Sweet Bobby (Netflix)

[GenerousGardener]

Just listened to Sweet Bobby on BBC sounds. Very interesting listen about a woman who was ‘catfished’. Then saw it advertised on Netflix, coming out on Wednesday.
Got to be worth a watch.

Me too! I honestly thought that Kirsty was simply extremely naive when I watched the Netflix show.

It was shocking and beyond belief that this went on for 10 years. I think I could get it for 2 years then you would be “really, you can’t call”? She was sending daily selfies, he wasn’t and he wasn’t in an ICU unit for all those years either, he managed to father a child with his so called ex but couldn’t call her?
She was either extremely dim or was happy to have a non physical or even verbal relationship with a man she never met. Why?
They colluded to keep the father in the dark because he would have sorted it in a day and she didn’t want that. She has made an awful lot of money out of this. I liked her. I thought she was bright and Beautiful and a warm woman who could have had a husband anytime she chose. She chose not to. Why? Lots of unanswered questions for me here.

I hope she is ok though and I would be interested to hear much more about Simran and her motivations and her after math.

Can anyone explain who Kirat would speak to on the phone. Who was the male voice for Bobby, Yash and the other 'amigos'?

Simran, that's what I find so unbelievable.

She has made an awful lot of money out of this.

I hope so actually - podcasts don't generate much money but I would like to see her profit from the TV show and end up in a good place.

I also listened to the podcast. I found it infuriating. I absolutely fail to see how anyone could be that stupid.

I really don't like the implication that Simran stopped Kirat having a baby, for all her faults if her biological clock was ticking badly she could've been married and pregnant( hopefully )anytime she liked. She chose not to. She's still saying "Who knows if it will happen for me now?" She's 44 fgs, she's deluded.

Apparently it was Simran whispering ,as "Bobby,s " vocal chords had Been damaged ?
I'm not sure she actually spoke ,to the other " Characters" other than online did she?

I’d love to see Kirat do a proper interview about this, she’s being very selective about the press and promotion she does, it’s soft interviews only and and I’m sure she’s giving out a list of pre-approved questions.

I’ve yet to hear her being asked even a vaguely challenging question about any of it.

Apparently not a single interviewer has thought or been allowed to ask her “why didn’t you ever Google Bobby?”.

This is what was frustrating. There was a lot of loose language. The documentary gave the impression that K “spoke” to the other amigos but I don’t think it can have been more than text-based communication. Similarly with her family “knowing” Bobby’s family. What was meant by knowing? Surely if they knew them they would know Bobby wasn’t a cardiologist and JJ wasn’t dead.

I think a part of Kirat but didn’t want to burst the bubble so didn’t do the obvious checks or ask the obvious questions. There was a huge clue with the encounter in the club but she chose to ignore it. I think she was flattered and intrigued by Bobby’s attention from the start and didn’t want to destroy the fantasy or possibility that he represented.

I was reminded of Lyn Barber’s memoir about her teenage affair with a conman (which the Carey Mulligan film An Education is based on). Having got engaged to him she finds out he’s married by opening the glove compartment in the car and finding a bill addressed to him and his wife. She reflects that she could have looked any time and wonders why she never thought to look before. The woman in Bad Surgeon also berates herself for not making some very obvious checks despite feeling something is wrong. It seems like a common pattern. But yes… to let it go on for ten years is extraordinary.

I'm not so sure about the club ,I think they were not speaking that regularly at that point?
Just messaging now and then ?
Some people do add lots of Facebook friends despite not really knowing them
Plus they were out and probably Been drinking ,i can understand at that point why she didn't think it was thst odd he didn't seem to recognise her .

Did it never occur to her to fly to New York to see him? Oh but “Witness Protection “WTF but then Simran was able to go (apparently) and bring back his smelly t-shirt.

I mean who actually flys to NY for medical treatment? Which I think was after he had been shot. The most expensive country to be in ICU I’d say. The whole thing is mad.

Yes and the club was loud so he couldn’t hear her properly. She didn’t want to embarrass him or herself so left it. She hadn’t spoken to him much at this point either.

Re speaking to Bobby she said that she did regularly and even her family spoke to him but he whispered as he’d claimed he’d damaged his vocal cords through illness/surgery. Then he’d end up having another stroke and wouldn’t be able to talk for a while again… Apparently Sinran had also faked an accent doing his voice.
Re the other characters she did speak to a few - one of whom spent most of the telephone call crying so didn’t speak much. She did think a couple sounded similar and questioned it but thought maybe because they were related. There would be Indian music playing in the background so would drown out their voices.
Crazy the lengths Sinran went to!

If I recall correctly from the podcast, she’d been messaging Bobby the same day or certainly within a day or two that she bumped into him in the club, and she messaged him the very next day after she’d bumped into him, but didn’t raise it as she “didn’t want to embarrass him”. It’s so far fetched.

Yes it’s weird she didn’t ever mention bumping into him. Tbh though even if she had, Sinran would’ve just made a cover up and Kirat wouldn’t have been any the wiser.

Agree. Kirat is a very bright and attractive woman. Not out of Bobby’s league at all. Can anyone explain why they might think that?

I found the nightclub encounter the least implausible part of the whole thing. I don’t find it difficult to believe that a Facebook friend you had exchanged the occasional message with might not recognise you in a dark, crowded, noisy environment after they had had a few drinks.

Yes but next time you messaged wouldn't it be the first thing you mentioned? Wouldn't you say, in a light hearted way, ' Hey. Did you recognise me in the nightclub'? No issue whatsoever but she didn't. She did say vaguely that she thought she'd mentioned it years later but couldn't really remember what he'd said.

Probably, if it was just a vague online acquaintance and I wasn’t that bothered. I can see why she didn’t, when she was already so invested that the wrong answer would ruin her week.

Are Simran and Kirat’s families on equal footing in the community? Kirat’s dad is so deferential and apologetic to them.

I thought Kirat was very attractive too - and seemed like a nice person. But I was reading a Reddit thread (I’ve really gone down the rabbit hole!) and there were suggestions from people who said they were from the Sikh community that her family was not as high status as Bobby’s, and that she would also be viewed as getting on a bit. People tend to marry people of equivalent status and age apparently. She’s 5 years older than Bobby.

It’s difficult to parse these cultural subtleties as an outsider and the documentary isn’t interested in exposing them.

Yes, Simran's dad was best man at their wedding. Kirat's dad just didn't want to fall out with family friends.

Well, clearly she’s not very bright if she fell for this crap for ten years.

Except IMO she didn’t fall for it. And look at the attention and money it’s got her.

I thought this and it might explain her mother's bizarre collusion with it all, she was dazzled by the thought her family was going to marry into a wealthy higher status family.
I mean it's a huge stretch to understand that Kirat believed it all but to think her family was also all in is nuts.

The shooting and witness protection thing was insane, who exactly was he supposed to be being protected by American authorities from and yes how did he manage to go and father a child despite his alleged horrendous health issues and threats to his life.

I'd like to see an objective documentary with psychologists analysis and input.
A deep dive as people say 🥴