Ode to Nicola

[TerfranosaurusVagina]

Feminist to your fingertips
So many lies are passing your lips
Trans Activist to your toenails
Innumerable safeguard fails
Misogynist to your merkin
Policies are tear jerkin'
Destroyer of womens rights
You're so superior, yet shite

But most of all... you're a hypocrite

Love it, Boiledbeetle. Wishing you a fantastic 2023.

You'll probably like this, from the wonderful women at FWS

(P.S. I sort of feel like we should have a special handshake or signal for women won't wheesht - a bit like the Mockingjay symbol in the Hunger Games).

HAPPY New year all xxx

Ooh bonus I've just realised that having read the poem with brackets bit, if you then read it again and ignore the bracketed but it only bloody does rhyme, and scans OK.

Bonus

And only minutes into the new year and I'm already winning at life. Plus I've got a purring cat acting as a foot warmer.

Life is good.

night night

Boiled

Happy new year and good night

Happy New Year

2024 Happy new year!

Shit already? I thought I only dozed off for a minute.

Have you been at the sherry🍷

FINAL PUSH

There is 600 left to go
To show how the anger does grow
The women are pissed
Because Nicola hissed
You are so much lesser than a man
So can we do this? Yes we can

Because

WOMEN WON'T WHEEST

Happy 2022 🤣

You having trouble with the video remote, it's impossible to get it to stop at the right point. You need to fast forward a tadge.

We will wait.

Can't wait for you to regale us with what happened this year.

Lottery numbers, you remembered to make a note of all this year's stunning and brave winning numbers right?

This post is sponsored by the poster's love of Yorkshire Tea.

Many tea bags lost their life in the writing of this this poem and post and we should pause a moment to remember the gallantry of those that have fallen (into the cup of boiled water).

So, as I start on my, God knows but quite a lot and I'm not going to count the used bags blghhhh, nth cup of tea this morning. I remembered a poem that I used over the summer to blag some free tea bags, (it worked 240 of their wonderful paper bags of absolute heaven).

So with some slight tweaks to make it more topical I give you

PAPER BAGS - An ode to Yorkshire Tea

MY PERFECT MAN

Potent
Agreeable
Pleasant
Elegant
Reliable

Bronzed
Accommodating
Gorgeous
Superlative

Huh! Who knew!

My perfect man identifies as a Yorkshire Tea bag.

It is with great sorrow that I have to inform you of the loss of life of Corporal Tea Bag in a friendly fire incident during the writing of the last post.

After pressing post I returned to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and discovered that in my haste to be witty I accidentally left the box of tea bags open and Corporal Bag, having decided to identify as a teaspoon, accidentally fell into the boiled cup of water that was unattended on the counter top.

I take full responsibility for this wasteful and totally unnecessary loss of life. I apologise to his family and friends and absolutely guarantee that lessons have been learnt.

Going forward safeguarding of vulnerable confused members of our community will be our top priority.

RIP CORPORAL TEA BAG

2023: Paused in right place 🍾

Happy 2023,
Nicola, I say to ye,
please stop talking shite,
supporting pervs in plain sight,
Make your new year resolution be,
to protect women like you and me.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9

🍫now you've got the video to the right spot...chocolate?

and

💜for the poem.

So, how did this year pan out? or had you already had too much sherry and fell asleep five minutes in and snored til the end of the video until the bells rang for 2024 woke you

My personal slave
Her excuses gave
Her head is splitting
(From feathers spitting,
Her magnificent stance
On renaming nonce
Has made me quite proud
Though don't quote me aloud)

My Beetle she begs
Someone like LangCleg
Can write us a verse -
The wait has got terse
Queer men in a frock,
With pronouns to mock;
Nic's ears to scorch;
l pass on her torch.

@TerfranosaurusVagina Have you been doing my cats dictation again?

Send him home will you I need him to warm my toes

if you see me anywhere tell me to go bed The head is pounding.

night night

IT'S MY PUSSY GET YOUR HANDS OFF

I suspect OP enticed him with her famous mouse curry
Well, he's handsome, and luscious, and all soft and furry

He went off to OPs to help write a poem
But OP I do miss him, so tell him "Get going"

Then I can get back to being sat at my table
And write the best poems that I'm possibly able

But I can't just yet as I've got really cold feet
I need the cat here, to lie on them, I need his heat

Mister Fluff get yourself home, you dirty stop out.
Then I can go back to doing some "Nicola shout"

See, I need my cat, won't someone think of my pussy!

Came for the tea, stayed for a poem or two

Boiledbeetle's tea bag poem informed me of this thread
With a warning to be kind if I'd like to keep my head
I need be careful with my words for this post to live
So "NIcola you FUCKING CUNT, those rights weren't yours to give"

Now I'm here because the klaxon sounded on a thread
The words writ large, in bigly letters, designed to kill it dead
The regular amongst us break and nip to the off-licence
Whist the TRA sits wondering about literal

CLITORAL VIOLENCE

REAL WOMEN VISIT TOILETS IN GROUPS

We have to pass the gents, and are scared, of the men who lurk by the door
With their cocks out, quite freely, in all their galore.

So we wait, until there's six of us, and all go as a team
Because also, in the ladies, the woman aren't as kind as they might seem.

They have a go. They tut, or scream. And can sound rather shrill
as they look in shock, at my cock, as I get my sexual thrill.

Of course, we have been offered new third spaces, to be accommodating
But we've screwed our nose at those, as they aren't exactly validating.

But have no fear, us real woman, have one more card to play
If we are really really desperate we'll pee anywhere anyway.

Because we aren't actually really scared. We just like getting our sexual kicks
From intimidating women with our beautiful lady dicks.

So I've just put my self in a time out as I can't say what I want to on a thread without getting banned So I'm letting out out here

THE FALL AND RISE OF WOMAN

DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCREAM?
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCREAM
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCREA
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCRE
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCR
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SC
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME S
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME
DOES ANYONE HEAR M
DOES ANYONE HEAR
DOES ANYONE HEA
DOES ANYONE HE
DOES ANYONE H
DOES ANYONE
DOES ANYON
DOES ANYO
DOES ANY
DOES AN
DOES A
DOES
DOE
DO
D
DO
DOE
DOES
DOES A
DOES AN
DOES ANY
DOES ANYO
DOES ANYON
DOES ANYONE
DOES ANYONE H
DOES ANYONE HE
DOES ANYONE HEA
DOES ANYONE HEAR
DOES ANYONE HEAR M
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME S
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SC
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCR
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCRE
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCREA
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCREAM
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCREAM?

WE DO

HEAR OUR SCREAM

WOMEN WON'T WHEEST

Keep letting it out here!

Lovely gentle few days off 😃
p
Merkin,

A merkin used to cover rot,
Now shocked those in power,
although they don’t give a jot,
about a girl in shower,
who feels uneasy next to a man,
who is there because he can.

MORE TEA VICAR?

I've just been on a thread, and had a decent time.
There are posters there, who disagree, who's views don't really chime.
But have stayed a while, and took a risk. It's been truly quite sublime.

Because, you'll never guess..they've been happy, to stay a while, and chat.
There's been none of the hissy fitting, and constant to and fro back chat.
No, it's been refreshing to just talk. To shoot the breeze. And that. Be.That.

The conversation has been interesting, on topic, and slightly off.
There's been lots of "I agree" and " yes, but, have you maybe thought of... "
But no one's, I think, been deleted, for slagging a poster off.

So, if this is 2023, then I say yes to bliss.
Sod bloody last year. Let's have some more of this.
To the poster who invoked this poem I give you a great big kiss.💋

Repeal the Gender Recognition Act 2004

10 000

BUT

There is 90 000 still left to go

To show how the anger does grow

The women are pissed

Because Nicola hissed

You are so much lesser than a man

So can we do this? Yes we can

Because

WOMEN WON'T WHEEST

THE MAP OF RAGE

The Map of Rage reached 10 000, unfortunately still with two greyed out constituencies (I'm sure they were busy and will do it tomorrow) just after 1am this morning. This little blip would have disappeared into the depths of history had we not spent the last week highlighting it at every opportunity.

In honour of our two missing constituencies on the Map of Rage, and to ensure their names are remembered through history the OP @ArabellaScott posted this on her thread.

I am unashamedly posting it having discovered I'm not actually getting paid for doing her thread upkeep.

Admittedly I never asked her if she minded me barging in to her thread and just taking control of the maps shot but meh, and I'll count the poem as payment and call us even.

And as for the other 90 000 updates and map shots...... Yeah, about that, don't call me, I'll call you.

And if you are reading this and live in the following two places...WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WE'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU. YOU DON'T ANSWER YOUR PHONE, WE'VE TRIED TWEETING YOU!!

UNBELIEVABLE!

But you've still got another 90 000 to make amends. Get signing.

ArabellaScott · 3rd Jan 2023 13:17

In the year 2525
If man is still alive
If woman can survive
They may find-

Harrow East
and Ilford South
Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies
Everything you think, do, and say
Is in the petition you ignored today