Ode to Nicola

[TerfranosaurusVagina]

Feminist to your fingertips
So many lies are passing your lips
Trans Activist to your toenails
Innumerable safeguard fails
Misogynist to your merkin
Policies are tear jerkin'
Destroyer of womens rights
You're so superior, yet shite

But most of all... you're a hypocrite

God I searched everywhere for my Red, finally found her sat downstairs

The cat looked traumatised mind.

@RedAndBlueStripedGolfingUmbrella

Bet you thought that poem was about you.😉

DELETED

This poem has been deleted

We've had a LOT of reports.

We have concerns over your intentions
(in writing the truth)

There are also many posts on this thread
which break our Talk Guidelines.

We will be deleting them shortly.

Be inclusive, mumsnet sillies!

@TerfranosaurusVagina

Yeah that was nice wasnt it! Be polite my arse.

Roses are red, violets are blue, fuck off Nicola, you disingenuous, lying fucking twat.

Hey wait!! I hadn't finished yet!
I really don't want to regret
Not having the finalmost say
(Yes, make of me what you may)

No kids? No probs, if you've a pussy
You're XX, you're one of us, see
No I don't mean neo-vaginas
(Which have to be treated like china)

Real wims are socialised
Sit down, shut up, we are chastised
And just like life, as in this poem
The brave and stunning type are so damned obstinate, they just dont seem to go in

@CuriousEats Ooh I hadn't finished i was just getting sick of having to read it bottom up.

As you were but I am truly off to bed now as the cat is giving me evils. He should have had his night time worship by now.

New signage wiz
This space is

women only

(with a yoni)

Gah my Bigly Words allowance ran out halfway through. Cruel. Literal violence!

You did the pee dance twice didn't you!

Statement about my poem deleted:

I would just like to make it clear that no actual poems were deleted in the warped fantasies of my fevered mind.

It was a stunt poem, and whilst he did bang his penis on the way out of the door from the ladies, he shouldn't have had it out in the workplace anyway.

inspiration was taken from this gem

No, I coughed.
It's even more stingy than my data allowance.

It was a stunt poem, and whilst he did bang his penis on the way out of the door from the ladies, he shouldn't have had it out in the workplace anyway.

Boiled, you win the thread!

While posting on this board, I gave myself a fright
I posted as CuriousEats (with the massive overbite)
I intended to be Terfy, your cuddly dinosaur
But I missed a step, I cocked it up, so please extend a claw.

I never intended to be duplicitous
Or intentionaly deceive you (Unlike some of us)
I can be 2 purples (or greens or whites), I can.
But whate'er I am, I'll fight the fight gainst the tartan TRAliban.

<stomps off to find a fresh username>

BOILED STATEMENT

I am shocked.shocked I tell you that such duplicitous actions happened here, in our very midst. On our thread

Obviously as soon as I was informed of the sock puppetry I immediately shredded my entire house and sent all electronic devices to landfill after hitting the hard drives with a hammer.

I have never had any emails or pm conversations with this person outside of this thread.

I was unaware of anything untoward despite the OP making me aware of the issue at the earliest opportunity.

I did in no way help her to deceive you. Well.....maybe just a ......erm nope no deception here.

I am an innocent victim In this whole escapade.

Nope! Not me. Nothing. I know nothing to do with this despite the frequency of our communications.

There still be no throwing under the bus from me because I knew nothing.

No evidence you see. No one told me!

end statements

Gets in car screeches off to Thailand to live my best life

BOILED SUPPLEMENTAL STATEMENT

I have at this time been advised by my legal team to shut up, but as I just can't help myself I would just like to deny the rumours swirling on Twitter about a connection I have with an earlier poster in this thread. Whilst I do know @WomenofExtremes this notification that she's been mentioned in a thread will not be delivered to my personal email address. I've never actually met her in person although we do share the same clothes, cat, bathroom and body. I'm the pretty one though.

end statement

lawyer pulls Boiled away from microphone whilst putting duck (!) Tape over her mouth.

Today:

Today, I’m going to enter a race,
In the line, there is a new face,
A woman’s name but large feet,
Not someone I can defeat.
I lose the race, take a seat,
on the podium stands a cheat.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9 Well said 👌

GETTING AWAY WITH IT

No-one said a word
I wonder? Have they heard
About mine and OPs little ruse
Accidentally conjured for your amuse
It's quiet now, so I'll just lay low
And hope to survive the day, in order to take my bow.

And very true@Ritasueandbobtoo9 I can't imagine how a woman must feel when they stand there at the start line having sacrificed, family, social life, lie ins, junk food etc.

To discover unfit Wayne who hasn't done exercise since 1972 standing there beer belly straining through his top declaring he's now Jane and will be joining the women's race in order to feel validated.

I think if I was that woman Id be very very angry.

I had a semi interesting idea about an homage to 'John Anderson My Jo' written from the perspective of a trans widow. Maybe one to contemplate over a long drive I have later on

Oh yes, please contemplate, then write it down, in triplicate, things go missing round here very quick these days.

Unless you are the one doing the driving, then maybe voice texts are the way to go.

Although people will forever wonder about the line half way down

" fuck" she said "we missed the Fucking exit"

Agree. It reminds me of the Trinity College, Dublin student who, never having competed in a running race before, entered a race “identifying as a woman” deliberately to prove that any male, within reason, could win against females who had trained for the race.

He won the race. The female runners-up didn’t speak out about the obvious unfairness of the situation because their university has been so rainbow washed = women students there have to keep silent for fear of being labelled “transphobic”.

THAT WOMAN IS A CUNT!!

Every time I hear her voice
I clench

Every time I read her words
I clench

Every time I check her Twitter
I clench

Every time I see her face
I clench

Every time the pee escapes
I picture her in Parliament

Wearing her Sunday Best merkin
And I smile.

And I clench.

Inspiration for poetry comes in the strangest of places, like whilst sticking my head upside down to rinse the shampoo out and at that angle there's not much to look at. God, thought I, Nicola is a fucking cunt, what she did in parliament...grrrrr

're the above poem I should clarify i was thinking of Nicola and it led me to a poem about Elaine.

I mean it also works for Nicola if you imagine her lifting her skirt on the floor of the parliament to a little smiley face one.with a winky face.

So yeah works both ways, but I was thinking of the wonderful merkin wearer of tales that will be told for years to come to children sat on grannies knees. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it Nicola