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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Ode to Nicola

296 replies

TerfranosaurusVagina · 28/12/2022 01:04

Feminist to your fingertips
So many lies are passing your lips
Trans Activist to your toenails
Innumerable safeguard fails
Misogynist to your merkin
Policies are tear jerkin'
Destroyer of womens rights
You're so superior, yet shite

But most of all... you're a hypocrite

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
ArabellaScott · 28/12/2022 20:15

@beastlyslumber 👏

ArcaneWireless · 28/12/2022 20:23

@beastlyslumber

Brava 👏🏼

Boiledbeetle · 28/12/2022 20:25

@beastlyslumber I've just had to go read the original.

I prefer yours.

beastlyslumber · 28/12/2022 22:22

Ah, I shall take a small and modest bow Flowers

xalo · 28/12/2022 22:33

@beastlyslumber brilliant!!

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 28/12/2022 22:35

Nicola with all her ken,
bent over backwards for the men.
It’s quite safe so she said,
now women’s rights are totally dead
in the water, in the school,
Men in women’s prisons
that’s the rule.
Free to stare and intimidate
No women safe in Scotland’s state.

puffyisgood · 28/12/2022 22:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

RealFeminist · 28/12/2022 23:15

READ MA LIPS
I LIE TAE MAH FINGERTIPS

NEVER MIND SHAKIRA'S HIPS
IF IT TAKS A THREE LINE WHIP

AH'LL TELL YES WHIT A WOMAN IS:

ITS A FEELIN; A MAN'S WILL
A NAME ON A GAS BILL

ITS LIPSTICK AND SHORT SKIRTS
AND WEE DOTTY LOVEHEARTS

ITS WHATEVER HE SAYS IT IS.

atomsgirl · 28/12/2022 23:20

I haven't tried this sort of thing in years! But this is my attempt:

Nicola is not into womens rights
So the women are going to fight
With all their mite
In the hope that Nicola will take flight
In the dead of night
To make everything alright.

TheBiologyStupid · 28/12/2022 23:23

beastlyslumber · 28/12/2022 19:58

When I am a trans woman I shall not wear purple,
Or white or green because they are fascist colours which exclude me
And I shall spend my pension on baseball bats and lingerie
And malicious lawsuits, and say I've no money for rent.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I see a woman
And try to trip her up and follow her into shops
And run my ladystick along the public railings
And make up for the unfemininity of my youth.

I shall go out in my stilletoes in the rain,
And scream in women's faces when they try to talk
And learn to spit.

And I've already started practicing now
So no one can say they're shocked or surprised,
When suddenly I am in their changing rooms with my dick out.

Excellent! An old friend's mum used to quote the opening line, but I haven't thought about the poem in donkey's years.

silverclock222 · 28/12/2022 23:30

Oh Nicola you're such a prick
Like a woman ever had a dick!
A man wi a fanny, naw it just canne,
Yer causing such an awfi rammy!

Sazzasez · 29/12/2022 00:20

@beastlyslumber

i take my imaginary hat off to you! That’s very good.

Ramblingnamechanger · 29/12/2022 10:12

Please can these be collated, maybe sold for campaigning funds?

FlirtsWithRhinos · 29/12/2022 10:29

@RealFeminist

👏👏👏👏

Boiledbeetle · 29/12/2022 10:32

Ramblingnamechanger · 29/12/2022 10:12

Please can these be collated, maybe sold for campaigning funds?

Ooh good idea, after all we are all magnificent poets, regardless of what Red thinks.

And as long as you realise when I do finally get around to publishing a book of poems, along with the stage play about my life, and my autobiography, mine are going in it.

Including the multi poster salt and snot porridge one.

Dodecaheidyin · 29/12/2022 10:46

I'm sorely tempted to write to Poetry Please on Radio 4 and ask them to do an extended special for Hogmanay just about this thread 😎

Boiledbeetle · 29/12/2022 10:49

And can I just say Red as we all know you're reading......

woman up and give us a poem.

pretty please.

With a cherry on top.

Boiledbeetle · 29/12/2022 10:53

Dodecaheidyin · 29/12/2022 10:46

I'm sorely tempted to write to Poetry Please on Radio 4 and ask them to do an extended special for Hogmanay just about this thread 😎

working Title: Women muse on the Nicola problem

Boiledbeetle · 29/12/2022 11:17

LISTEN TO ME

Nicola... NICOLA!

Oh, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

You've SACRIFICED DAUGHTERS

In favour of son???

You've OPENED UP WOMANHOOD

TO all of the MEN!

YOU'RE A TRAITOR TO WOMEN

Which you bloody well ken!

RealFeminist · 29/12/2022 11:46

NO AHVE NO.

AHVE ALIGNED WI BEST PRACTISE
IN MALTA, WHREEVER THAT IS

AND RELEASED THE LADYPEEN
FAE THE PRISON O THE UNSEEN

INTAE GLIMMERIN SUNLIGHT
AND STRAIGHT ONTAE NEWSNIGHT

RedAndBlueStripedGolfingUmbrella · 29/12/2022 11:59

And can I just say Red as we all know you're reading......

woman up and give us a poem.

Sorry, I've got the giggles too much - this whole thread (especially the shouty caps ones) reminds me of that Friends episode 😂
"Chapter one - my First Period.
NO INTERMISSION AS IN LIFE YOU GET NO INTERMISSION, PEOPLE!!!!!!
WHY DID HE LEAVE ME?!?!
I don't know, you sound lovely 😂

Boiledbeetle · 29/12/2022 12:00

Knew you were reading

Xx

Tinysoxxx · 29/12/2022 12:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ArabellaScott · 29/12/2022 13:08

each line a perfect anagram

😲

Boiledbeetle · 29/12/2022 13:08

@Tinysoxxx How? How do you do that??💐