Songs for Individuals With A Cervix

[Dances]

Inspired by this Janice Turner thread, my song is "I'm Every Individual With A Cervix, It's All You Neeeeeeeed"

mobile.twitter.com/VictoriaPeckham/status/1289244060016873474

What's Your Song, oh Cervix Havers?

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene!
I'm begging of you please don't take my penis haver.

I am an individual with a cervix, hear me roar, in numbers to big to ignore

@Catiopea

C'mon everybody, sing along!

This cracked me up 😂😂😂

This thread is like the weirdest woke version of a group singalong.

Waiting for ‘Ging gang, goolie goolie goolie goolie watcha’

Only without the goolies.

Obviously.

😂😂😂

Kumbaya, my ennobled person with a prostate, Kumbaya....

When a person with a prostate loves a person with a cervix, that second individual of indeterminate gender can do no wrong

Turn his/her/xie's back on xie's best friend if best friend's self does cervix haver down.

@Galvantula

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene! I'm begging of you please don't take my penis haver.

This is insufficiently inclusive.

It's please don't take my individual with either a prostate or cervix.

Witchy Individual with a Cervix - The Eagles

Uptown Individual with a Cervix - Billy Joel

Just Because I'm an Individual with a Cervix - Dolly Parton

This individual with a cervix's work by Kate Bush.

What does xie mean?!

Zhie’s my best friends individual-with-a-cervix, but zhie used to be mine! (The Cars)

@JaneJeffer

This individual with a cervix's work by Kate Bush.

What does xie mean?!

It's one of the Heinz 57 varieties of pronouns for every gender, along with singular they!

Basically, if you see someone with "xie" or "zie" or "they" as their stated pronouns, it's a quick and easy way of knowing that (a) the chance of them saying anything sensible is close to zero and (b) whatever you say to them (even if it's just "nice day out, isn't it?") they will find some way of getting offended.

True. What was I thinking.

Frosty the snow penis haver was a jolly happy soul

do you want to build a snow penis haver?

I saw cervix having parent kissing Santa Claus...

what a bout sharks? do they have cervixes? how are we going to manage renaming mummy shark and daddy shark?

Thoroughly tickled after reading the first few replies to this this morning and then hearing 'She's always a woman an individual with a cervix' whilst out today

Sheryl Crow: 'The best thing about being an individual with a cervix, is the prerogative to have a little fun... Prostate-haver, I feel like an individual with a cervix! Da-da-da-da-da-dada-da...'

Such an improvement on the cisheteronormative oppression of the original.

Streets like a jungle.
So call the police.
Following the herd,
Down to Greece.
On Holiday..

Individuals with a cervix
who like individuals with a prostate,
who like individuals with a prostate to be individuals with a cervix,
who do individuals with a prostate like their individuals with a cervix,
who do individuals with a prostate....

Always should be someone you really love.

There is nothing like a cervix-haver.
Nothing in the world.

I don't think you've got that right, that makes no sense.

I think it should be "Looking for
young individuals who adopt feminine stereotypes who have prostates
who like young individuals with prostates to adopt feminine stereotypes
Who like penetrative sex with young people with prostates
And anal with young people with cervices
Always should be someone, you really love" ?

Although, tbf, it seems that the concept "young individuals who adopt feminine stereotypes who have prostates " has now been handily abbreviated to the word 'girls' and is the one group you're definitely allowed to refer to as such.

@Defaultname

There is nothing like a cervix-haver. Nothing in the world.

Ambiguous.

Do you mean "there is nothing like a cervix-haver who holds the the rank of Knight Commander or holder of the Grand Cross in the Orders of Chivalry."

Or "There is nothing like a person with a prostate who plays the part of an elderly person with a cervix for comic effect?

Errol

I may not be a socially and financially privileged individual with a cervix, but I’m aaalll menstruator

If you were the only young cervix-haver in the world,
And I was the only young penis-holder,
Nothing else would matter in the world today
We could go on loving in the same old way

@MarkRuffaloCrumble

Young individual with a penis there's no need to feel down I said young individual with a penis pick yourself off the ground I said young individual with a penis 'cause your in a new town There's no need to be unhappy

Young individual with a penis there's a place you can go
I said young individual with a penis when you're short on your dough
You can stay there and I'm sure you will find

Many ways to have a good time.
It's fun to stay at the Y.I.W.A.P.C.A.
It's fun to stay at the Y.I.W.A.P.C.A

These are all cracking me up 🤣, but this one finished me because I tried doing the new actions 😂

When you're in love with an individual with a cervix, it's hard.