Torn perineum during sex. Can I have a handhold / hug? Very sore

[Feelinglost006]

Exactly that. I had sex at the weekend. Used a condom (Tesco brand and they seemed to go very dry very quickly anyone tempted by the cheaper price compared to durex and mates etc - DONT! they are truly awful and will leave you feeling red raw) added some water based lube and felt much more comfortable. Was a bit sting-y having a wee afterwards. Anyway that night I felt hot, sore throat, feverish. banging headache which has taken days to shift. Immediately booked a covid test (My job brings me into contact with covid cases) so wanted to be careful and make sure. Had the test monday, isolated and tuesday it came back negative.

my privates became more and more swollen and lots of sores which resemble ulcers appeared/ I have had several vaginal births and the pain of being torn and stitched after birth has got nothing on this. Feels like millions of tiny papercuts. Surprisingly no discharge or smell. So i began warm salt baths, I wear cotton underwear anyway as I cant tolerate anything synthetic down there. I got some sudocreme which didnt help at all so got some vagisil (lidocaine for the pain)

Its just got worse and worse. I can barely walk, hardly sit down, its red hot, hard and swollen and gone a green / yellow colour between my vagina and anus and I have ulcers all over. Managed to get a GP appt after 2 days waiting. Was examined as scared it might be herpes. They had difficulty in examining me its so bad and painful but DR said I have a considerable tear in the perineum and a couple of smaller splits / grazes which have sadly become infected. Also have a temperature due to the infection.

Been prescribed 7 days anti biotics , tramadol for pain and paracetomol plus 5% lidocaine instead of the 2% . The tramadol isnt touching the pain at all. tried codeine phosphate and paracetomol before that which also did nothing. I am getting shooting pains deep into my vagina, stinging pains where it feels like someones cutting me with a razor blade and it feels constantly wet and damp (its actually very dry down there but feels damp IYSWIM I am dapping the area when i use the loo and it now looks like a faintly bloody / watery/ dirty dischage on the paper (have to really look at the loo roll to see the change in colour. still no smell thankfully.

Just feeling very sorry for myself and wanted a bit of a virtual hug. I wasnt deliberately hurt, he put several fingers in me which I enjoy but i think with the dry condom and friction from that then fingers has caused it to tear. I didnt even notice at the time . Feel a bit mortfied really.

Oh OP if I knew you in real life and we weren't in a bloody lockdown I'd come over and give you the biggest hug. Do you have a good friend that would be sympathetic and understanding if you confided in them?

Also, I get why you feel like you do, but you absolutely should not feel ashamed.

No advise op just wishing you well really soon. 💐

Op I have so much sympathy for you, sounds agony and yet you are so honest it's refreshing.

Is your partner supporting you?

I havent read the whole thread sorry, just your posts OP as I recognise some of your symptoms. Just in case your test comes back negative... have you considered it might be shingles and not herpes. I had shingles once on my vulva and it was quite similar to what you are describing. Comes on during a time of stress or when your immune systems is low. Same family as herpes but different and not sexually transmitted, it is the chicken pox virus reactivating. It is distinctive in that the sores will be on one side of your body only, and of course you must have had chicken pox at some point. Just a thought in case your sti tests are negative.

Oh my god, just RTFT. You poor, poor thing.

I'm not liking that your perineum now smells foul, did you tell the nurse? The last thing you need is an infection on top.

Thinking of you 💐

@WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo

I havent read the whole thread sorry, just your posts OP as I recognise some of your symptoms. Just in case your test comes back negative... have you considered it might be shingles and not herpes. I had shingles once on my vulva and it was quite similar to what you are describing. Comes on during a time of stress or when your immune systems is low. Same family as herpes but different and not sexually transmitted, it is the chicken pox virus reactivating. It is distinctive in that the sores will be on one side of your body only, and of course you must have had chicken pox at some point. Just a thought in case your sti tests are negative.

I was just going to say possibly shingles? The broken glass, wire brush, burning iron sensations are classic symptoms.

I will look up synprove. I need to really seriously look at and take proper stock of my life in view of what’s just happened. I have had serious amounts of stress over the past couple of years . I have posted about some of it under different usernames but would be so incredibly outing if I linked them .
But it consists of divorce from an abusive alcoholic , single parenthood , women’s aid and then a failed relationship with someone who cheated repeatedly and had a drug habit . Started a new career with very long hours in a stressful role . Ex barely sees the children - does no parenting so no support there other than when he contacts my eldest to remind him he hates me . You get the idea. I suffer anxiety and take medication for that and depression which was made a lot worse by the relationship break down last summer. It properly floored me and I picked myself up from it very very slowly. I take medication each day to keep those symptoms at bay but balancing working and the demands of family life and the constant feeling I am a shit parent is probably my most major source of stress. Not looking after myself. Sleeping far too much neglecting eating properly just running on adrenaline and feeling constantly like I am going to have a breakdown . It’s got to stop. I said at Christmas it had to stop and my family had to be more supportive and stop loading crap on top of crap before I break. This without a doubt is the turning point . It has to be. In some people it’s more serious. It’s a massive heart attack or some thing else which forces them to stop completely slow down and make changes. I am treating this as a massive tap on the shoulder and a warning

With regard to shingles I thought that but apparently it only effects one side of the body .

Also thought about molluscum contagiousum (sorry bad spelling ) as my son had this on his leg recently !

Oh God OP, this sounds just so horrendous. I’m so sorry for you. I had no idea that herpes could be so bad. I hope you feel better soon

A friend of mine had herpes and was advised to wee in the bath. I know it sounds gross, but it meant it didn't touch any of the ulcers and apparently it helped a lot.

Yes the weeing in the bath is much better. It’s a strange sensation as just before the wee is about to come out it feels like pins and needles down there and you get loads of tingling electrical pulse type sensations just before it flows out

By the way, I also recommend symprove. It’s had w really positive impact on me (IBS type symptoms) but I’m hoping it boosts my immune system too. You can find voucher codes online if you buy direct from them. I used LIZZIE15 for 15% off recently but I’m not sure if if it’s still valid.

Aww. @Feelinglost006 I feel so awful for you. Sending you the most huge hug.
You really have been through it. I totally hear you about neglecting yourself. You must start to put yourself at the top of the pile from this point onwards.

I really hope you're on the mend soon. X

@Feelinglost006 I've been following your thread and I obviously don't know your circumstances but if you can afford to give up work, reduce work or take time off please do. Not sure how old your DC are but you might get enough help to keep you going for a while. Your health and well-being are so important.

I hope you make a full recovery and don't suffer with this again but I think you're right to treat it as a wake up call. I'm a big believer that our bodies sometimes let us down as a warning before we crash.

Get some vagisil - it’s a numbing cream. I used it on a bad tear and the pain is utterly indescribable. Vagisil didn’t make it any worse at all, and meant I could actually pee without crying.

Sweety what's stopping you going to A+E with this level of suffering? It's heart rending reading about your pain getting worse.

Please please go to hospital x

How are you today feeling lost? Hope there is some improvement.

This is primary herpes not secondary or shingles

Hi all
I have just ordered synprove from amazon and also some lysine supplements . Both will arrive tomorrow .
I have been asleep solidly since last night. Only woken briefly a couple of times. Just passed urine and before that was at 4am . Going to have something to eat. The pain is now only in the back of my thighs and legs. They feel very tight. All the sores have gone except for the original big ulcer all over the perineum. That is still there still as yellow looking as it ever was. Still stinging and hurting. It’s strange as the other ulcers / blisters havent crusted or scabbed over then dropped off. They have just vanished and I have felt the area and there’s no lumps where they were.

Still no test results back yet from the clinic. The anti virals run out today . The lidocaine I was given has run out so gone back to using vagisil . No idea what to do next other than pain relief which I am using as and when

@Feelinglost006

Hi all I have just ordered synprove from amazon and also some lysine supplements . Both will arrive tomorrow . I have been asleep solidly since last night. Only woken briefly a couple of times. Just passed urine and before that was at 4am . Going to have something to eat. The pain is now only in the back of my thighs and legs. They feel very tight. All the sores have gone except for the original big ulcer all over the perineum. That is still there still as yellow looking as it ever was. Still stinging and hurting. It’s strange as the other ulcers / blisters havent crusted or scabbed over then dropped off. They have just vanished and I have felt the area and there’s no lumps where they were.

Still no test results back yet from the clinic. The anti virals run out today . The lidocaine I was given has run out so gone back to using vagisil . No idea what to do next other than pain relief which I am using as and when

The anti virals have cleared the herpes. I know you desperately don't want it to be that op, but I am 💯 sure it is, the first attack is the worst. I think you have an infected tear as well, and that how unwell the infection made you probably triggered the herpes. Drink plenty, and try get lots of rest. Hopefully it's almost over now 🥰

Clinic have called.
Confirmed it’s herpes. It’s type 1 which is the cold sore type apparently

Did you mention that you were still in pain at the end of the antivirals? Did they have any advice?

I'm glad it's feeling a bit better - what a rotten time you've had. I'm so glad you posted on here and went to the GUM clinic or you'd have been stuck with just the antibiotics for that much longer.

I know you're feeling really upset about it being herpes right now, and that's understandable. Hopefully over time the fact that so many other posters have had similar experiences will help you think of it as a horrible thing that happens randomly to people rather than anything else.

I just read your whole thread. Really hope you get better soon.

You’ve certainly had a very dramatic and horrible entree to herpes
I’m pleased you are sleeping , the more the better , and slowly healing

I hope you are feeling better soon OP you have been though a lot. Sending you a hug.