Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers

[boatyardblues]

That's where I want to live right now. Home of the Bluestocking pub and the Shady Pines, the favoured retirement home of gin-swilling, cantankerous elderly gender crit feminists. It's like that village in the Dales which dodged the bubonic plague and is a haven from PoMo fuckwittery. Anyone else in?

Rufus It would be a delight to run the bookshop-cum-library with you, the more the merrier (& more time for reading!)

Awesome!!!

I work in a dress shop and we are encouraged to try stuff on during the working day

So having to read during the working day woukd be great

Although I was allowed to read a policy document last time i invidgilated...it wasnt the same

Hi. I was wondering if you need a community choir? I love singing and I identify as being an excellent singer and conductor, although my DH's earplugs suggest I may be deluding myself. Anyway I would love to sing in a community choir and am happy to lead it if no one with actual talent is interested.

Definite yes to the choir. I almost feel there should be a (small) mandatory component, like military service, to ensure our protest march songs are on point. But I also do not wish to live in an authoritarian hell hole.

Can I put my name down for a few shifts at the book shop & library too please? Also happy to help out in the cafe & cake shop .

Ooh, or tell you what, I'll be our resident festival & event organiser. Still happy to help out with books & cakes sometimes

I'm not sure about mandatory choir. You wouldn't think that a good idea if you'd ever heard me sing.

Seamstress here! Please could I join you? I’m very handy with a needle and can do a special service sewing pockets in everything (to facilitate sedition).
I could also do sewing workshops in the village hall. First project will be a ‘sew a banner in a day’ with Leeds Spinners as our inspiration.

Ah, see it needs to be an island, not a village. Preferably one with a mild climate.

Better for gatekeeping.

I'm moving to Badley Fuckitt. Sounds amazing. My favourite part of the country, there will be lots of dog walking which is awesome. Fermats and I can be joint pub landladies with arranfan on cake/nut duty.
I want to have chickens please. And a nice free range adventure playground for the kids
And if it could be in a mobile phone black spot, that would also be awesome.

Ah, see it needs to be an island, not a village

In that case, it's in a lake big enough to sail on. But with access to lots of good walking and climbing... hm, maybe a peninsula would be better.

And if it could be in a mobile phone black spot, that would also be awesome.

I'm inclined to agree ... I'd want superfast broadband (I'd still want to be able to work) but it would filter out random noise such as twitter.

All notices and news items for the village newsletter to me by the end of the day on Thursday, please everyone ! I also have very reasonable advert slots available if anyone wishes to advertise their local business.

hm, maybe a peninsula would be better.

The Koreans would disagree about a peninsula offering any safeguard against invasion.

So something like a Scottish Island, good for mountains and walking, but without the god awful weather and midges. Tricky.

Former librarian and vicar here. I'll help with running the library and sort out any hatch, match and dispatch required.

Can I come and live in the village too... in a house named 'Banned Tweeting'

And I want a drive with penguin bollards

I wouldn't fear an invasion TBH - a Twitter-free mobile blackspot with a preponderance of people who are, or have been mothers is the antithesis of a cool place to be, surely?

Well yes, but there appears to be a catagory of people who want whatever women have, just because they aren’t invited.

May I suggest a moat and drawbridge.

A moat and drawbridge sounds excellent. Baggsie driving the JCB to excavate the moat.

Can I bring the horses? One is training in cavalry style moves and is very intimidating in stature. Could probably run a decent border patrol...

Badley Fuckitt is really shaping up well. Our own cavalry horses! (Can we have a tilt yard too? I so want to have a go at tilting at a quintain. I can't actually ride, but details, mere details...)