Sweet Bobby (Netflix)

[GenerousGardener]

Just listened to Sweet Bobby on BBC sounds. Very interesting listen about a woman who was ‘catfished’. Then saw it advertised on Netflix, coming out on Wednesday.
Got to be worth a watch.

This was absolutely mental! I'll have to take a deep dive into the podcast now.. should motivate me to start running again 👀

But yeah just why?

It's way way worse than Tinder Swindler because there's no motive save for total and utter baseless cruelty.

I listened to the podcast years ago and agree that it's hard to understand how she can have been so taken in. The actual Bobby seems lovely

Please can someone that has listened to the podcast share a bit more info on the cousins motive etc
I would really like to know but unlikely to listen to the podcast.
I agree that there must be something in Kirats life that makes/ made her vulnerable or scared of a real relationship.
I also wanted more detail about the cousin like was she close family, what was the reason Murat and her family thought motivated her and why did nobody at any point ask a few questions or do a bit of digging that would surely have revealed the truth relatively easily as her parents said they knew his family etc.

From what I remember the cousin tried to portray that she saw kirat was lonely and wanted her to be happy so she invented this and it got out of hand .

OMG at this story! And the outcome.

The thing I found difficult to square off was how, in this allegedly very close community, no one knew the actual Bobby and blew the whole thing open or that she never googled him and found his real Linked In profile showing that he’s a cardiologist at Brighton hospital or real SM profiles.

I think it goes to show that we will do a lot to basically shore up the narrative that we want to believe.

I listened to the podcast a couple of years ago and just watched the documentary w DH. He was - wtaf! - I told him he must listen to the podcast now as it went into so much more detail.
I agree with those who say how could there not have been any checks, by family even, as to who the real Bobby was. And how much time did Simran have to run such an elaborate scheme with a cast of 60 ‘characters’. The mind truly boggles.
There also needs a real tightening of laws around cat fishing and coercive control in England.

Kirat was extremely naive though.

Never to talk to or see the person you have bonded for over nine years is bonkers.

@Gummybear23 totally agree.
i felt sorry for her, but to have that going on for 9 years is incredibly naive, to think she had a ‘relationship’ with someone she’d never properly met, seen or spoken to!

What isn’t clear to me, is did Simran create totally new Facebook accounts for Bobby, his wife, and all his family, then lift photos from their real accounts?

How none of Kirat’s friends and family spoke up to say ‘hang on, this is all seriously weird’ is sad too, unless Kirat had closed herself off from everyone too much. However, I know that if I lived with my parents (which she did, unless I’m mistaken?), they definitely would be questioning things over the course of 9 years!

I also think Kirat has been mentally damaged by this.
The fact she is wanting still to wanting to speak to Bobby demonstrates this.

In her mind , she still believes she knows him and equally he should her.

@tigerbear - I think that’s what she did - lift the photos from the ‘real’ accounts.
The only person who had an idea of something not being right was her older relative - aunt? Maybe she tried to say something but Kirat didn’t want to believe her? Agree she was very naive. She’d had one serious relationship with a flaky guy and then ‘Bobby’ came along… plus living with parents you are sheltered more.

Tbf I think the 'wanting to talk to Bobby' is about having a united front in a bid to tighten laws/effect change around catfishing. But I agree poor Kirat is irrevocably damaged by this, understandably.

I listened to the podcast.
They go into detail on the elaborate world that was created. So many fake people.

Today we have laws on coercive control and surely if someone did this now they could be prosecuted on that. Obviously not retrospectively so Simran just gets away with it.

I've just watched. I agree with you. I just didn't get the lack of curiosity on the part of her and her family. Surely someone would have done a Google on him and his family especially when they were getting concerned about her wellbeing. Wasn't the real Bobby and wife still on social media? Surely after familywould have asked questions withing the community. After she was told about the pregnancy, surely would have at least looked up the 'ex-wife'. And how long was he in the hospital, in the USA, it would have cost multi-millions.

Clearly, I don't to diminish her lived experience but there were so many unanswered questions.

She says in the podcast the Sikh community is relatively small and generally everyone knows everyone or knows someone that does. However I think ‘Bobby’ got away with a lot as he was based abroad, and Kirat probably said that asking lots of questions about him might compromise his safety.

some of those selfies she used to send every morning make for very sad images indeed.

it's a bizarre story. Surely a google search would've located him? I bet the private investigator didn't have to work hard! And ten years! I work with young adults who often have these online relationships which they say are the same as in person relationships. And I just don't get it. At all. How can you spend years
and years just communicating online, thinking you're in a romantic relationship? And the bit about the conversation they had where his voice was weird and not quite night: that's because Simran was doing the talking?

I think once she’d invested a few years in it she was just blindly determined to see it through. It’s like those people that lose money on a romance scam. Lots of them hang in just on the off chance it wasn’t all a lie and they’ll get that money back.

OMG, I've just watched the Netflix documentary and I'm now listening to the podcast!

I'm in total shock, I mean I feel really sorry for Kirat and how she was slowly taken in by 'Bobby', but like others have said there were so many red flags that she missed or just refused to see.
The part in the documentary and the podcast where she meets the real Bobby in a night club and he doesn't have a clue who she is!! She just brushes it off!
Also like another poster has mentioned as the years went by did no one Google him? Did his real life social media accounts not start popping up? It's just so bizarre!

Also her cousin who orchestrated the whole thing, it's so insidious!! According to the podcast she had done something similar to the real Bobby's brother JJ while they were dating!

So strange and so many unanswered questions. I watched the Netflix and then listened to most of the pod cast after reading this thread.
What did the cousin have to gain ?
She was spending hours orchestrating this
Also kirat implies there waa a sexual element to this ,its just so weird and I have watched a lot of catfish episodes
I really felt for Bobby,s wife can you imagine having a strange women turn up on your door step thinking they were in a on line relationship with your husband but also thinking they were kind of a step parent to your small child?

Sorry but Kirat came off as unhinged when it came to the real Bobby and his family. She admitted that she had the urge to run over his wife when she saw her, and the whole going back to the house after finding out he wasn't 'her' Bobby and asking to see the kid who she has never even met but she sees as a stepson, was just so inappropriate and she didn't even seem to realise it. How could you be be a step mum to a child youve never even interacted with in any capacity? It's as if she feels that if he just got to know her they could have the perfect life she imagined. I do feel sorry for her though. She wasted the prime of her life on 2 unavailable men, and seems very damaged by it, as you would be. But just how could it have gone on for so long? On some level, she must have known, surely?

My thoughts are that it suited her as imo she didn't really want a marriage/ family.

I actually thought that, too! She did not seem particularly weird in any other way, came across intelligent and reasonable - but the whole "love" story is so bizarre, who would put up with something like this??

I also felt for the real Bobby and his wife. Must have been quite scary for them.

I tired it off as was a bit boring post podcast, but the podcast itself us quite interesting. These kind of catfishers are more common than you think.

I'm listening to the podcast and much prefer it to the Netflix show as there's more about the cousin. I'm on episode 4 at the moment.

The really glossed over the sexual element in the Netflix show!

I think the producer asked about the sexual element and she said ‘that’s not an appropriate question ‘, or something like that

Yes, she did but in the podcast it was phrased in such a way that really makes you think about what had been going on during their 12 hr overnight Skype calls.