I've let it congeal and it's sat on the hob
Anyone up for shoving the lot down her gob?

CuriousEats
I'll do it, I'll do it! I'll dress up as a TRA
In fluffy heels and a face full of slap and wearing just a bra.
She'll meet me, she'll have to! The most oppressed bunch!
With a simpering smile and a falsetto voice, I'll serve it up for lunch.

Boiledbeetle
That’s Nicola stuffed
In more ways than one
Because we're just beginning
The battles still to be won.

CuriousEats
Her party is fey
Thanks to them/they
Oh, and per, ve,
It, xe, zie and fae
(Spot the sensible pronoun)

Boiledbeetle
Hmmmmmm....nope I can't get those ridiculous pronouns out of my head
If this pronoun thing is going to be life, ughhhhhhhh I'd rather be dead
Or for a much safer option can I have some fun with this dead quick
my pronouns are Nicola/I/hate/you/you/fucking/gigantic/big/dick

CuriousEats
Some people are so fussy
We get their pronouns right
'My faer is only singular'
They strop with all their might
Its pitiful they can't see
How ironic it all is
When they refuse to hear that I'm
Just 'woman' with no 'cis'

Boiledbeetle
No woman without cis you mean
To be woman must be cis or tran
How dare you try to define yourself
Do you think you're better than a man?

CuriousEats
To be better than a man?!?
Shock horror I don't think I can.
I could curl out turds of gold,
But that miracle'd be old
Cause I'm a woman, cunty type
And in that ilk, there is no hype

Boiledbeetle
So let me see..by the rules of the current game
I'd be the best of all men.. Of course I’d revel the fame
I'd build magnificent buildings and show off my collection of tools
I'd be the big bollocks and leave real men for fools
But I've no need to change from the woman I am
I've already done that WITHOUT being a man.

CuriousEats
Indeed my friend, I've grown a child
From Blastocyst to newborn
What male born twat can compete with that
Though it doesn’t prevent their scorn.

Boiledbeetle
Whereas I’m as barren as them who would be me
Still the periods came 40 years way too freely
Does a knackered female reproductive system make me a man?

And does an artificial vaginal cavity, cervix and uterus in him make him a mam?
(Sorry no way that was going to work well in a poem,
a rather wordy verse from me)

Sad that I'm having to archive posts on this thread...

Yeah considering some of the shit thrown at us this evening by a passing stranger to these parts.

I feel there may be a poem in me, in all of us entitled Be Polite based on a line from our passing friend.

Sadly as there's not many trans ppl here, but feel free to go to trans spaces (be polite) and ask on these topics.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

@Waitwhat23

Feral potato

Sniggers

'Be polite'
Avert your eyes
Bow your head
Sit nice.

Speak gently
Play quietly
'Boys will be boys!'
And girls will 'be kind'.

What shite.

Raise your voice
Wave the flag
Take a stand
Women won't wheesht.

Ooh come on whilst i was putting my pyjamas on.

cow bag

@Waitwhat23 👏

BE POLITE IN OTHER PEOPLE'S SPACES

Be polite
YOU FUCKING TERF

Be polite
YOU BIGOT

Be polite
YOU CIS

Be polite
THESE HANDS DON'T DISCRIMINATE

Be polite
Be polite

NO FUCK OFF

That is scarily accurate.

Yeah not so much a poem as a list of recent events on the internet and a chance to use the bigly letters words wisely after using them to scream the "by the power of grayskull" earlier.

but it is women that take the toll.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9

Nothing ever changes does it

Ooh, the 80's nostalgia...

That scared the shit out of me as I tried to focus properly

@RedAndBlueStripedGolfingUmbrella

Not my finest, but the hour is late the candle is nearly burned and I have still to make it up the stairs with my candlestick

MY NEW BEST FRIEND

I have a pet Red and I wonder where she's at
Maybe the duck (different thread, different joke) pond
With that funny furry blond?
Or I wonder if my Red is off humping the cat?

Women won't wheesht
Sex? Not a movable feast
We're defined by biology
Not ideology

Be Polite

Be polite, be kind, be kind,
No critical thinking here; be blind
Ladydicks come out to play
Uncomfortable? Just look away.
Shoved into a toilet stall
Nothing to see here, not at all.

Rape and death threats, doxxing too
To be expected for Terven crew.
Female athletes lose their prize
To 100% ladyguys.
Be inclusive, mumsnet sillies!
#RealWomenTotesHaveWillies

They can piss and scream and shout
Because they have politick clout.
Raping with impunity -
Saints of the community
Sit down, shut up, be kind, be kind,
Make effing way for Transwomankind