Songs for Individuals With A Cervix

[Dances]

Inspired by this Janice Turner thread, my song is "I'm Every Individual With A Cervix, It's All You Neeeeeeeed"

mobile.twitter.com/VictoriaPeckham/status/1289244060016873474

What's Your Song, oh Cervix Havers?

Poor Neneh Cherry! "Kisses on the Wind" is a minefield:

More like an individual with a cervix, they talks like one
They was the first small individual with a developing cervix, they was the first small individual with a developing cervix
To turn the small individuals with developing penises on
Small individuals with developing penises, small individuals with developing penises
Wrapped around their finger
So young
Making love was only dreaming
This small individual with a developing cervix, they's got another story
When they are gone they blows them kisses on the wind...

It's Alright, Cervix-having Parent, (I'm Only Bleeding) needs a bit of work.

The lines:
"it is not he or she or them or it
That you belong to"

and "Social clubs in drag disguise" is dodgy.

Ditto:
"Pointed threats, they bluff with scorn
Suicide remarks are torn
From the fool’s gold mouthpiece".

And what's all this about bleeding?

Xie takes just like an individual with a cervix
And xie makes love just an individual with a cervix
Yes xie does
And xie aches just like an individual with a cervix
But xie breaks just like a little juvenile individual with a cervix.

Sing with me to Betty Wright now:

Tonight is the niiiiiiiggghhhht♪

That you♬

Make me an individual with a ceeeerrrviiixxx♪♬

I'm nervous and I'm tremblin..waitin for you♪

You said you'll be gentle with me♫

NeedToKnow101

Do you remember Runaway young individual with a cervix by Sterling avoid?!!!

Does this mean I can no longer accuse people of ‘fannying around’?

@DialSquare 😂 I sure do!

@SerenityNowwwww

Does this mean I can no longer accuse people of ‘fannying around’?

No fannying around, no dicking about. Substitute “unspecified genitalling about” instead, to be safe?

What about ‘sweet FA?’

You are wounding me with your hate speech Serenity. By using the appalling phrase “sweet FA” you are LITERALLY inflicting violence and harm on my perception of myself.

Be kind you f-ing bitch. Use the approved replacement - Sweet UGA (sweet Unspecified Genitalia Adams) or I am going to come round your house and stab you for your outrageous bigotry. You bully.

Well we know what happened to the original ‘sweet little fanny Adams’.

I’m so glad you replied! I re-read and had a horror moment that you might think I was really having a pop with that ludicrous drivel I just posted.

What did happen to sweet Fanny Adams? I don’t actually know!

Lay socially or financially privileged cervix haver, lay
Lay across my big brass bed
Stay socially or financially privileged cervix haver, stay
Stay while the night is still ahead

One of Bob Dylan’s finest

The individual with a cervix will be coming round the mountain when she comes...

The individual with a cervix will be coming round the mountain when she comes...

The individual with a cervix will be coming round the mountain, coming round the mountain, coming round the mountain when she comes.

She was a little girl in the mid 1800s who was kidnapped, decapitated and her body chopped up into little pieces. True story. Hence Sweet Fanny Adams/FA meaning very little...

Also that sailors then nicknamed their tinned rations ‘fanny Adams’ as it was chopped up ‘meat’ then shortened it to ‘fanny’ (?????).

@ FortunesFavour 😉

Thank you.

God what a horrible story . Strangely apt though. Plus ca change. Depressing.

[quote NeedToKnow101]@DialSquare 😂 I sure do![/quote]
Those were the days. Never thought we'd end up we're we are now!

Now what the story is behind Polly Oliver is I don’t know, but mum used to threaten us with ‘the song’ when we were kids (or maybe it was just her terrible singing voice).

Just looked Polly Oliver up. Apparently it’s about a plucky young individual with a cervix who disguised herself as a young individual with a prostate to go off to war.

She heroically nursed a wounded captain back to health and was rewarded for her bravery and sacrifice with a jolly good rogering by said Captain. And she was jolly well pleased with that as the pinnacle of reward that she could ever have hoped for.

Must’ve been mums singing then... she was start ‘ohhhhhhhhh, little po-leeee oli-verrrrr’ and we’re start screaming.

Or maybe it was her cunning plan to send you all running away screaming and out of her hair?!

Having said that, it reads like a bit of a horror story to me, but not on the same scale as poor little Fanny Adams.

Sorry for the derail into historic individuals with a cervix who have been royally fucked over. Where were we? Oh yes....

“Cos I’m an Individual with a Cervix!
I-N-D-I-V-D-U-A-L-W-I-T-H-A-C-E-R-V-I-X
And I’ll say it again...”
(actually I won’t because it’s a pain in the arse to type)

@DialSquare - "Those were the days. Never thought we'd end up we're we are now!"
Me neither! Remember the rave Biology? That could have been called 'No such thing as Biology.'

[quote NeedToKnow101]@DialSquare - "Those were the days. Never thought we'd end up we're we are now!"
Me neither! Remember the rave Biology? That could have been called 'No such thing as Biology.' [/quote]

I am a grown individual with a cervix , hear me roar, in numbers too big to ignore ...