Sweet Bobby (Netflix)

[GenerousGardener]

Just listened to Sweet Bobby on BBC sounds. Very interesting listen about a woman who was ‘catfished’. Then saw it advertised on Netflix, coming out on Wednesday.
Got to be worth a watch.

The whole community thing is odd. If their families knew each other they'd absolutely know the real Bobby was married with a baby.

Kirats behaviour when she knocked on their door was awful. Why would you go back with gifts for the baby and say he felt like a stepson?

She could adopt.
Have a surrogate.

I dont think he is out of her league as she is attractive - but I would say she would not be a good match because of her self centredness, emotional immaturity and mental health issues. Her hysterical messages, irrational behaviour and scary crying selfies would be massive red flags tbh.

Objectively is very odd behaviour, Bobby and Sanj don't know her from Adam
But in Kirat,s mind she believes she's been in a relationship with "Bobby" for such a long time and talking anything the baby like he was her stepson,if she's really entrenched in these beliefs, she probably can't see how odd it looks.

She could but she's talking about her own child as she's blaming Simran for wasting her fertile years.

I’ve got back and watched the last part of the Netflix programme again as I didn’t catch on to the bit people mentioned about her stalking Bobbys wife. She did and that was very conveniently glossed over in the programme. Erm, like how many times were you hanging out there???
Kirat also said she did a family tree for Bobbys family. Again, nothing untoward pop up while you were doing that love?? 🤔 Did she share this family tree with Bobby(Simran) who may thought, “The jig is up/she’s in on this”.
I’m far too invested in this now 😳

Kirat’s done a recent interview with a podcast.

It’s very long and discursive and not terribly enlightening. The hosts give her a lot of validation (although look like they’re privately a bit sceptical) but there are a few interesting moments, chiefly her revelation that she met a friend or relative of Bobby’s who showed her evidence that he was well and happily married but she rationalises as a front for the community. Likewise, the two Facebook profiles as being a public one and a private one which everyone had at the time, apparently.

She’s clearly aware of the flak she’s been getting for being gullible and spends a lot of time stressing how smart and switched on she is and says she wants to clear up the Witness Protection thing once and for all. But her explanation clears up nothing and just makes the waters murkier. She seems to conflate the hospital with the WP programme and doesn’t address why she thought the US would be protecting a UK citizen, or that you would go into witness protection for a year’s contract which all your friends would know about!

Elsewhere she’s bitter that real Bobby isn’t interested in backing her efforts to secure a criminal prosecution, but there’s no insight into how she came across to him and that he and Sanj are justified in wanting to keep their distance. She also seems poorly informed on how the law works and what might need to change to make catfishing a crime (if that’s what she wants) and how that might come about. The hosts seem really poorly informed on this point as well. To be fair, they’re just a doctor and a marketing guy.

I do feel sorry for her and it feels like she still hasn’t really processed everything that happened and isn’t taking accountability for her part in fuelling the drama. The PP who said low esteem had it dead right. She found herself wanted and needed and got over invested very early on.

Ooh that's an interesting thought, maybe it was Simran wanting a relationship and pulled Kirat into it?

With her cousin??

They were actually second cousins I personally wouldn't know know any of my second cousins if i fell over ,them but I know it can be different in Asian families, kirat did say Simran used to confide in her so first possible. Simran used to confide in her.

Meant to say admired her maybe a crush?

She was still living with her parents when this all came out.

There was also really big age gap which the Netflix doc glosses over. Why was she confiding in her cousin who was at least 15 years younger and why was high flying Bobby her mate too they would have nothing in common except that she dated his brother presumably when both were teenagers so no lasting connection ?

I wonder if there was an element of infatuation with Simran.

Part of me thinks that she knew that what was being fed to her was fake but not that it was Simran more a sort of fantasy emotional affair with the real Bobby. It doesn’t explain the Simran link and the other ‘characters’ though. I am just not sure I totally believe it.

Agree, she was completely histrionic.

I wonder whether either of them will end up on Piers Morgan, as happened with the Martha character from Baby Reindeer? There's already photos of the real Simran on Twitter!

I’m re-listening to the podcast now as it gives a lot more context. There’s a lot the tv show glosses over. Bobby didn’t just say he had a stroke, it was cancer, suicide attempt, depression, a heart transplant. ‘He’ even pretended to have a heart attack on the phone the night before he was supposed to fly to London to see her. She then got a call from his supposed older cousin blaming her for stressing him out and causing his heart to fail. She was also told he wouldn’t live more than another ten years. It really was a very deep level of deceit and a huge amount of guilt on her part about doubting what she believed was a very physically unwell person who claimed to love her. If she went a bit loopy as a result, honestly I can’t say I blame her.

Two things stand out for me.

When she finally saw the real Bobby when she went to his house, why didn't she immediately wonder how well he looked, considering his severe, recent, and intractable health problems?

The second thing is this: I think Kirat is a closet lesbian, and she didn't want her family to know, which is why she had an extremely long relationship with another man, before she met Bobby, which didn't end in marriage. In her community, that is highly unusual.

So the long Bobby "relationship" was just another way of making sure that her family didn't become aware of her sexuality.

Quite possible.

If she is she migh not have accepted it herself so in some ways it suited her to have an online relationship with "Bobby" and put all the blame on him for not having a family of her own .

I've just watched it and to be honest have no sympathy for her,it's just so fucking stupid. He was shot and put in witness protection but was able to use his name again on Facebook 🙄 and contact people. How long was he supposed to be in hospital for? As someone said it would have cost millions of dollars.
It was obvious it was the cousin, she was the only person that she actually knew and still saw in the flesh.
I can't believe that she was so naive and gullible, there's definitely more to it.
Someone needs to make less one sided documentary.

I just watched this last night. I can't get my head around the scope, depth, effort and deceit involved. It's going to take a very long time, and lots of therapy I should imagine, for poor Kirat to move on healthily from this.

But, like lots of us, I have so many questions. Did Kirat's mum never tell her dad? And if not, I wonder if that's caused issues within their (the mum and dad's) relationship.

I appreciate how insidious and all-encompassing this deceit went, but I don't understand why Kirat bought the whole witness protection thing. Even me, with my very limited knowledge of such things, would know that in witness protection you leave your whole previous life behind.

And how did she fall for the pregnancy thing? Wasn't Bobby meant to be practically bed bound after the stroke? And can someone's vocal cords be permanently damaged after a stroke?

So many questions but, my goodness, that poor woman :(.

Just watched this, had never heard of the podcast… absolutely bonkers.

I can see how she fell for it initially. At first even I was confused as I knew it was a catfish story but couldn’t understand how it was heading there given that ‘Bobby’ and his family also knew Kirats cousin, all of the Facebook people and profiles interacting with each other etc etc. It was only as it progressed and things got more and more bizarre that it started to become obvious who was the culprit was. The level of detail and deception is gobsmacking.

i have similar questions to PPs on here though particularly how she never came across the real social media of Bobby and his wife, or find out via people in their community that he had never got shot and certainly wasn’t in ‘witness protection’.

@Cocolapew
Someone needs to make less one sided documentary

What!? What’s the ‘other side?’ From what perspective is it ok to do this to someone?

I didn't say it was ok to do it to someone but it wasn't really an interview, no questions were asked apart from was it sexual, which she refused to answer.
There are a lot of questions that need cleared up.

I would have definitely been interested in hearing from the others involved in this and some more probing questions, not to upset K or humiliate her just to go a bit more in depth as to why she wasn’t questioning things. The motivations in doing this, I would have been interested in the wider families thoughts and feelings too but it did feel like a lot had just been glossed over or had the surface scratched.