Ode to Nicola

[TerfranosaurusVagina]

Feminist to your fingertips
So many lies are passing your lips
Trans Activist to your toenails
Innumerable safeguard fails
Misogynist to your merkin
Policies are tear jerkin'
Destroyer of womens rights
You're so superior, yet shite

But most of all... you're a hypocrite

Whenever Nicola comes to mind, it's this image I see in my head I'm afraid. Oops. The similarity is just uncanny. Oh please that someone has better photoshop skills than me and can copy her actual face in.

Aye. Self styled bitchfinder general.

Come and find me hen. I’m that fat, I’ll burn for bastard days and be a beacon for women across the land.

Women's and Children Department

Sat there in the waiting room, waiting for a scan
Everyone a woman, though a few had brought their man
You could tell which ones were pregnant and none of them a man
It was the women with the bellies on the way in for their scan.

There was once a blond man in London
Who thought ruling would be some fun
So he lied and bullied and cajoled
‘Till out of a Union Britain rolled
So he could seize the crown
And turn his frown upside down
Unfortunately this bodged the country
Nurses and teachers now need meals for free
No one can even afford energy
But Boris has great tales to tell over tea
Nicola had watched the whole thing
And liked the look of everything
“This is genuis” thought she,
“Divide the country,
then everyone will vote for me!
But, how best to create more unrest?
How to divide the electorate into two,
and confuse ‘till they don’t know what is true?”
Nicola mused and Nicola planned
She decided the country must be unmanned
The country that gave kilts to the world
Must now claim a skirt = you’re a girl
Let men wander where they will
Rapists in women’s prisons? Sure why not
As long as Nicola gets her plot
“A vote for me is a vote for the free”
Nicola yells
“And you’re a witch if you disagree!
Who probably smells.”
Someone said something about free speech
So Nicola made sure that was out of reach
“No vote can possibly be free
Everyone must vote for me
Stop the kids learning history
And everyone tell:
Authoritarianism always ends well”

Oh scourge of Scotland
When will we see your likes again
You fought and died for
Not women but mostly men
And stood against them,
The proud women’s army
And sent them homeward
To vote again

The women swear now
And space is full of men and still
Our rights are not lost now
Believe that shite if you will
You stood against them
A proud women’s army
You sent them homeward
Tae vote again

Those days are past now
And in the past they must remain
But we will all rise now
And be SNP free again
We’ll stand against ye
Our proud women’s army
We’ll send you homeward
Tae think again.

Ye cannae shove all women aff the bus
No ye cannae shove all women aff the bus
Ye might’ve shoved your granny
Ye chicken arse mouthed fanny
But ye winnae shove all women aff the bus

@Oher love it especially

The country that gave kilts to the world
Must now claim a skirt = you’re a girl

It's a parallel universe in Nicola's head where men in skirts in Scotland never happened.

FOR CENTURIES

@ArcaneWireless loving your work.

Who knew! Nicola, a muse to women's poetry.

If facts and figures set you free
Then LISTEN to biology
We're humans! Mammals! Bloody prat!
Not clownfish mums or seahorse dads.
And besides, yes, they DO change sex
They swap a dick between their pecs*
For egg making apparatus
To give them their female status
They've not gone beneath the knife
To lop off cocks and wreck their life.
Its what happens naturally
For them to start a family.
They don't go on a year long bender
Then decide to change their gender
Please note, you can't create a baby
From arm grafts - not even maybe
Neither from a hairy hole
Initiate maternal role.
Though it may suit AGPs wish
We are mammals, not some fish.

*I know, I know, you pedantics
Thats not where men fish keep their dicks
In fact they do not have that organ
Don't rant at me like Piers Morgan
It sounded right so it went in
In fact some male fish have a fin
With hooks and claws and ridgey spines
Like underwater porcupines
Thats their dick equivalent
Digression over, hear my vent;
This is not the clownfish here,
Whose breeding life is held so dear
By aggressive TRAs
With minds that work in effed up ways

CONSEQUENCES

Those in cells with men
We cry for you

Those not on the podium
We cry for you

Those no longer in your job
We cry for you

Those vilified on line
We cry for you

Those who want to pee in peace
We cry for you

Those no longer here to fight the fight
We cry for you

To all you women in Scotland now
I cry for you.

Boiled xxx

@TheBiologyStupid ❤

There once was a woman in Scotland
Who pushed through a bill, a real botched one,
"Feminist to her tips"
Said the lies on her lips,
So Elaine flashed her (faux) front bottom

@TheBiologyStupid Nooooooooooo!

now I'm really regretting not screen shotting yours

That Nicola stuffed
in more ways than one
because we're just beginning
The battles still to be won.

RIGHT YOUS ARE ALL FOR IT
AHM CALLIN THE POLIS

YE CANNAE JUST HATE CRIME AT WILL.

I ADVISE YE NO RISK IT
ITS TAKIN THE BISCUIT

TAE WAX ON WI OOT CHECKIN OER

LADYRAP THATS NO SCRIPTIT
THATS SWEARY AND PISS RIPPED

AND HUSNAE BEEN CLEARED BY A MAN

QUIT WI THE WRONGTHINK
IF YE DINNAE WANT FRISKIT

BY A BOABBY WI UNCERTAIN PRONOUNS

😍

[heart eyes] at RealFeminist.

@RealFeminist 💐

😍@RealFeminist

Can’t compete with you all… brilliant and funny thread, thank you

When I am a trans woman I shall not wear purple,
Or white or green because they are fascist colours which exclude me
And I shall spend my pension on baseball bats and lingerie
And malicious lawsuits, and say I've no money for rent.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I see a woman
And try to trip her up and follow her into shops
And run my ladystick along the public railings
And make up for the unfemininity of my youth.

I shall go out in my stilletoes in the rain,
And scream in women's faces when they try to talk
And learn to spit.

And I've already started practicing now
So no one can say they're shocked or surprised,
When suddenly I am in their changing rooms with my dick out.

@beastlyslumber Wow!💐

@beastlyslumber Fantastic! Love it.

Her party is fey
Thanks to them/they
Oh, and per, ve,
It, xe, zie and fae

(Spot the sensible pronoun)