Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers

[boatyardblues]

That's where I want to live right now. Home of the Bluestocking pub and the Shady Pines, the favoured retirement home of gin-swilling, cantankerous elderly gender crit feminists. It's like that village in the Dales which dodged the bubonic plague and is a haven from PoMo fuckwittery. Anyone else in?

May I join you? I'll start up a WI. There will be strict joining criteria (definitely no penises for a start).

Omg errol you have a sausage dog!!!!

I could perhaps open the French sister village, Mont Vatefairefoutre, ou qqchose similaire? We could have a reciprocal arrangement.

getting on myself , although finding the empty nest has been great for training

Ah, stupidly I played brinksmanship with my fertility and had DS incredibly late - so I find myself in my fifties with a very bouncy child, no spare time and rapidly atrophying muscles. I do take him out climbing, but given that I weigh 3 times as much as he does, obviously he can't belay me! Maybe I could hold your ropes, Midge.

Je voudrais etre in charge of la franglais twinning arrangements, s'il vous plait. Je suis trés keen on l'idée de une EU feministe grande.

Bon. Ca c'est tout (et le sum total de mon franglais).

Thinking of nice places near the edges of the Dales, could we have a Harrogate-style Turkish baths in a nearby town? With a single sex women's evening once a week?

Fermat only if you keep your young, flexible, strong and bouncy thing from laughing at me

Put my name down for residence right now. I have few useful skills and am overeducated in things of no practical use but am usually a good laugh. Though inclined to be sweary.

I would be delighted to run the library and/or school library (cos, buswoman's holiday). I would very much like to have R0wantrees as senior archivist.

I think, distasteful as the Graun is, we should stock everything. Very much in favour of a free press, including the freedom of that press to be wankers if that's the path they want to go down.

Good point well made, Fermats.

I'd like to come, I don't really have skills but I'm the right age demographic. Ooh I have managed a bookstand bookshop and am happy to fill in at unsocial hours.

Loving the witch museum proposal, the henge and the archaeological digs. It’s starting to sound a bit like Avebury.

I will bake cakes for the deli. They won’t be dainty, but they will be tasty.

I’m guessing the village hall is actually called the Germaine Bunbury Memorial Hall. It has a small feminist loaning library next to the catering hatch.

I could run the local parish newsletter, perhaps, if that would be useful ?

Fermats please marry me. I’ve never met anyone else who knows who Catherine Destivelle is.

It's like that village in the Dales which dodged the bubonic plague

I fear we ARE the bubonic plague... but at least probably immune to it ourselves! It's in the soil, I heard.

Of course! It seems as solid a foundation for a lasting marriage as any!

We can have the reception in the Germaine Bunbury Memorial Hall.

(Runs around with t-shirt over head, football-goal-style fashion. No-one's ever proposed to me before.)

Gosh he village is barely formed and we have the first love triangle...just because Fermat name checked c.d. you jenny propose to her not me. Gutted.

Ah, stupidly I played brinksmanship with my fertility and had DS incredibly late - so I find myself in my fifties with a very bouncy child, no spare time and rapidly atrophying muscles.

The under 10s are contained in a giant bouncy castle at the edge of the village. We post sarnies and pop in through the windows a couple of times a day to keep them lively. The teens are on a strict rotation schedule of 8 hrs sleep, 8 hrs bouncy castle supervision, 8 hrs gaming console/Snapchat outside of term time and school hours.

I fear we ARE the bubonic plague... but at least probably immune to it ourselves! It's in the soil, I heard.

Today’s Woman’s Hour factored into my OP.

We could ... struggles for a moment with the complexity of franglais... have un faire-le-housework a trois, Midge, Jenny?

I like the cut of your jib, Boatyard: the bouncy castle suggestion is inspired.

I'm so far over the hill I've forgotten whether I have any skills but can I come along and sit quietly with a cup of tea, have a little doze and occasionally join the conversation?

A trois sounds good to me

Night all. You will be pleased to know we haven’t slashed the street lighting budget here in Badley Fuckitt, so you should all be able to make your way home safely from the pub. We have a dark skies night once a month for our resident star gazers, mind. We’re not savages here.

Ooh, loving the sound of Badley-Fuckitt! I would love to run the cinema - which will of course only show films that pass the Bechdel Test. Phones must be handed in before entering the screening room and can be retrieved on leaving. Noisy sweeties will be confiscated.

Oh I'd like to move in if I may? I can run the art gallery. Lots of female artists, workshops for locals and even something to keep the kids occupied once in a while. And a gift shop. I love gift shops.