MASTERCHEF - The Professionals. With beards, my liege.

[Halsall]

New thread......

"Nothing more disappointing than dried up pigeon" - gregg obviously hadn't had to watch himself on Masterchef . . .

Evening. Pigeon. Meh.
Look Monica's got her tatt on her wrist. So come on Squoosh, where's Marcus's? Does it say Property of Squoosh?

Schaden What a criminal waste. Next time take it along to your closest restaurant and sell them the meat. You could put your cat to work for you.

Marcus's says 'If Found, Please Return to Squoosh'

ANTS. What the hell.

Knew an ol' country boy who shot pigeons for farmers and then BBQed their breasts (pigeons not farmers) and had a chunky sarnie for his snap.

As it happens that particular cat is a kleptomaniac, and has brought me several pairs of gloves, a golfing hat and a large number of empty crisp packets in the past . . . .

Louisa -cone on Wench! Make us proud!

Jane Seymour. She sounds like she knows her pigeons.

Monica's smiling approvingly here....the wench is doing well

Marcus is smiling benignly - I hope Squoosh doesn't get angry at this young damsel.

I like Louisa. She had better do well or I'll scowl at her.

What's up Grouchy?

But....overcooked pigeon??

And Beetroot!

The Force is Strong in this One.

Tense pigeon . .. oh, dear! Perhaps some soft music from the Relaxing Classics Collection would have helped.

What ho, four. Louisa put ants on her food. That's very upsetting, but I've decided to like her anyway.

Bad Ed Sheeran lookalike next

Mmm! Naice sox!

Could do with his hair combed. What is his mother thinking letting him go out like that?

He will make an excellent churl, though.

I missed that Grouchy Bleurgh!

Open fire cooking. Hence lack of eyebrows.
Wacky socks and awful clogs = wanker.

CRITICISED HIS MOTHER'S COOKING!!!!!

BAD, BAD CHURL!!!!!!!

Tense pigeon . .. oh, dear! Perhaps some soft music from the Relaxing Classics Collection would have helped.

This kid looks like a Tudor. I think he can be Edward ... VI? I forget. The one what went before Bloody Mary.

Hippy chef. SEND HIM HOME.

I'm not keen on the churl dissing his mother. I reckon he's a twat-slash-wanker.