I was in two minds about watching live tonight - I didn't last night - but there's stuff you miss if you're an idiot and watch the afternoon version of the show so I missed out on the terrorised bumhole, more cunty language and I'm really not sure what the last comment Holluh made to Hannah as Hannah was walking away was.
My take, because noboby gives a shit (I'm amazed that I do to be honest). I didn't watch last night because I wasn't in the mood for Holluh and thought I'd deal with it better, or not at all, by watching it (or not) this afternoon.
Gaston and Amy. I don't think she's a prude and it's clear that there was a lot of sex going on between them because they had nothing in common but fancied each other. Not wanting all of the sex talk in public is perfectly normal as is not wanting to be pawed in front of the cameras. I genuinely don't think that Gaston is that thick and he just refused to stop doing something that he knew was annoying/embarrassing her. I see no reason to suspect that she was lying about what he wrote in the letter and that sort of shit when you've made it clear that a relationship is over borders on stalky town. Amy may be an arsehole but I appreciate that she's always had Hannah's back and her being an arsehole and unnecessarily nasty at the final vows - although where would the final vows be without some orchestrated by the producers/writers drama - does not make Gaston the poor little hard done by boy. He never respected her boundaries which is shitty behaviour.
Kieran. Fuck off. Fuck off. And while you're at it. Fuck off again. I don't think he was every properly into Kristina and I'm annoyed that I fell for his nice guy bullshit. Kristina deserves better and I hope she finds it.
Kristina. Go Queen!
Emma and Caspar. It's nice to see actual grown ups in the room. He needs to let his hair grow a bit. She is the best woman in the show. Funny, self-deprecating, caring and at times very wise. I think she'll make someone very happy one day. I think Caspar will be a bit like the character Tom played by James Fleet in Four Weddings and a Funeral. He's the very, very posh one whose home is a stately house and ends up marrying a woman who likes dogs as much as he does.
Ryan and Shannon. Who really gives a shit.
4Kids. It was lovely that we got so little of him.
Nafe. Love you dude, you're the best of the blokes with someone else a close second for me ... ooh the suspenders!
Lacey. You don't deserve Nafe and you're one of the quieter girls who used to back up the bullies or try to wind the situation up. You could be lovely but to be fair it's amazing she's as nearly nice as she is given her mother.
Charlie. I'd have loved more Charlie. Charlie had what it took to be a fun character to have around although I wasn't too keen on her listening to Polpot and Holluh and the others about Hannah before she met her, but fair play. People do it far more often than they should. I used to. I don't anymore.
Ross and Scorcha. Don't buy them. At. All. Her hair. Wow. I mean I'd love to think it was a joke that she was playing rather than just being a joke but there you go.
Shitlids. Definitely pushed and prodded. Definitely shouldn't have had wine thrown at him. But. Some of what she said was true. He was both honest. "I don't fancy you. I don't know if we have a future." and dishonest. Having sex with her for at least three weeks into the ixperiment and after CCs. Prevaricating. Was this because she kept pushing? Probably. But as someone told me she can't be excused because she's not a child, neither is he. He could have walked away at any point in the ixperiment and didn't because like them all he wanted a bit of fame/infamy. Fuck around and find out. He'll come out of this with most people on his side but that doesn't make him a decent person. He isn't.
Polpot. I tried to be understanding of her issues yesterday because I did see some of younger me there - not as bad, dear god, not quite as bad as that - but she's her own worst enemy. Her behaviour was embarrassing. Forget the f-ing and Jeffing and throwing wine, her desperation to be liked by a man who has no respect for her made me cringe for her. I genuinely hope she's getting help with her inability to control her emotions and the only reason left that makes me think she's worth an iota of empathy is that her friend Alfie seems like the most decent of chaps and surely there are redeeming qualities if he still hangs around with her!
Orson. My second favourite bloke who came to life once his time on the show was over and we only got him back for a couple of episodes. He's funny, decent, seems nice to be around, throwing no shade and I LOVE that he chose Emma as the bride he'd have liked. The looks on some of the women's faces (poor Ollies) were wonderful. I loved that Hannah was genuinely smiling. She totally gets the game.
Hannah. I love her. She played a blinder. She only has to exist to make Holluh look like the piece of shit she is. The ixperts should bring up the bullying tonight because she has been so maligned for nothin other than being more of a naturally attractive woman than any of the bullies. Fair play to her and Ryan walking in together. Nice for her to have someone have her back as she entered a room, as she said it was the first time. She's right about Holluh's child.
Did I miss someone out?