MASTERCHEF - The Professionals. With beards, my liege.

[Halsall]

New thread......

cheese-eating surrender monkey

I love that term.

Not my own, sadly Grouchy

I read it on a cartoon somewhere many years ago ("Get Fuzzy",I think)

There is a queue to kill Gregg, Crisp - but you can put in for "compassionate violence" if you feel you can't wait, and they will fast-track your application. (TOP TIP: mention that you will use a really novel way to terminate the little tosser eg death by sous-vide, or confuting, perhaps. The committee smiles on the original. Offer to decorate his corpse with nasturtiums and pansies. And present it with a jus de spectacles. Worth a try)

*confitting, not confuting - unless confuting is more painful, obviously

I think it's from The Simpsons, Schaden.

We used it often in my pretend fighting days.

Aaah! I knew it had come from a philosophical debate somewhere [kiwi]

*, not [kiwi] (What was I thinking? - though a [kiwi] emoticon would be rather nice . . . )

Heh! I agree.

I'm starting to feel a little bit sad for Gregg! Must be the weather- sure I will get a grip tonight.

Ha Myfanwy I am a longtime lurker on these boards and fully enjoy the insults and witty repartee; however I too have started to feel a little sad at the beginning of the program when Gregg happily looks with all confidence into the camera and puts on his glasses.

I think “Ah man how your facial expression would change if you could only read half the comments there are about you on Mumsnet!”

Do NOT feel sorry for Gregg Myfanwy. He is an overpaid grocer who got a lucky break and who insists on intruding what would otherwise be The Greatest Show On Earth - and worse, acts as though he knows what he is talking about!

The Gregg-free Thursday is a joy - wait until you experience the Nirvana that is Gregglessness. It is sublime!

Occasionally you will see a flash of barely concealed contempt from Marcus, and tightened lips from the competitors as he is pontificating. It is well-deserved.

I have only once seen a chef come out of the kitchen and say "Gregg liked my dish" - and that''s been when the other two were practically vomming unimpressed. All the chefs want Marcus' and Monica's comments. Gregg is just there to provide the cabbages.

I know Schaden, I called him a Conehead! But have a heart, it is nearly Christmas! And it really would not be Masterchef without him. Who else would we rip the piss out of?

Myfanwy - I stand corrected. You are right - without Gregg (double-"g", ffs!*) we would be in dire straits indeed.

However, whilst I acknowledge his importance as "The One We Love To Hate", I pity him not, as he is well-remunerated for being a town.

*There was a bloke on our PTA who was (not real name, but to give you the idea) "Kenn" with a double "n" - he was an absolute wanker!

Drifters Do you want to start a fan club?Only joking!But ....

I love these threads. 'D' husband has demanded suggested that I keep quiet on the insults about Gr-egghead when I am watching as it's apparently spoiling his enjoyment of the show.

I am most unimpressed and felt like a coiled spring last night.

Also unimpressed at the lack of women this year.

Myfanwy Ha! I do also quite like Eat Well for Less

:: runs and hides ::

Two I like that show in spite of Gregg. I enjoy the judgey feelings the show provokes.

What I want to know is why was John Malkovich in disguise as a rubbish French chef?

For a bet I expect Witch.

All of France must be up in arms about it. Why he didn't just do a snail croissant or something I don't know.

Excuse me a moment - I need

Good evening my lieges. We have a potential Queen Elizabeth (let's hope not Mary) tonight.

Alcohol - check

Cheesy Wotsits - check

A WUMMAN CHEF - checkcheckcheck

Jesus wept - I could cry looking at that poor little bird.

Marcus looks pissed with Gregg already

Hello all.

Pigeon. No thanks.

Pigeon seems quite a Tudor kinda meat.

Evening all!

The cats brought one in the other day. I out it in the bin - what a wasted culinary opportunity.