Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers

[boatyardblues]

That's where I want to live right now. Home of the Bluestocking pub and the Shady Pines, the favoured retirement home of gin-swilling, cantankerous elderly gender crit feminists. It's like that village in the Dales which dodged the bubonic plague and is a haven from PoMo fuckwittery. Anyone else in?

It's just galloping in a straight line, Fermats, you'll be fine.... we'll Velcro you on. The mare likes a gallop. She'd stop eventually though.

Can I come do some shifts in the bookshop/library? Or run a museum for the dig?

I can also correctly sex any skeletons the archaeologists fine.

Find!

It's the librarian in you coming out, ISay.

Its going to be a lovely bookshop/library

She'd stop eventually though

If it's an island and she goes in a straight line, she'd have to.

BTW, the pub already has a paddock next to the beer garden with a couple apiece female donkeys and nanny goats. I've forgotten their names.

Interesting numbers of Librarians here, me too!

I can also teach C25K courses, fitness and relaxation, and mindfulness.

Decent baker, and a dam good decorator, including wallpaper and everything!

Would keep a tidy garden and help with Badley Fuckitt in bloom competition.

(I get The Grauniad free at Waitrose and use it to start the wood burner, mostly without even reading it first)

I have kitchen skills and can find my way around a sewing machine and a sheep. I’m loading up my car as I type and just need the postcode for the satnav.

Interesting numbers of Librarians here, me too!

It's not surprising, ImPreCis. We're demons for accurate classification, and information. Shelve a book incorrectly and it's lost.

Despite being suitably elderly and cantankerous, I'm afraid I'm unlikely to be joining you as I don't like the countryside or drink tea. But have a lovely time.

I'm sure we can install some sort tunnel straight into the pub for metropolitan types

Ah lovely. I'm sure The Mare will enjoy leaning over the wall into the beer garden, listening to the craic and begging for crisps. In between war horse duties of course. I have few useful skills outside of mare care and piloting though. Although I have always thought I might be a good librarian.

I think some sort of portal or teleportation device, with one end in the Bunbury Arms (just off Great Russell Street) and the other in the Bluestocking. That should enable metropolitan types to join us for the odd single malt and provide a convenient way for the denizens of Badley Fuckitt to access London.

I could do with distribution assistance for the newsletter - perhaps you and the mare could help with that, womaninboots ?

That’s really very kind although I don’t get on so well with pubs either these days as my hearing is shot (which makes me even more cantankerous).
Aside from a bookshop, which you’ve got covered my needs would be:
A coffee shop run by hipsters. (Don’t ask me why, they just make the best coffee. This is a peer reviewed fact.)
Decent hairdresser.
Good dress agency, vintage shop, charity shop.
Underfloor heating.

You have no idea how shallow I am.

Oh yes, that sounds like something we could assist with. The War Horse Express at your service.

I would like to move there. I need a property with a field for the sheep and hens I would like to keep. I haven't had any before, but it is a pipe dream of mine. I have all the books . I have a donkey book too if anyone wants to borrow it.

Errol
I do like the idea of a portal (or several), maybe a secret passage in the biscuit aisle at Tesco's.

The space between the regular biscuits and the posh ones would be a sign for the MNetters to secretly escape to the lovely Badley Fuckett without the faff of public transport or parking.

Maybe the trolley as well.

@womaninboots - many thanks ! You may find that there’s demand for a delivery service more generally. If you’re going around anyway then dropping a bit more stuff off would be efficient.

Portals, definitely. Despite the invitation to careful drivers, it might be nice if we could minimise dependence on cars - and save travel time, obviously.

With a nod to JKR, who would be around to advise how the portals work and join us all in the pub.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

(That was the closest public access point I could find to the Bunbury Arms)

Biscuit Aisle 9 1/2. I like this idea a lot. (Continuing with the Harry Potter vibe, could we maybe locate the island on which Badley Fuckitt sits at the end of the Fort William to Mallaig line, sandwiched in between the mainland and Skye? We would need some sort of midge removal programme though.)