Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers

[boatyardblues]

That's where I want to live right now. Home of the Bluestocking pub and the Shady Pines, the favoured retirement home of gin-swilling, cantankerous elderly gender crit feminists. It's like that village in the Dales which dodged the bubonic plague and is a haven from PoMo fuckwittery. Anyone else in?

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Oh the midges
I will have to forgo the midge season,
unless someone knows a good witches potion that will obviously work.

I'm not familiar with that part of the world so I'll definitely be arriving by portal.

Whose up for going in the portal first?
Four of us so far.

Errol, fermats, myself, maybe we can persuade flo to join us.
If we all go together....

Does the portal also radicalise? Personally, I was never a fan of the Star Trek transporter beam (new you in the image of the old you, but a facsimile), so I would favour a wormhole if you are still drawing up the specification for the portal.

Does the portal also radicalise?

Hm, I was assuming they wouldn't have to, but that would scupper incursions.

I do wonderful mojitos, if that's any help. With fresh lime and fresh mint and all.

I make wands in my spare time

Portals and wormholes, sound exciting......I was planning on arriving on my broomstick! Would love a couple of mojitos lined up for when I arrive 😀
I want to bag a house overlooking the water (don’t mind a lake or the North Sea), I’ll have a veranda with a swing seat to enjoy the view and savour my mojitos.

Ok here are my skills

I make good cake
I can cook
I can service a car and a motorbike
I can do up houses ( renovated mine when I was a single mum)
I can keep folk alive
I know all the words to most Queen songs
I can't sing though
I can't dance

Will I pass muster ....

Midges won't be a problem if I can bring dp (gender critical biologist) along. No midge has every shown any interest in anybody else if he is close by.

If we're doing house shares, I'll baggsie you, Martin!

Can I come?
I could patrol the perimeter with a sharpened stick, or maybe that's a bit feral...
I could knit some lampost decorations for the main square and I'm a specialist at warm stripy jumpers, hats, scarves, blankets etc.
Allotment work would be perfect.
I don't know how to Morris dance but I could probably learn if required.
Can we also have our own cheese making farm? There needs to be cheese
Do we have radio station yet? Our own village radio station would be very entertaining listening

I have a slow cooker. For food between cakes.

Can we also have our own cheese making farm? There needs to be cheese smile

There really needs to be cheese. As a microbiologist I can take care of everything fermentation related.

Igneococcus Got any Tokay yeast? I need a jar of that and pass me the fruit.

Threewheeler
I could patrol the perimeter with a sharpened stick.
Your suggestion actually made me laugh out loud.
On the train.
Snort.

My colleagues over in oenology have. I can see if I can get a sachet, I don't know them very well though, the colleagues I mean, I'm in a different department and they aren't in the UK. Special baking yeasts (we produce different strains depending what you want to bake with it) would be easier to get hold of in the UK, we got a large production plant here but it's mainly baking and brewing yeasts. Wine yeasts are produced in much smaller fermenters on order from the winemakers.

I quite like the idea of bringing DP/DHs to sacrifice to the midges. Mine would also be useful in this regard.

May I suggest locating in the East of Scotland though to minimise the issue.

The War Horse and I will gladly aid with all deliveries. I'm not sure she'll fit through the portal though. But local deliveries. The War Horse is also available for equine counselling service in which she will listen sagely to your problems while munching hay. I suspect there will be less counselling required in Badley Fuckitt however...

Igneococcus
Excellent. You shall be chief fermenter. I'm personally partial to a Wensleydale style of cheese.

Oeneologists?

Wow, we are acquiring some excellent contacts to keep the residents of Badley Fuckett in the manner in which they are accustomed to.

Will need a dictionary for when the WiFi goes down.

Wrathofbubonicklop
I'm having that sort of week
Love the name change btw

Threewheeler1
I'm still chuckling over the sharpened stick patrol.

Team limestone here- much as I love a nice flask of tea atop the edge I was always a limestone /sea cliff climber - I need something to worm my fingers into.

I’ll be over the dale, running a sheep/alpaca/spinning and yarn studio.

Bowl
I like the sound of the yarn studio. I can buy my knitting and weaving supplies from you