Sweet Bobby (Netflix)

[GenerousGardener]

Just listened to Sweet Bobby on BBC sounds. Very interesting listen about a woman who was ‘catfished’. Then saw it advertised on Netflix, coming out on Wednesday.
Got to be worth a watch.

The family don't want to upset Simran's family and understandably so,they are close.

I wonder if there was a part of Kirat that didn't want a family at all and so it suited her to keep telling her family she was involved with Bobby and waiting for him?

We want to know why Simran did it but why on earth did Kirat do it?

I also find it very hard to believe her mum did not know he was still married and living with his wife. I mean, I am from a quite tight knit immigrant community (but nowhere near as tight knit as Sikh community in the UK) and I could find out in a space of an hour who the person is, who were they married to, etc etc. How come through all the years of the "affair" there was literally no one who happened to know both Kirat and the real Bobby?

Also, I would not believe in a million years that Kirat did not snoop on Bobby's wife's instagram - so she must have seen he is not in NY but with his wife in Brighton? Like, wtf?

I think there must have been people in the community who knew Kirat was nuts and "in a relationship" with someone who doesn't exist but chose to ignore it/ pretend it wasn't happening. But it was a bit shitty that no one informed Bobby and his wife (especially as Kiran is clearly a threat to the wife and the kid).

I agree this whole thing is really messed up, elaborate wind up and a way for Kirat to get herself out there and get paid.

The whole thing is seriously off its head! If Kirat was ‘in on it’ as PPs then that’s even more disturbing for Bobby and his wife. Idk what’s makes her more nutty tbh, her being completely naive and thinking Bobby is real, or knowing it’s all BS but being a crazy stalker.

I would like to see Kirat asked the questions that we’re all asking here. On the programme and the podcast, she’s in control of the narrative and giving her side of the story and how this has affected her. But! I haven’t seen her having to defend her completely bizarre choices and why she wasn’t the teensiest bit curious about Bobby, his wife, friends etc and looked them up.
It beggars belief really.

I agree. I expect she'd get very defensive,just like she did with her dad.

All the repetitive narrative of 'this could happen to anyone' is bollox.

I listened to the podcast when it came out and watched the Netflix show yesterday. It's quite unbelievable that someone can be that gullible. It's sad.

I thought this was a really well made and gripping documentary (all credit to Netflix because they often do this sort of doc very well).

Kirat is obviously a smart woman with so much going for her. It's a terrible shame that she was manipulated for such a long time by an incredibly dedicated and determined criminal. I applaud her bravery in exposing herself to the inevitable reams of criticism about "how could she have been so gullible/stupid?" when the real question is surely "how could the cousin have been so heartless and manipulative?".

Mumsnetters have been duped by scammers on these boards over the years. It's really not that unlikely or unusual.

Is that you, Kirat?)))

Hmmmm, not for 10 years,they haven't.

Not being mean but Bobby was out of her league.

Did she not think this herself?

I think she was lovely.

Maybe that’s why she was enamoured by him, because he was a catch.

I thought kirat was likeable and articulate..but this was a strong case of cognitive dissonance, she chose to believe what she wanted even though she must have had some niggling doubts. Also she should've confided in more real life friends but kept it to her mum, teen cousin and the fake online personas who told her what she wanted hear. She preferred the safety of fake bobby to the unpredictable dating world. She kept going back to her first partner too, which was sad as he dumped her after 18 on off years. She should've sought counselling instead of jumping into chatting with bobby. Simran is a psycho narcissist ..she ruined kirats life and the real bobby should be seeking prosecution for using his photos and identity to cause distress to another

Any empathy I may have had (and there wasn't a lot to start with) for Kirat completely went out the window when she talked about wanting to run Sanj over and talked about being "stepmother" to the baby. She crossed the line from desperate and delulu to a dangerous fantasist and stalker at that point.

In other news, I was most put out by how genetically blessed Bobby and Sanj are. Unfairly gorgeous couple 😍

I can’t agree with this at all, in what way was the real Bobby out of her league?

In the podcast you hear of all the group chats sometimes consisting of 39 members - a mix of fake and genuine people whom Sinran had created profiles for, all interacting with each other. She even pretended to flounce out the group as someone who supported the wife.
I mean who on earth would guess that there was one person faking all these people at the same time?

People saying they think Kirat knew deep down it wasn’t real - I actually don’t think that is true as listening to the podcast her reaction when she found out the truth seemed of absolute genuine shock. Certainly there were things that were off and you hear how frustrated she became towards the end with ‘Bobby’, but she had been manipulated and under coercive control for so long she was utterly blindsided.

This story could made into a film. Ambika Mod from One day, would be fantastic cast as Kirat.

I actually didn't think this. She was a nice looking girl from a good family, with a bit of a profile on radio...it wasn't out of the question that he might have been interested. And although he is a perfectly nice looking guy, I honestly think if he worked for the council in a bog standard job, nobody would be saying how genetically blessed he is.

The podcast is much better than the documentary. Much more exploration of the controlling elements.

And @Gummybear23 yes yiu are being mean. Really mean.

But again, 30 people she had no real life interaction with, at all, ever.

The piece that just doesn’t add up about her side of the story is that she saw him and spoke to him in Brighton, yet never mentioned it to him again.

Agree with PP, she still seemed to speak of her relationship with Bobby as if it were real - talking about the engagement ring ‘he’ chose her and how elaborate it was, and getting annoyed by the real Bobby and his wife locking the door on her when she showed up at their house.

I personally don’t think the doc has done her any favours - she was a fool to believe it all for so long, and doesn’t seem to take any responsibility for her own bizarre actions.

I can't believe how much time Simran must have put into this.
What was her living situation? She must have been living with parents at least when it started.
Not suggesting someone should have twigged, I mean anyone with teens/young adult children knows how much time they spend online. But she must have been dedicating all her time to this scam.

I think it's really easy to say this happened to her because of x y z - but I genuinely think this could happen to anyone. The level of deception was just so extreme with all the false identities and also with her trusted cousin saying she had met him.
I think she's been really brave sharing her story and wish her the best rebuilding her life. She's clearly a very caring and compassionate woman.
Government and police need more action in this area - how is it not a crime? How can people do something this disturbing almost as a hobby? What is going on with the police that they did nothing.... Wish I could say I was surprised

@MaryWelly but surely not many people would spend 10 years messaging someone without ever meeting them and agreeing to marry them and have babies with them? People get catfished and scammed, yes. But 10 years?! With all the massive red flags - being shot/witness protection/a wife and child/damaged vocal cords etc etc.

That couldn’t happen to anyone.

Watched this last night and have so many unanswered questions. I’m going to listen to the podcast today as by reading here it may answer some of them.
My first thought is did Simran have a job? It must have taken all her time to create all this.
Secondly, someone else raised this too but how did the real Bobby and his partner’s real
facebook accounts never pop up?
thirdly, 10 years and never hearing his voice - I call bullshit, a huge part of Kirat must have been happy with a virtual relationship. In the world of google it’s not hard to find out what it means to live under witness protection, she seems like an intelligent woman who would have done her research.